RHONY Recap: Regency Reunion

Tinsley is waiting for Carole at a little restaurant-Carole is really liking Tinsley so far. Tinsley reports that her mom and friend are coming to help her apartment hunt. Carole and Tinsley both attended the Winter Wonderland Ball at the NY Botanical Gardens (Carole slayed) a few weeks ago and Carole reads Tinsley a gossip blurb about her, that also mentioned Carole, from the NY Post. Tinsley is overwhelmed being back in NYC because of her past. Carole suggests reinvention, like cutting or coloring her hair but Tinsley gets panic stricken at the mere thought of not being blond, or not having her curls. Girl. Carole does have a point but Tinsley is not having it.

Sonja is having lunch served by Frenchy. He’s moved in and is extra. Frenchy predicts that they’ll be very happy and thinks Sonja should shut the door when she’s pooping. Sonja thinks he shouldn’t even be on the same floor if she’s going and should ask permission before climbing the stairs. She is cray. Sonja doesn’t think Tinsley should be in such a rush to leave. Now Sonja and Frenchy are chatting in bed about those “beechez” and how their relationship is no ones business. He mentions a text he got from a friend about Sonja and Rocco. Sonja lies.

Ramona Facetimes Avery to tell her the kitchen is finished. She wants to have a cocktail party to celebrate the completion of her renovations and is inviting Bethenny. She feels bad, wants to make amends and really has no idea how things got this far. Really?

Tinsley and her mother Dale are meeting with Chris, the friend/realtor to apt hunt. He tells her they’re in the “primest” neighborhood in the West Village. They look at a 4 bedroom ridiculously priced apartment with a tee-tiny master bedroom. It’s pretty, but for almost 9k a month? Tinsley says she can afford it but wants to keep looking.

Carole is having her interior designer over to finally refurbish the couch she inherited from her mother in law. It’s old, classic, has a lot of history but is beat to hell. She’s been collecting fabric swatches and the designer is like whoa. There’s a lot. There’s also a cat hanging from the curtains. Adam shows up bearing flowers and is picking up the last of his things. Carole is relieved for the space and knows their relationship will get much better. She wants his Buddha head though, and is willing to trade him-he wants her lamps. The designer says no way-Carole says they’ll talk later.

Back to the apt hunt with Tinsley and co-they look at another 9k apt but this one is WAY nicer and she’s dumb if she doesn’t take it. Tinsley hems and haws, she’s not sure if she’s “mature” enough for an apt and the responsibilities (wait what?) and starts to go in panic mode about renting. She’s kind of overthinking this and being a baby. Shit happens-she’s 39 or so? I kind of get it but come ON.

Bethenny has Fredrick over to declutter and simplify her apt for sale. He wants the bar out-she doesn’t think it can be moved. She did some furniture moving and Fredrick is happy with everything but the bar. Bethenny makes a call and finds out it’ll probably break if they try and move it, which Fredrick is fine with. Bethenny is not. She spent 40k in it (for WHAT?) and doesn’t want to break it.

Carole is packing for the D.C. women’s march. She and Dorinda are going together.

Sonja is in Hoboken NJ to meet Rocco for dinner-sort of out of the way, no? They’re so happy to see each other. Does he own this place? The restaurant is shut down just for them. She’s got to tell Rocco about Frenchy. She starts off telling him the Tom saga, and Rocco says some guys think the way Tom behaved is normal. Sonja says she doesn’t like it, she wants “normalty”. Now she’s got to explain Frenchy and is stumbling over her words, doing it very poorly. Said he’s a complete stranger she slept with and now he’s moved in and she doesn’t know how it happened (basically, that’s what I got anyway). What a liarface. She tells Rocco that there’s no other guy like him though. Lies. Rocco wants to know the status of their relationship.

In DC, Carole, Dorinda and Hannah are marching. Some of the chants are funny. There are so many people, they have an amazing day.

Ramona is prepping for her cocktail party to show off her apartment. Her hair looks awful and weird, in a tight high ponytail but it’s too severe and her ponytail hair is fried. Carole is the first to arrive and noticed Ramona’s weird hair. Tinsley and her mom arrive, she introduces Ramona to her mom-you can definitely see the 2 eyeing and sizing up each other. Dale comments in Ramona’s pony. Ramona thinks her pony is edgy. It’s not.

Tinsley is rehashing her apartment hunting drama to Carole and complaining about how overwhelming it is. Waaah. Dorinda walks in-I think she should trash a room. She’s too classy for that. I’m not. Oh look-Harry Dubin. I feel like when he’s on the show he tries extra hard to be schmexy and he just comes off as smarmy and gross. He says hello to Tinsley, she introduces him to her mom. Harry is openly staring at Tinsley’s chest, compliments her cross necklace then comments on her chest. Tinsley is grossed out. She drags her mom away, calling Harry an asshole, but he follows them because he’s gross and persistent.

Sonja’s here! Ramona calls her Sony. Sonja turns the corner and hears “hello, Sonja” in a Hannibal Lector-y voice but it’s Harry. Of course. She’s like really? Harry?

Harry like Sonja’s red lipstick. She tells him she’s turned over a new leaf, and he wants to see it. Ugh. Tom and Luann stroll in. Luann actually tears herself away from Tom’s side long enough to sit with Dorinda and Carole. She asks if Bethenny is coming-no way. She was invited but declined. Ramona and Bethenny still are not speaking.

Now Ramona has joined them and Dorinda asks what they have to do to get Bethenny and Ramona back together-Carole recommends a text and meeting in private. Ramona gets defensive and says that it wasn’t all her, why is she getting all the blame? Carole explains that Ramona went to unnecessary lengths to insult Bethenny, but Ramona says “hey, I was attacked!”. That didn’t happen but ok. Ramona says she doesn’t even remember what she said and blames the fact she was drinking on Bethenny-Ramona was “nervous”. Ramona says she really loves Bethenny and wants to reach out and make amends.

More Harry, yuck. A woman named Missy walks in, she used to date Tom. Harry orders her to “come here!”, she scoots away. Missy gets introduced to Luann, Tom is a bit red in the face-and he reminds the ladies they met once before at the Regency.

Tom and Missy awkwardly conversate-like, they’re talking without trying to look like they’re talking-she comments on his wedding ring and Tom compares it to being a dog with a collar. Excellent. Great pick, Luann. Lu whispers to Tom asking if that’s the woman from the Regency, she’s got that fake nervous smile plastered on her face-he says “it’s Missy”. Lu prods a bit more and he admits they dated. She’s still wearing the fake, forced, nervous smile and is totally crowding him. I’m waiting for her to lift her leg and mark her territory. I don’t buy for one SECOND that she’s secure in all this.

Harry is now honing in on Missy. He’s trying to get the details of the Regency hookup with Tim in the bathroom (that place needs a serious bleaching) but she’s not going there. Lu and her freaky forced smile scare her, and she doesn’t need that mess coming for her. Harry tells her that she’s the full package, and she says “you snooze, you lose”. I think Lu did her a favor. If I owned or managed the Regency I’d be pissed-the image Tom gives it isn’t a good one-a sleazy, skeezy pick up/cheating bar where middle aged bald men bang chicks in the bathroom. Not a good look. For either. It’s Toms personal bachelor pad. He’s gross too. Anyway-

Dorinda is doing the robot dance in the corner. Sonja thinks that Ramona invited Missy on purpose, starting drama.

Next week: Bethenny plans a Vermont trip. Tinsley can’t sleep. Sonja offends Luann. Tinsley melts down.

Talk soon Lovelies

-Allie

RHONY Recap: A Countess No More

Yes, guys, I’m back on my game. Sorry about that last 2 weeks! Anyway-on with the show.

At Sonja’s townhouse we see Frenchy making some coffee. He’s YOUNG. Sonja comes downstairs, bedhead and all, to see he’s brought her a poinsettia and is making her eggs. He asks if Tinsley will want to eat, Sonja doesn’t seem thrilled with that so sort of blows it off. She thinks that Frenchy is taking the relationship too seriously. Tinsley comes in to join them for breakfast anyway. Tinsley lets us know that originally she was supposed to date Frenchy but Sonja kept him for herself. Sonja offers up a threesome, to which Tinsley declines. So weird. Tinsley asks the status of their relationship and Frenchy says it’s serious, they explain the weird rules they have. Tinsley asks about Rocco-who Frenchy apparently knows about-and the ladies shriek. Subject changed to eggs.

Bethenny is setting up for her holiday party (a white tree??? NOOO!!) and is setting up an alcohol luge which is pretty cool and will probably be very popular.

Dorinda is stuck in traffic and wrapping Bethenny’s gift.

Ramona is putting on makeup because she’s going out with Avery and her friends, since she’s not invited to Bethenny’s party. She’s only slightly upset about it.

Sonja’s packing, and she and Tinsley are deciding what to wear to Bethenny’s party. Conner and Tinsley made plans to hang out while Sonja is in Phuket, and Sonja doesn’t like that at all.

Back to Bethenny’s party-prep and guests are in full swing as Dorinda arrives. There’s little lobster rolls and caviar. Dorinda asks the chef to teach her how to open an oyster, which brings tons of innuendo from this hyper sexual bunch.

Ramona is going out drinking with her daughter and her daughter’s friends. Tackyyyy. Know your place, crazy eyes. Ramona is beyond thrilled that the girls are all into wine.

Carole and Tinsley arrive to Bethenny’s party-Carole looks amazing and takes a luge shot. Tinsley does as well, but not as gracefully.

Avery reveals that Pellegrino is “her water”, and that growing up that’s what she called it. The girls are all reminiscing about growing up hanging at Avery’s house, and Ramona tells them to come “hang” now-they can bring some of their friends, she’ll bring some of her friends-it wouldn’t be awkward at all. One of Avery’s friends piped up “maybe your friends have sons they could bring” which momentarily brought Ramona back to earth.

Carole is luging it up! Bethenny and Tinsley are chatting about Ramona’s charity party the night before (Bethenny was invited but didn’t go, obvie). Showing scenes from the night before we catch a quick glimpse of a walking corpse-like vampire dude saying hello to Tinsley and Ramona. Whoa. Cue Ramona talking about Bethenny AGAIN. Tinsley asks Ramona if she’s coming “tomorrow night” (meaning Bethenny’s party). Oops. Ramona realizes she’s not invited.
Dorinda is still pretty upset at Ramona for trashing her house. Ramona remains unapologetic, as she often does. Tinsley tells Bethenny that Ramona says she regrets coming at Bethenny so hard.

Back to Ramona not acting her age-she starts telling Avery and her friends about her fight with Bethenny and says she lashed out, blacked out, and went on a rampage. One if the friends says “You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells with a friend.” Ramona acts like that was the deepest philosophical awakening she’s ever heard, dramatically throws her body back against the booth and flings her napkin behind her (for someone else to pick up). She sings the praises of the super wicked wise 21 year old. The girl keeps going, seemingly on a roll, and Ramona is eye poppin’ shocked at her brilliance.She feels a “bond and synergy” with these kids, all the while flipping her hair like crazy.

Bethenny asks Dorinda if she went to Ramona’s party-Forinda says she did and said what she wanted to Ramona about the destruction of the room. Rewind to the night before, we see Dorinda confronting Ramona, who stands there smirking, and Sonja mocks Dorinda-those 2are the biggest assholes. Back to Bethenny’s, Sonja walks in as Dorinda is telling her story of Ramona’s history of disrespecting her home. Sonja’s talking head is complaining that Dorinda isn’t over it.

Dorinda tells the ladies that Ramona was minimizing her actions and just didn’t care-Sonja is rolling her eyes.

Ramona tells Avery and co how she destroyed Dorinda’s home, and thinks it’s super cute-she says “Dorinda is SO mad at me”. I’ve got a feeling that those kids know better than to do what Ramona did and think she’s an asshole.

Dorinda says Ramona just wants to ignore it-Carole thinks Ramona has been more aggressive. Dorinda doesn’t want this to be a Ramona bashing session. Sonja pipes in with saying how Ramona does that sort of thing all the time, that Ramona has trashed every single hotel bathroom she’s ever stayed in. So Ramona is a disrespectful pig. Got it.

Ramona is now making a drunken I love you toast to Avery and her friends-they’re ALL her daughters!

Back to Bethenny’s they’re drinking out of chocolate chip cookie cups, which is so cool.

Now we’re in Florida for Luann’s wedding. We see personal footage of her getting ready, her dress arriving-they show the actual wedding spot, which is quite beautiful.

Dorinda arrives for her wedding hair and makeup late-Luann thinks she was at the beach.Ky says she’s a hopeless romantic and she knew the first week she was with Tom she would marry him. Not sure HE knew that. We see Tom in his tux looking a little nervous. Lu’s talking head is gushing about her relationship with Tom-we see her in her dress and veil getting her makeup touched up.

Jill Zarin gets her 2 seconds of attention to wish the couple good luck. Tim is escorting his mom down the aisle, then Dorinda walks, looking beautiful.

***SIDE NOTE****
Wasn’t there some kind of stink where Luann refused to allow Bravo cameras in? Like at first she said yes, but right before she changed her mind? I thought I heard something about that. Which is pretty ungrateful since without Bravo no one would notice or care that she was getting married. Anyway…
****

Luann’s kids are walking, then Luann with her brother, Michael giving her away. The priest says a few words, then some sort of vows, then they’re married. They kiss, and she almost knocks him over. The kiss looks awkward to me. Her talking head then flashes her wedding rings “HA HA!!” Yes, Luann, you got the prize.

Tom and Luann exit a doorway into the reception with a really bad voiceover announcing them. We only see snippets of the reception, every guest’s face is blurred, and we see a Marilyn Monroe impersonator jump out of a fake cake. Lu is dancing with Tom and towering over him. The end.

2 weeks later in NYC Carole and Bethenny are in Chinatown for lunch. Bethenny is incredulous that Carole hasn’t been to a place like they’re at, and Carole just tells Bethenny to order for her. Tom and Luann are having a post wedding party for all of the uninvited, so there’s that, and Adam finally found an apartment, Carole is glad.

Dorinda and Ramona are having lunch at Dorinda’s. Ramona is getting all of the wedding details and actually being gracious. Dorinda is all set with Tom and Luann wedding parties-enough.

Bethenny and Carole are amazed at all of the different foods in ChinaTown. They go for ice cream, and despite all of the crazy flavors, Carole gets boring chocolate. Bethenny is unimpressed.

Sonja is ordering Conner to redecorate her bedroom to make room for Frenchy’s things since he’s sort of moved in. Tinsley discovers that tidbit and is pretty surprised. Sonja likes him but he wants to adopt kids.

Tom and Luann’s post wedding party for the uninvited (aka get more presents) is starting-Bethenny gets there 15 minutes late but is still the first one there. Since she’s the only one there she makes a crack that it’s a party for the only people that haven’t slept with Tom. Ha. Dorinda arrives, she and Bethenny agree that it’s enough with the Tom and Luann wedding parties. The bride and groom arrive, Carole does too shortly after. Ramona gets there with Avery, and complains about the venue.

Bethenny and Avery exchange pleasantries but Ramona and Bethenny ignore each other. Tinsley is there-with a date!! It’s 23 year old Chad! Ramona complains about his age. Avery is a very poised, gracious and lovely young lady. Is that despite Ramona?

I find it really strange how Lu hovers over Tom during group conversations. It’s needy, clingy, and weird. Tom is showing off his wedding ring and making jokes about it. He says he didn’t want to wear one, but Luann insisted. I bet. Sonja and Frenchy arrive, Ramona shrieks at their arrival, and Sonja introduces him to all of the ladies. Has anyone noticed the strange high pitched giggle/cackle that Ramona develops around testosterone? Watch-you’ll notice it. Tinsley tells Bethenny that Frenchy moved in. Sonja actually looks really happy. Ramona is cackling.

Dorinda and Bethenny are chatting and ignoring John, who I didn’t see either until Carole says hello to him. Tinsley comes over to talk to Carole and can’t wait to tell her she’s got a 23 year old with her. Carole is all like, well, that’s cool and all-but if you’re looking for a husband and children….

Ramona calls her “friend” Jim over and introduces him to Sonja. I think she just didn’t want to look man-less especially since Tinsley and Sonja both have dates.

Frenchy is entertaining Sonja and Ramona (cackle cackle)-she’s awkwardly acknowledging Jim-they’re dating but that’s all she’s saying. Sonja and Ramona mock Tinsley’s date saying he looks 12, which is ironic coming from Sonja.

Sonja introduces Frenchy to Tom and Luann, they talk wedding, and are all very pleasant. Tom then aggressively grabs Luann by the thrust sort of in a chokehold and kisses her. SO. WEIRD. There’s been a lot of weird this episode.

Dorinda makes a speech to make up for her first one in the boat where she drunkenly slurred her way through. Lu is hovering. Tom takes over the toast and talks about the wedding, making a jab about “true friends and family” being there. The comment does not get past Bethenny and Tinsley, who laugh it off.

Next week: Frenchy and Sonja talk their relationship and “those beeshes”, Sonja isn’t very honest with Rocco, Tinsley gets advice from Carole, Bethenny renovates to sell, Ramona defends her behavior.

Yay! I did it!

Talk soon Lovelies
-Allie

RHONY

Guys-I’m not going to be able to recap this episode because I’m a nerd and going to be watching Comey testify. But we can use this as a discussion thread-because I’m sure I’ll have plenty to say about the episode once I do watch it.

Y’all like the new blog name? 😁

So feel free to discuss-

Talk soon Lovelies
-Allie

RHONY Recap: Return of the Berzerkshires

So Frederik, our Million Dollar Listing friend, is Bethenny’s real estate agent and he’s come to her apartment to list it and give her advice about getting it sold. She’s selling it even though it’s a sentimental place for her. As they look in her closet Frederik picks up one of Bethenny’s glittery “hooker” Louboutin’s smells it, and kisses it. He loves shoes, he says. 😳

She hands Frederik a piece of chalk, and wants him to put on a chalkboard a list of all the things she needs to do to make the apartment more sellable. He tells her she has too much clutter, which is a dirty word to her. He hates her chandelier and the bar, he says the bar makes her apartment look “fratty”. Now they talk prices-they both write what they think and want and show each other at the same time-they agree!! They both say 5.25$ million.

Ramona visits Carole at Carole’s apartment. Carole is fixated on whether or not the apartment smells like kitty litter. I don’t blame her-that is a horrible smell. Nothing worse than walking into someone’s house and the smell of cat punching you in the face. Carole has a whole bunch of eyeglasses and Ramona is picking through them. They have drinks and chat about Dorinda’s charity event the previous evening-Carole says that Tom and Luann seem happy and Ramona smirks. Carole says that Tom was talking about the wedding and was giddier than the bride. Ramona still smirks.

Tom and Luann are walking the dog, it’s a little rainy our, and they are dressed in running gear, also a little too matchy matchy. They aren’t running either. Luann is excited to be back in Oalm Beach, they’re going at 130pm that day. Luann asks Tom what he’s thinking for the honeymoon and he says South Africa or someplace warm. Lu gushes about how she loves being on relationships and married, and how in sync she is with Tom. I don’t know guys-I feel like she oversells him and their relationships. It doesn’t feel authentic to me at ALL.

Carole tells Ramona that she’s heard from some of Luann’s friends that she may be having second thoughts-she’s referring to the random suer from last week named Barbara I’m sure-Ramona digs a little deeper wanting to know if someone specific, Carole says yes and she thinks that a conversation needs to happen with Luann because there’s too much going on as far as chatter about Tom and his loyalty.

Tom makes a dumb joke about giving Luann another foot of chain that keeps her on the kitchen. He tells her that she spoils him and he’s gaining weight from all of her cooking. Just watching them I don’t feel any chemistry at all. It just feels forced.

Ramona tells Carole about her friend “Ann”- apparently “Ann” dated Tom once upon a time and it was a fairly intense relationship (according to Ramona) and last week “Ann” ran into Tom and he tried kissing her and groping her. Ramona uses the word “attack” (which I think is reckless and irresponsible given what it implies). Carole asks ” what do you mean attack? Like Trump attack?” Ramona gets annoyed and says she doesn’t believe Trump would do that since he’s a germophobe and she knows him anyway. Mmhmm. She goes on to read a text from “Ann” talking about the kissing incident, “Ann” thinks that Tom and Luann were in a fight and since he’s an insecure dirty dog he needs a lot of attention. “Ann” says Tom is up to his old tricks. Carole and Ramona aren’t so sure that Luann really cares.

Luann picks up dog poop and is calling herself “mommy”. So strange. Tom and Luann continue their walk.

Carole and Ramona debate over telling Luann about Ann and Tom, and wonder if they’re bad friends if they don’t. Carole reminds Ramona that the last time Lu was told she shot the messenger and didn’t take it very well. Ramona thinks they should tell her because there are multiple women and incidents. They decide to bring it to Dorinda.

Dorinda is in the Berkshires decorating and waiting for the ladies to arrive. In order to avoid the disaster that was last year, she has them arriving in groups staggered over the weekend. Sonja and Ramona are first tongwt there, Sonja is glad she was invited but it still doesn’t fix last yet. Get over it lady. Ramona tells Dorinda that she brought Cocoa, her carpet pooping dog-Dorinda is less than happy but Ramona is just kidding. Ha.

Tinsley’s coming as well but is meeting her mom for lunch first.mom brought Tinsley’s Dad along who happens to be ashes in a box. Tinsley’s parents were divorced but it seems that her mother brings his ashes everywhere. Tinsley needs a drink. She reminisces about when she would come back from camp-if she came back thin, her mom was overjoyed to see her. If she came back a little chubbier, her mom was less than thrilled. Tinsley says her mom was a “good southern mom” who was critical of To always appearance so that Tinsley wore blush to school in 4th grade.

Sonja is sort of complaining about Tinsley-says that Tinsley “doesn’t have a bad bone in her body”but she needs “rules”. Sonja is upset that Tinsley isn’t being a good guest by making Sonja a cup of coffee, and not happy that Tinsley isn’t inviting her bar hopping.

Tinsley tells he Mom that she adores Sonja and loving with her, her mom tells her that she hopes she is being appreciative. Tinsley says that she has-originally she had true to give Sonja her space by not inviting her everywhere she went. Mom asks Tinsley if she’s been bringing Sonja treats.

Dorinda say she doesn’t know exactly who Tinsley is yet. She thinks it’s a trust thing, and hopes that eventually Tinsley feels comfortable enough to open up.

Tinsley’s Mom tells her she needs to move out of Sonja’s, that So ha needs her space and Tinsley needs hers. Her mom wants her to have babies and tells her she needs a 50 year old man with no kids. Really weird.

Dorinda gets everyone to decorate her tree but she’s super picky about what goes where and is bossy with the ladies. She also has those big ass bulbs on her tree that I hate.

Carole is hanging out and Christmas shopping with Adams parents. Carole says she always likes meeting her boyfriend’s parents and Adams were no different. Adam wants kids, but it’s not happening with Carole. She’s not sure what that means for their relationship.

Next to arrive at Dorinda’s is Tinsley. Dorinda is happy to see her and gives her a warm welcome. She shows Tinsley to her room-there are weird fake stuffed fish mounted on the walls. Tinsley has a TV in this room, unlike at Sonja’s house. Sonja comes in to the bedroom and makes a crack about it being deja vu having Tinsley there. Sonja asks Tinsley about her lunch but is low key bitchy about it.

The next day is Dorinda’s birthday! Tinsley says good
morning and happy birthday-Tinsley has a bad cold and doesn’t feel well. Dorinda wants to show Tinsley her birthday cake-uh oh! It’s sideways in the box. Not a good sign. Sonja comes in wearing a lacy black lingerie and rolls her eyes at the sideways cake. Dorinda isn’t going to sweat it, she just rolls with it and is going to make the best of it.

Carole and Bethenny are next to arrive, it’s their 3rd trip to the Berks for Dorinda’s birthday and hopefully the 3rd time is the charm. Dorinda got a flower delivery that she thought was for her but it was actually Dennis sending Bethenny flowers. Bethenny is hoping that Ramona just leaves her alone. Bethenny and Carole are in their bedroom whispering about Tom and Luann-they’re worried about Luann and wonder if there’s a way to get her out of this.

Bethenny says it looks like Tom is still cheating and feels like she needs to warn Luann. She thinks that where there’s smoke there’s fire-Carole doesn’t think Bethenny should say anything. Bethenny doesn’t want to be the main person telling her since it worked out so poorly last time, so they agree to put Dorinda up to it. It’s almost an intervention.

Ramona. Tinsley and Sonja are trying to light a fire in the fireplace. They forget to open the flue so smoke pours into the living room. Eventually they work it out. All of the ladies start grilling Dorinda about Luann and where her head is at with Tom. Dorinda says she’s super excited to marry him, not having any sort of second thoughts and the wedding WILL happen. The gossip is repeated, but Dorinda says she hasn’t heard anything at all. Ramona tells Dorinda she’s got it on good authority that Tom is still cheating so she’s bringing it to Dorinda like they had agreed to do. Dorinda hopes that maybe everyone is taking the gossip the wrong way. Luann is so in love with the idea of getting married that she just is not listening. Dorinda doesn’t know when Tom would have the time to cheat and insinuates that Luann is on him 24/7. The rest of the group thinks that Tom is just not a good guy.

Lu arrives-Dorinda tells Ramona she wants her there when she talks to Luann about Tom-Dorinda feels obligated to tell Luann what she’s heard now.

Everyone is decorating Christmas cookies as Luann comes in. She’s talking about her wedding and thinks that everyone’s finally happy for her.

While cleaning up after cookie decorating, Tinsley tells Luann she wants to be out of Sonja’s by February so Sonja will stop picking on her. Luann asks if they aren’t getting along any more as Sonja walks in-Sonja interjects that she’s just “razzing” Tinsley, who overhears that and says no-you talk shit behind my back to everyone. Luann welcomes Tinsley to the club. Tinsley tells Luann that Sonja is constantly making up stories , being rude, and thinks she’s really funny. Sonja busts out with “ask Connor”. Connor is Sonja’s assistant and Tinsley isn’t allowed to speak to him. Sonja says that’s because Tinsley will “make him busy” so he’s not there when Sonja snaps her fingers. Apparently Tinsley asked Connor to answer the door and take a delivery for her if it came. Sonja lost her mind about that and said that Tinsley is “taking advantage of her kindness” and should know better than to ask Sonja’s assistant to do anything. She keeps mentioning that Tinsley grew up wealthy. Sonja is still discussing the situation as Tomsk walks out of the room, Tinsley overhears and comes back to clarify. Sonja starts screaming at Tinsley to take care of her own hats-Ramona says “you can’t do anything right, face it” but I don’t know if that’s directed at Sonja or Tinsley. Sonja is an asshole and I can’t fathom anyone wanting to stay with her. Passive aggressive, bossy and nasty.

Carole asks Bethenny if she plans on talking to Ramona-Bethenny says no, and she’s fine with that. Bethenny thinks Ramona is behaving well not because she thinks she did anything wrong but because she knows she looked bad.

Dorinda pulls Luann aside and says how she promised Luann she would always come direct with her about Tom, and tells her there’s still talk about Tom’s behavior-she asks Luann if she trusts Tom. Luann says of course she does! Big mistake. Dorinda says ok, that’s all she needed-Luann doesn’t care what anyone says, she trusts him and is marrying him. Luann complains about Ramona calling Toms friends in CA, waking them up to grill them for info. Ramona then walks in….to be continued.

Next week: Is Luann in denial? Bethenny is in tears, a toast that Bethenny is all set with, Bethenny and Ramona have a talk, Ramona isn’t a good friend, says Bethenny-Ramona doesn’t take that well.

Talk soon Lovelies

-Allie

RHONY Recap: Bidding In Love

So this is the episode the random was suing over, loose lips must have sunk some friend-ships. We shall see.

Ramona and Avery are shopping-Ramona is pestering Avery to take her coat off.

Sonja and Lu meet for lunch.

Dorinda and Bethenny are shopping. Dorinda is stressed about her upcoming charity event that’s in a few days. Also, Hannah is moving out and Dorinda wants to redo her floors. She’s going to stay in her Upper East Side apartment. Speaking of apartments, Bethenny bought another one in Soho, and it’s gigantic. She’s not sure if she’s going to flip it, or live in it.

Avery tries on Ramona’s sunglasses and deems them “too cool” for Ramona so thinks she should have them. Ramona is all, “What, I can’t be hip?” Saying “hip” right there says no. Avery tells Ramona that she looks like she’s trying too hard. Ramona starts asking advice about Bethenny and Avery says she doesn’t understand the fight. She advises Ramona to talk to Bethenny-Ramona said she did and repeats what she said, a wise Avery says that was a “side attack”. Ramona doesn’t know how-Avery basically tells Ramona that her delivery sucks.

Luann and Sonja are discussing the Bethenny/Ramona tiff. Sonja completely gets why Bethenny was upset because she knows Bethenny well enough to know you don’t come for her business or her child, Ramona went right in for the kid.

Bethenny and Dorinda are discussing Ramona as well-Dorinda says she really wants them to make up but Bethenny has had it with Ramona. She says that Ramona is trying hard to make this all her fault so fine, she’ll be cordial when she sees Ramona, she’s just had enough.

Avery tells Ramona that someone needs to step up and make things less awkward. Ramona thinks she’s ALWAYS the one that has to do that.

Tinsley, Ramona and Sonja are at a bar on the hunt for men. Ramona has invented herself a new drink that is picky and complicated with straws, limes, and a specific glass. She gives Tinsley advice on where to meet men and says the gym and steakhouses are the best places. She sucks on her straw to show Tinsley proper flirting. Gross. As they head over to their table Ramona swings by the kitchen to tell “smells good, guys” then waggles her tongue. Why. They get to the table and Ramona doesn’t have 3 limes, so asks the waitress for more. 3 limes. They begin blatantly ogling men.

Tinsley is making the meat market rounds. Sonja has a plan for Tinsley man-wise but Tinsley isn’t sticking to it-the guy she’s talking to is too young. That’s not in the plan. All 3 women begin to talk about the guy right in front of him. Ramona starts to demonstrate her flirting technique on the guy Tinsley was talking to, then hangs all over him, and Tinsley is embarrassed. Now Sonja sidles up. This is so desperate and needy. Sonja decides she wants to leave but Tinsley wants to stay, so Sonja tells “big mistake” at Tinsley as she’s leaving. Tinsley doesn’t care. His name is Chad, he’s 23, and they’re making out in the bar.

The next morning Tinsley is making coffee and in search of sweetener. Sonja walks into the kitchen instantly shrieking that Tinsley turned on the heat (she didn’t) and killed a big palm leaf. Sonja has no sweetener and tells Tinsley she needs to steal the packets from a restaurant. Sonja is giving Tinsley grief because she has already gotten her hair done at the salon that morning but hasn’t acquired Splenda in the 3 weeks she’s been there. Did Tinsley even come home last night? Sonja doesn’t think so but Tinsley says she did. Sonja is rambling about the list-Tinsley is outta there.

Bethenny is at the Rainbow Room for the Dress For Success annual breakfast. We meet Dennis! He’s tall, bald, and way more handsome than the photos I’ve seen. Bethenny has known him for 30 years, and when he separated from his wife asked Bethenny out. Carole is on her way to the breakfast as well, and she’s on time which is a gift in itself. Bethenny gets a nice intro before her speech and she gets a little reset and emotional during the speech she gives. Carole knows things have been really difficult and emotional after the divorce.

Carole, Adam and friends are going indoor rock climbing. Carole is a scaredy cat, kind of. Adam climbs to the top no problem. Carole isn’t athletic and has no desire to be. She’s giving it a try though and makes it to the top-she does NOT want to rappel down though, so starts to climb. Eventually she’s convinced to let go and just glide down.

After the climb, Carole is hanging out with one of Adam’s friends girlfriends who literally looks 15. They talk about Carole’s apartment and Adam’s apartment hunting which isn’t going well. What I get from the conversation Carole is having with the 15 year old is that she sort of wants to let Adam down but not while he’s living with her. She says it’s “not that relationship” as far as building a life together. Ouch. Expect an announcement.

Tinsley and Chad are on a bowling date. She could not care less about Sonja’s list right now. Chad orders a beer and gets carded. Tinsley does not get carded. You know she felt that. She’s beating him at bowling though and shrieks with every strike. So Chad just moved to NYC, Tinsley says she lives with Sonja so Chad asks how that’s going. Tinsley says she’s not allowed to bring dates home, now Chad’s plans are foiled. Tinsley’s not above sneaking him in though. They start making out. She’s totally sneaking him in.

Ramona is out with her friends Missy and Kathleen. They’re at a bar on a manhunt, because why else? Someone from the bar sends over a round of drinks. Ramona is so obvious on her mission to find a man that she looks pitiful and desperate. Ramona tells her friends how nice it is to be with them and then begins to list the cons of hanging out with the other ladies. So apparently Kathleen dated Tom too-oooo the inevitable Tom tea. So it seems that Kathleen found out that she and Tom broke up when she ran into him and Luann at a bar. No one in NYC seems to have much hope for this marriage. Missy puts a nice spin on Lu’s ostriching by saying she admires Lu for going all in.

Luann is doing a practice run for her wedding makeup. She finally feels like she can enjoy her fiancé and being engaged. Victoria gets her makeup done too (Girl. Those BROWS. They could be fab. Come on). Lu talks about her “flat” in Palm Beach-hello pretension, there aren’t flats here, especially in FL. But go on with your Euro-Connecticut self.

Dorinda and John are going to her holiday charity auction party. The auction includes Carole’s books, a big ole pile of Too Faced makeup, jewelry, etc. Dorinda is donating drinks with Luann, a piece of Sonja’s clothing ( hope she didn’t wash it in the toilet) and a day in the Berkshires with her. Carole has some Charlotte Tilbury products that I would die for, worth $425. Carole greets Dorinda and John-John goes in for the kiss hello but Carole does the artful dodge and kisses Dorinda hello instead. Well played, Radziwill. Dorinda is worried that no one is bidding. Tinsley and Bethenny walk in-Tinsley feels that Bethenny runs hot and cold. Sonja tells “Don’t we live together?” when she sees Tinsley, who asks Sonja why she left without her. Sonja tells her they don’t always have to ride in the same vehicle together. Make up your mind, Needy McClinger. You get mad if Tinsley averts her attention for one second, but treat her like she’s annoying in front of others.

Bethenny has never met opportunist Tom, but she will tonite. Dorinda gets on the mic and makes an announcement about the auction reminding people to bid. Carole and Bethenny are talking about Ramona’s behavior the last time they were all together-speak of the devil, there’s Ramona. Bethenny does an imitation of Ramona that’s pretty hilarious.

Sonja and Ramona are scoping out men as usual. Bethenny thinks she found a man for Sonja but he already knows Sonja. Of course. Bethenny says a super quick hello to Ramona who has a plastic look on her face (Bethenny’s words) and goes on to tell Sonja about Milos, the guy she found for her. Ramona overheard and is now moving in on him. Ruthless, hungry, and thirsty, man. She comes back and Sonja complains that Ramona was flirting with “her guy”. Ramona says she was practicing. Luann and Tom walk over to the group-Tom acts like he doesn’t know Sonja thinking he’s being funny. Way to make awkward more awkward. Luann thanks Bethenny for sticking up for her the other night. Bethenny introduces herself to Tom, right away apologizing for any drama she caused. Luann appreciates that. Tom asks Bethenny what she’s doing for the holidays and she makes a joke about going to their wedding.

Oh oh oh!! Here comes the convo that random lady is suing over! Dorinda threatens to cut off drinks until people bid. Bethenny is selling her donation to Milos so he will bid on it. I bids on the Givenchy bag, more bids are finally coming on. Carole is chatting with Barbara, Luann’s friend aka random suer. As they’re chatting and looking at items on the table, it looks to me like Barbara motions Carole tonthe wns of the table so they’re away from the crowd. Lu’s friend says she is going to the wedding-she’s not excited and feels like Luann has “something to prove”. She says that Luann would rather go through with the wedding and divorce than call it off. Carole says “wow-but what about him?” Barbara the “friend” says that there are still many cheating rumors and that he’s still hanging out at the Regency. She did tell Luann, but, ostriching. Carole says Luann could be making the biggest mistake of her life, and is the great pretender. She says Luann will never let on that there may be trouble.

So that’s why this random was suing. She’s embarrassed and trying to save face. But bullshit. She obviously knew she was being filmed. Tough crapola lady!

Next week: Bethenny and Fredrick make lists. Luann and Tom walk the dog who marks his territory. Christmas at Dorinda’s-a mushed cake, and is Dorinda having second thoughts?

RHONY Recap: Wishful Invitation

This weeks episode starts with some quick clips of various housewives with their pets. Tinsley is picking up poop, Carole babies her Babys, etc.

Bethenny is at a restaurant waiting for Sonja who is late despite living literally right around the corner. Sonja’s reason is that she was early so went for a manicure. The waiter gives Bethenny a blank menu accidentally and she and Sonja both have a laugh. Sonja says she’s still purging her house and her mind, and it’s going well. Bethenny asks how Ramona’s surprise party went. Sonja reports that it was “so very nice, lots of food, so very nice”. She mentions how nice Dorinda is being to her. Sonja tells Bethenny about the conversation she had with Ramona out on the balcony, and says that Ramona is incapable of an emotionally mature conversation and won’t admit wrongdoing. Holy insight, Sonja-not drinking is doing her brain function good. Sonja tells Bethenny that she completely understands why Bethenny was upset. Bethenny says that Ramona didn’t care about Brynn, she was just trying to shame Bethenny. Sonja says how Ramona is dating a lot of random guys, then complains how all of the girls date “her men” and lists men she and the other women have dated: Harry, Pirate, Tom. Bethenny calls her a “curator of cock”.

Dorinda is in the Berkshires to have a memorial service for Richard, it’s the 5 year anniversary of his passing. She’s at the cemetery with her family-she says she didn’t invite John because the people there are the family that was, and he understands. Except that Carole is there. Laryngitis and all. Dorinda introduces her to her family-Richard’s 2 oldest children aren’t there though. Hannah reads some words she wrote about Richard while she was doing her contour. She says how devastating it was to lose him and that he made her who she is today. Dorinda is impressed, and says something as well-she still loves him and misses him every day. Everyone says their goodbyes and heads back to Dorinda’s for lunch.

Bethenny is sitting and organizing Brynn’s room. She thinks Brynn may be a glittery girly hoarder. She’s looking for a space for all of Brynn’s American Girl dolls, she’s thinking of buying a bigger apartment. Not for the dolls, just in general.

At Dorinda’s the family has gathered for a post memorial lunch. Carole is chatting with Dorinda’s parents who have been married for 57 years. Hannah tells a story about Richard-when she was young she said she was going to the bodega for a pack of gum and Richard gave her 100$ bill. They all laugh and say that’s typical Richard-always giving his money away. Homeless people used to wait for him outside of church and the deli because they knew he’d be throwing cash around. Dorinda said she had to give him a “fake ATM card” or else he’d give everything away. He was generous. Got it. Dorinda then gives Carole a tour of the property.

Sonja is giving Tinsley kitchen rules. Tinsley is so over this-she’s really not sure what the rules are. Sonja thinks that Tinsley is “clueless” about things because she grew up with hired help. Tinsley doesn’t want to wear out her welcome and feels like it might be time to move out. Sonja has brown ice in her freezer-eww-and says it used to be yellow til Tinsley moved in. Apparently Sonja blames everything on Tinsley. They start throwing ice at each other playfully-ice fight!

Lu is having Dorinda and the rest of her bridal party get together to try on their wedding attire. Lu hasn’t ever worn a wedding dress and she says she’s got a right to. I agree-let her wear whatever she feels beautiful in. Out Lu comes in her wedding gown-it’s simple, classy, and pretty. She looks so happy and glowy. Dorinda tries her bridesmaid dress on-it’s a blush pink and very flattering. Lu’s got her sisters there as well as the dress designer.

Tinsley is walking with her friend and her friends dog-the dog is on a remote control power wheels jeep type thing because it’s obviously cooler than pushing the dog in a stroller. Duh. The jeep keeps crashing. Tinsley tells her friend (who’s name I didn’t get, but I don’t care because she was so extra and trying way too hard)that she needs to find an apartment like, now. Friend goes on a tangent against the Upper East Side like it’s a 3rd world country. She has Tinsley drive the dog. This scene is so dumb.

Bethenny is hanging out at Carole’s and the shredded couch is even worse. Lawdy. Carole covers it and Bethenny asks how Thanksgiving was-Carole and Adam were on each other’s nerves so they really need space and separate apartments. She’s been encouraging Adam to find his own place. It’s kind of like they’re having a 2 year itch. Bethenny had a stressful holiday-Carole asks about the Jason situation. Bethenny says she’s tired but has got to deal with it. Things are escalating-Carole says she’s witnessed some beyond bizarre behavior on his end and she’s concerned. Dorinda is trying to get everyone together for drinks-Bethenny is in.

Ramona is alone in her apartment singing “I had a birthday, I had a party” and tells her dog it can’t come with her to Vegas. She calls Dorinda to thank her for throwing her the surprise party. Ramona doesn’t understand why Bethenny didn’t show up. She says Bethenny isn’t a true friend and that it’s sad Bethenny didn’t call or drop by.

Bethenny tells Carole that she’s got zero to say regarding the Ramona situation. Carole says that Ramona knows Bethenny was upset with her. Bethenny just wants Ramona to leave her alone.

Dorinda’s get together is happening-she and Luann meet up with Carole who’s already ordered food. Ramona knows that Bethenny will be there and she plans on using a less confrontational approach with her. Lu is glad that the tension with her and Carole is gone. Bethenny arrives and is in a good mood. Dorinda is talking about Luann’s wedding and how she tried on her bridesmaid dress but no one took pics. Ramona starts messing with Luann over not being invited to her wedding in typical selfish, mannerless rude Ramona style. She’s going on and on asking where her invitation is and why wasn’t she sent one even though she wasn’t going to go. Bethenny calls it a mind game-“I don’t want to go but I want you to invite me”, says it’s manipulative and childish (which it is). But Rudemona isn’t done, no-she tells Lu that people are still placing bets on whether the wedding will happen or not. She claims that people are calling her asking if they should go through with their
travel plans for the wedding. Luann has no words, Bethenny tells Ramona that she’s not being nice. Bethenny says Ramona is an asshole, and that was an asshole thing to say. Truth. Ramona then toasts to the wedding and tells Lu how happy she is for her.

Tinsley and Sonja arrive and Sonja immediately makes things weird by announcing that she isn’t with Tinsley and Tinsley is on her own with her own friends. She passive aggressively says she doesn’t want to be a tag along. Carole asks Tinsley if she plans in staying in NYC which she is, and asks how it is living with Sonja. Tinsley diplomatically says good, but they had a little fight that morning. Carole reveals that the reason she’s asking is because she’s on the board at her apartment building and there are 2 empty apartments.Tinsley’ eyes light up and she’s very interested. Sonja, Luann, Ramona and Dorinda are in a group by the bar, when Sonja lets out a silent but deadly fart. Wait what? I guess that’s a thing she does.

Carole is showing cat videos that Adam took of Baby. Tinsley said she tattooed her pets name on her wrist-Carole says at least it wasn’t her husband’s name! Tinsley says that oh, she did that too-his initials are on her hip. Carole asks about Tinsley’s history with Topper-they were high school sweethearts that eloped because Andrea on 90210 did, but they had it annulled and got really married years later.

Ramona is off with Luann shit talking Bethenny-Ramona still doesn’t get it and asks “what did I do?”-she really has zero insight. She calls Bethenny a loose cannon. Luann makes her exit to go meet Tom. Bethenny says she’s going to leave, but Ramona slides into the seat next to her.

Ramona tries this weird, lecture-y, talking down to Bethenny approach, it’s not working. She’s talking to Bethenny like Bethenny is really slow-I’m not even sure what she’s trying to say-something about being concerned friends. Bethenny tells Ramona she doesn’t like the way Rudemona is speaking to her, Ramona doesn’t know what that means, so Bethenny elaborates and says she doesn’t want to be schooled by Ramona and doesn’t like the way she’s being spoken to. Ramona starts with the eyes closed while speaking crap and says “you’re really weird”. Ramona continues to defend her shaming Bethenny by saying she spoke to her out of concern (bullshit, already) and says she was SHOCKED-Bethenny says she’s just gonna go now but Ramona keeps going. Bethenny tells Ramona that she is not very self aware (truth) and Ramona says “waaaaoooooowwwwwww”. Ramona won’t let it go and is practically holding Bethenny hostage by not moving so Bethenny can get up. Bethenny is actually being very patient and polite, Ramona looks crazy. She continues to berate Bethenny who has finally had it, gets up and squeezes by Ramona to leave. Ramona stands up and caws like a crow to Bethenny’s back-she’s got to be off her meds.

Ramona sits down next to Carole and starts rubbing her face on Carole’s saying in a sing song voice “I don’t talk well! I have a bad way of talking!” and Carole is just like-help. Ramona starts badmouthing Bethenny and Carole tries to shut it down. Rudemona keeps going, says that Bethenny is like a wild dog-Tinsley sticks up for Bethenny and tells Ramona “um, so are you!” Ramona goes on to heap praise on herself and how she’s got no stinger. She’s got a huge heart, she’s the most amazing friend, and goes on to take a poll over whether or not she’s got the biggest heart in the world. Tinsley is forced into agreeing-everyone bails. Dorinda thinks something is up with Ramona. Ya think?

Next week: Bethenny has had it with Ramona, Avery gives a close-eyed Ramona advice on awkwardness, Tinsley makes out, we meet Dennis, Carole climbs the walls.

Talk soon, Lovelies

-Allie

RHONY Recap: The Etiquette Of Friendship

Here it is! I’ve been waiting all week to see Dorinda hand Sonja her ass on a platter! Let’s hope it’s worth the wait…

We pick up with Ramona greeting her guests, Sonja arrives with Tinsley. Sonja gives Ramona a candle, Tinsley is nervous about meeting Dorinda and it’s not just the intimidation factor, but what if they really hit it off and she likes Dorinda? Quelle Horreur! Sonja and Tinsley make the rounds socializing, and Tinsley finally comes face to face with Dorinda. Sonja is not so discreetly watching from the side. Tinsley tells Dorinda that she is Sonja’s current roomie and Dorinda wishes her luck. Tinsley keeps up the nervous chatter, and Dorinda’s talking head says that nothing is free with Sonja. Dorinda asks Tinsley why she moved from Palm Beach, and Tinsley says a bad relationship, and mentions her arrest. Dorinda reassures her that everyone in that room has fucked up and not to be so hard on herself. Tinsley feels like she has to bring up her arrest all the time, which I get-you feel like if you’re talking about it it’s not so hurtful when someone else does.

Carole rehashes the previous night’s dinner disaster to Sonja and talks about how Ramona went for Bethenny’s jugular with the “soft porn” and Brynn. Sonja says she heard about the movie and it wasn’t so bad, and uses her daughter as an example of how hard it is to embarrass your kids, look at what Sonja does. However- dollars to donuts Sonja’s daughter is mortified by her mother’s antics.

Luann joins the Tinsley and Dorinda convo, and realizes that Tinsley isn’t in the “bridal room” as Lu calls it (dumb) but is staying in Sonja’s daughter’s room which is beyond weird to me.

Lu asks Carole about her election party, Carole really doesn’t want Ramona there but isnt sure how to tell her. She might not even have to, Ramona may not even go.

“Dinner is served” shrieks Ramona. It’s a buffet style dinner that Ramona insists she cooked but Dorinda doesn’t believe it and neither do I. There’s an empty seat between Sonja and Dorinda which is good because it’s goin’ DOWN. Sonja breaks the ice and says hello to Dorinda, the usual oh you look so gorgeous, I didn’t see you earlier (lie). Dorinda gives a chilly response-Sonja says that she’s seen Lu and Dorinda walking around town-Dorinda tells her she’s been staying at Ramona’s house (that’s why you aren’t, Sonja) and makes it a point to say she has to split her time between Lu and Ramona because her time is in high demand. Sonja says “that used to be me but oh well”. Dorinda is winding up-I can see it and she’s about to swing. Sonja says that she can see Dorinda and Lu from her house, Dorinda asks if she’s called anyone to report it-awww shit… 3…2…1 Dorinda blows.

Dorinda says that they’re going to discuss the elephant RIGHT NOW, shut your mouth. Luann is sending a death glare to Sonja-she’s not on your side, dear. Carole isn’t gonna save you either. And in Dorinda goes. Sonja wants to know what she said, Dorinda says it’s more like what didn’t you say. Sonja challenges Dorinda with ” what are you gonna do, back it up?” Oh-yep. That’s exactly what she’s gonna do. She tells Sonja to “stop the vaginal rejuvenation because your vagina should have an EZ pass on it with your Holland Tunnel. Turnstile and ticket!!” Oh damn. Sonja looks like she wants to crawl under the table, keeps looking at different guests and just raising her eyebrows. But Dorinda isn’t done-oh no. She goes on to tell Sonja that everything she does has failed-Lu tries to intervene but Dorinda shuts her down. Carole is just piling food into her face to hide her smirk and not have to say anything. Ramona comes over and sits in the middle of the 2, and tries to shush Dorinda who is on a roll. Dorinda asks something about taking pictures. Ramona expected a blowout but had sort of hoped it would’ve waited til dessert.

Dorinda wants to know if Sonja enjoyed “doggy styling” the male strippers at Lu’s shower, Sonja says she did-Dorinda says if that’s Sonja sober, she’d hate to see her drunk. Talking head Sonja is embarrassed and says that this is not how one acts at a dinner party. Thank you, Miss Manners.

Tinsley, being brave, tries to stick up for Sonja to no avail. The Dorinda Rage Train has left the station and the engineer is sleeping with his foot on the gas. Sonja tells Tinsley she doesn’t care, she’s been badmouthed over and over. Lu explains to Sonja that a blogger came out with negative quotes from Sonja about the wedding, Dorinda, etc. Sonja denies it, rather dismissively and very unconvincingly. She then busts out with how she booked a trip to Thailand when she was still dating Tom-cue eyeroll from Luann-then says she’d never miss the wedding. Dorinda reminds her how not invited she is but Sonja insists she’s invited to the wedding despite Lu shaking her head no. Dorinda tells Sonja to shut up because this is the beginning of the end. Dorinda then, weirdly, tells Sonja to get a bag of cucumber and bananas-Carole tells her to knock it off, Dorinda agrees that was jr high. Sonja starts yelling and tells them to talk to her instead of reading the newspaper, yells about her off Broadway play to which Dorinda spits “it was disgusting”, Sonja namedrops some guy she says didn’t think it was disgusting and Tinsley gives a weak “it wasn’t disgusting, it was very nice!”

Some random named Glenn taps his glass to give a toast, trying to distract everyone from the show at the other end of the table. He toasts wonderful Ramona. Sonja talks over him the whole time.

Carole brings up the election so Dorinda throws in that Sonja worked for Trump as a consultant. Carole is all wait what? Sonja gets to talk about her favorite topic, Sonja, and says she was a “brand consultant for Trump Luxury Brands” but it’s all Charlie Brown’s teacher to me. It’s just more of Sonja’s ego overstating what she really did, if anything.

Dorinda is telling Tinsley that Sonja slandered her family and is getting really intense. Tread lightly, Tinsley. Tinsley makes a comment about not really knowing if it’s true, but Carole and Dorinda both tell her oh, it’s true (that Sonja has been
shit talking). Tinsley feels like this may not be the time or the place so she is wisely backing off. Dorinda calls Sonja a liar and a fraud and tells her to fix her toilet. What? Dorinda leaves the table and Ramona’s friend, FrankenNancy says how mean that all was. Carole and and Sonja are still at the table and Carole tries to explain to Sonja why Dorinda is so upset but Sonja, with all of her insight, says ” that’s bizarro”. Tinsley tries again to defend Sonja by saying she was hurt too, and Carole says what we are all thinking and that’s Sonja didn’t get invited to the Berkshires, it was one night, BFD. Tinsley is realizing that Sonja may not have given the entire story and this whole thing is not as one sided as she wanted Tinsley to believe.

Everyone is back at the table, there’s a ton of yelling, Lu says something about people busting into her room, then people are yelling “stirring the pot!!!” at Sonja-during all of this Bethenny pulls up to get Carole, and it seems that she can hear the yelling from her car. Bethenny calls Carole as Dorinda is yelling at Sonja calling her a disgusting pathetic delusional fool-lots of yelling. Carole tells Bethenny that the shit’s going down (Dorinda is now yelling “Fraud” over and over) finally Ramona pulls Sonja out of the room. Dorinda goes to follow but Lu calls her back to sit with her and Tinsley. Luann puts Tinsley on the spot, asking what Sonja says about them. Come ON, Countess of Etiquette. Tinsley says that Sonja knew she carried the grudge for too long and wanted to end it. Dorinda says “yeah right” and Lu asks for dessert.

Ramona hugs Sonja, who says that she thinks that Dorinda needed to vent because she hadn’t seen Sonja for a while. Carole tells Bethenny she will be out in 10 minutes, she just needs to talk to Ramona to make sure she’s not coming to the election party. She tells Ramona she knows that she wasn’t coming anyway, but MONKEY WRENCH Ramona says oh, I’m coming. Carole says no, Ramona says yes, and they do that for a minute, until Carole tells Ramona she doesn’t think it’s a good idea for her to show up. Ramona starts to have a big fit because is Carole disinviting her. I love Carole but this wasn’t her personal election and the elitist attitude about who’s informed and who isn’t and only wanting informed ppl there is not flattering. While yes, Carole is very informed, she’s far from unbiased. Ramona kicks up the immaturity a few notches by saying to Sonja and Carole “fine! You’re not my friend and you’re not my friend.” All she needed was a foot stomp and door slam to complete the look.

Dorinda is bitching to Candace Bushnell about Sonja and Carole finally makes a break for it. Ramona brings out a bday cake for all November birthdays (ohhhhkayyy) and yells an inclusion for Bethenny, who’s driving the hell outta there.

At Luann’s her brunch is underway, she’s got Ramona, Dorinda and Candice Bushnell over. Dorinda says she feels good about the way things went down the night before with Sonja.

Tinsley and Sonja are discussing the previous evening-Sonja doesn’t need mud slinging y’all-

Dorinda says there was no more interaction between her and Sonja after all that. She said what she had to. Ramona is on the background bringing up Bethenny’s name-why?

Ramona is back to dwelling on Bethenny and the fact she didn’t come to her party and isn’t at the brunch-she’s using it as an example of Bethenny’s grudge-holding. But wait-how’s it a grudge? She then makes a shitty comment about Carole and thinks Carole “disinvited” her on Bethenny’s behalf, but really it’s just that she’s not informed enough. Ramona is still going on, and says “Who does that? Who disinvites someone?” Flashback to Ramona disinviting Sonja. The convo goes back to Dorinda not regretting her freak out. Lu keeps telling her she’s too “elegant” for that, Dorinda tells Lu to knock it off, she’s seen Lu get upset too, enough is enough.

Tinsley and Sonja are leaving the house in matching hats for Ramona’s brunch. Sonja wants to talk to Dorinda because she knows Dorinda didn’t mean a word of that. They don’t ring the bell or knock, just walk in, and that makes the eavesdropping they do even easier. Sonja whispers “see? They’re talking about us!” When the discussion turns to Tinsley and that they all like her, Sonja kind of pushes Tinsley ahead. Sonja marches over to Dorinda and hugs her. All is well with them now.

Dorinda is glad that the argument is over-now Lu wants to show off her new addition. They’re all in Lu’s new bedroom and Sonja says how happy she is for Lu. Luann gets almost in her face and says “really? Are you?” Sonja says she is always happy for Lu but Lu is always mad at her. Lu is shocked. She’s letting it slide but doesn’t think it’ll last.

Sonja makes some backhanded comment about being there for Luann even though Lu dates her boyfriends and dumps her at parties. She just wants Luann to be there for her a little more, ok? Sonja still insists she’s invited to Luann’s wedding. It’s so weird, Ramona thinks so too. Luann makes a toast to friendship and happiness.

Dorinda, Luann and Tinsley are getting together for dinner. Lu and Dorinda are wearing the same outfit. Dorinda is throwing a surprise party for Ramona’s 60th birthday and hopes it stays surprise. Tinsley is glad that Dorinda and Sonja made up. Dorinda goes on to explain how before they all had algebra friendships ( A doesn’t like B so C doesn’t talk to D) and is glad that’s over as well. Tinsley is worried that Sonja might be mad if she becomes friends with the others yet she didn’t invite or tell Sonja about this dinner. Now, y’all KNOW how Sonja gets when she’s not included. Bitter and grudge-y. And real talky with the blogs.

Tinsley is spilling the beans about Sonja’s dating life, she calls the guy Frenchie. We get to see Sonja go through her underwear on the bathroom floor. Her towels are all monogrammed STAM so there’s no mistaking who’s toilet you’re crapping in. STAM. Sonja proceeds to wash her lingerie in the bidet. She’s a Francophile y’all, so she’s dating Frenchie. And washing her lingerie in the bidet.

Back to the dinner, Lu is planning Toms birthday and she’s going to have a mariachi band. How different and exciting. Tinsley needs to go back to Palm Beach to tie up her legal ends, have her court case disposed of, and be done with the nightmare. Dorinda wants to know if she has a mugshot. Duh. And she’s got some sharp ass brows in that pic. Tinsley thinks no one will want to date her after this but Dorinda and Lu reassure her that she will have noooooo problem in NYC.

Dorinda visits John at work and brings him a healthy lunch. Hannah is moving out and John thinks he’ll be able to drop by on a whim- not so fast bucko.

Bethenny drops by Carole’s house, and all of Carole’s pets are named “Baby”. Bethenny muses that Carole can write a bestselling novel, but can’t think of 3 pet names. Carole and Adam are “shacking up” but he’s still looking for another apt for himself. Bethenny asks why don’t they just stay living together? Carole says they both need alone time. Carole asks how things are with Jason, Bethenny says they’re horrible but she wants to fix it, and when Ramona pulled her soft porn/ Brynn crap, Bethenny ran out of I Forgive Yous. I can’t blame her.

Sonja is holding her assistant captive and making him listen to her bitch about Tinsley hanging out with Dorinda and Lu, and as predicted, jealousy has arrived. She’s playing the possessive friend game “they were MINE FIRST”. Connor the assistant could care less. Sonja namedrops the owner of the restaurant that Dorinda, Lu and Tinsley were at and says he’s her best friend, of course she’s going to hear about it. As she goes on, Tinsley gets home and overhears her. She hears Sonja complaining about her and is shocked.

Tinsley sweeps into the kitchen and confronts Sonja, saying “I just heard you bitching”. Sonja rolls her eyes and tells Tinsley that she can’t possibly know the same people Sonja does-but Tinsley says she’s known them since her Palm Beach days. She tells Sonja that she doesn’t have many close friends in NYC, so if she wants to claim someone as a friend, back off. Sonja as usual is all about Sonja and turns it in to her being butthurt because Tinsley never invites her along when she leaves the house. Oh and by the way, Tinsley isn’t allowed to bring a date home. Tinsley is a grown adult and Sonja’s rules suck. I get not wanting her to have a date in her daughters bedroom-so why didn’t she put her up in Lu’s old room? Or the “bridal room”? Because she wants to control Tinsley. After telling Tinsley she’s not allowed male company, Sonja humps her dog.

Next week: Carole’s election party and subsequent devastation, Sonja gets stroked, Carole spills the beans, Ramona and Sonja disagree.

Talk soon Lovelies

-Allie

RHONY Recap: A New Low

I’m back with the recaps!! Didja miss me?

Sonja and her new pet Tinsley are babbling about their Louis Vuitton bags, it’s making my eyes cross.

Luann is back at her Hamptons house and boy, did she miss it. She’s showing Dorinda around and the highlight of the tour is her creepy toilet with a self-lifting lid, and it washes you back and front. Um-Noe.

Bethenny and Carole are at Bethenny’s Hamptons house-apparently Sonja is frantically texting Bethenny with nastiness about Dorinda and Luann. Carole and Bethenny can’t believe that Sonja isn’t over The Great Un-Invite, and neither can anyone else.

In NYC, Sonja is shit-talking Luann to Tinsley yet still manages to boast about herself in the midst of shit-talking: that’s a feat. This must be the season of Sonja not getting over anything. Tinsley offers a sage nugget saying if Sonja and Luann want to salvage their friendship, Sonja HAS to drop the Tom thing. For real.

Back at Luann’s, Lu offers her daughter Victoria some wine, making sure to slip in that she’s almost 22. This is the DWI daughter, incidentally. Bet someone in NY is cringing. Lu is going over Sonja’s mad hatter party for Dorinda and Victoria’s benefit-Dorinda makes it a point to show how little she cares that she wasn’t invited by faking tears and distress. Lu reports that Sonja has a new roommate/houseguest/pet named Tinsley Mortimer. Dorinda says “yeah, I’ve heard of her” then asks if she’ll be interning. Lu hopes that she left some good wedding karma in the spare bedroom-maybe Tinsley will find a Prince like Tom! I hope not. Dorinda questions Sonja’s alleged sobriety and shows photos of Sonja in less than ladylike positions from Lu’s bridal shower. You know-strippers humping her on the floor doggy style-as one dies at a bridal shower. Dorinda thinks that Sonja is jealous of Dorinda’s contentment, relationship, and stability. Nope! She’s made you stole Tom from her and gave him to Lu, dummy!! GOD! Lu warns Dorinda that Sonja will most likely be at Ramona’s dinner, but Dorinda’s plan is to kill her with kindness.

Back to Sonja and Tinsley-Sonja says she’s not nervous about seeing Dorinda. In fact, she plans on saying hello, even. She’s now regretting excluding Dorinda from the mad hatter party. She doesn’t want to be “that” person. Too late!

Tinsley is at a loss as to what to pack for the weekend. Sonja wants to give away lingerie-undies, specifically. Hey-Erika?! But EW?!? What?!! I don’t care if they’re Dior. They are used, ugly as hell granny panties. And USED. Tinsley throws them to the ground. Now Sonja wants to see Tinsley’s underwear.

Carole is suffering from election stress, and Bethenny is talking dinner plans. She goes over the guest list and sneaks Lu’s name in. Carole is having an election party-she had invited Ramona but that’s up in the air right now. Bethenny tells Carole she needs to relax. A day drink, perhaps.

Lu, Dorinda and Victori are off on a boat ride driven by Lu. Luann says that people “love” calling her the Countess (no where near as much as she does) and once a Countess, always a Countess. Man, these Connecticut women get so pretentious. Sonja’s arrival is the next topic of discussion and Dorinda asks Luann to stick by her just in case Sonja acts up. Lu reassures her that she always defends her houseguests. Ohhhkay. Friends- maybe. Houseguests-always.

Bethenny and Carole are at an acupuncture appointment. Bethenny is really surprised at how stressed out Carole is and asks why she just doesn’t go to work for Hillary. Bethenny is loving those needles sticking in her skin but Carole is nervous. This Dr can tell from her tongue that her liver or some organ isn’t happy. Carole wants to know what the toe fungus she has means. Perhaps that you need an antifungal? Just a guess. This Dr has no answer. Adam now knows she has toe fungus. Carole is empathetic to Bethenny because she knows that she is still having issues with Jason. Bethenny says that having the divorce and apartment resolved helps and she’s managing her stress with cupping and acupuncture. Whatever gets you through. Bethenny is sort of dreading seeing Luann and wonders if she will bring up the Florida thing. Carole doesn’t think so. Bethenny says they have got to get to the restaurant first so that she and Carole can sit next to each other.

Dinner time! Carole and Bethenny do arrive first. The owner greets them and Carole thought he looked like Ramona’s “fake business” partner (and Sonja’s current) but they aren’t the same person. This guy is legit. Ramona arrives and says her hellos. She just got back from a function at Avery’s college and is VERY proud of the fact that the kids see her as a peer and not someone’s mother. She shows Carole and Bethenny pics-and right away I can tell Ramona has a huge chip on her shoulder with Bethenny and an agenda. Bethenny didn’t compliment her fast enough so she got an edge with Bethenny, and so it begins.

Next to join are Dorinda and Lu. Dorinda is anxious about it because she hasn’t seen Bethenny since early summer. Dorinda and Carole are talking election, Bethenny asks Lu about the addition on her house and Luann says it’s coming along, then invites them all to a late breakfast to see the progress. Ramona starts to say why she may not go to Carole’s election party-Dorinda says if Trump wins she will tell Hannah to start stripping. Bethenny tells Ramona that Carole doesn’t want uninformed people at her party-Ramona rolls her eyes and says she is very informed. She reads articles! She has a stack like this! She says everyone interprets things differently and Bethenny agrees. Ramona says she would like to stop in at the party, she’ll see.

Now Ramona is moving in for the kill. She asks Bethenny how old Brynn is now and does she go to private school (6 and no) then slides in to someone showing Avery an article about nude photos Alex McCord posed for and an elementary school aged Avery called Ramona “appalled”. Bethenny is confused as to where Ramona is going with this-then the shade comes down with Ramona causally wondering if anyone has approached 6 year old Brynn about Bethenny’s “soft porn” past. Ramona is so judgemental. Lu is confused as well, Dorinda is horrified. Ramona brings up the 2 dogs Bethenny got and had the nerve to not notify her about-Bethany is incredulous. Ramona looks so stupid right now. She’s hammering at Bethenny but Bethenny is handling it pretty well. Better than I would have. I’d have bitchslapped Ramona with a French fry by now. Bethenny says she doesn’t regret it-she wanted to be an actress, she needed the money, and she laughs about it now, but Ramona is trying super hard to shame her and getting frustrated because it’s not working. Now Ramona feels attacked-because Bethenny isn’t upset? Ramona is so extra. So a defeated Ramona tries a new approach in talking to Lu about Bethenny right in front of Bethenny. She keeps doing that weird thing that I hate, and that’s talking with her eyes closed-another weird Ramona affect. Dorinda tells Bethenny to not even acknowledge it.

Lu and Ramona continue to talk about Bethenny like she’s not sitting right across from them. Finally she’s like “um, hello, right here, I hear you” and still incredulous. The 3 of them start a stupid back and forth about etiquette and who was talking to who (whom?-now the Countess is getting involved and nasty. Ramona is giving Bethenny some weird facial expression (runway, anyone?) and Bethenny asks what it’s about, Halloween? Ramona has decided that Bethenny’s attitude is unacceptable and she doesn’t like it. She claims she was just trying to make conversation about what was going on in Bethenny’s life. Oh-is that what that was? Dorinda is sweaty and no longer hungry. She thinks Ramona’s delivery sucks. Ramona is really off-what is wrong with her? She calls Bethenny stupid, then Luann jumps in. Bethenny says she doesn’t care what they think of her, Luann says “you only care about yourself”. I just feel like it was an unfair gang-up and sneak attack. I know the Bethenny haters will love it-but to come for her via her daughter is slimy, even for Ramona. Luann is bent because Bethenny never asks about her wedding plans. Hint:she thinks you’re marrying a cheater, and odds are if Bethenny asked Luann the status of her wedding plans, Luann would bring up Florida. It’s a no win. Bethenny has had it, she’s leaving. Lu mocks her for leaving and said how she stayed in the Berkshires (she did storm outside, but whatevs).

Sonja and Tinsley have arrived at Sonja’s friends Hamptons house. They’ve both got a ton of luggage-Tinsley’s room is on the first floor right outside the front door. Her room is cute-small, but cute and she says it’s “chic” about 8 times. Sonja humps the bed to show it doesn’t squeak.

Ramona is at a winery meeting Dorinda and Luann for lunch. Ramona gives a very sanitized version that favors her of the previous night’s happenings. Dorinda joins in on the Bethenny bashing, which is a different tune from the night before.

Bethenny is obviously not going to Ramona’s dinner party. She has a gift for her but Carole can deliver it since she’s still going.

Luann is complaining that Dorinda woke her up at 7am-but that was because Dorinda got woken up at 7am with info on all the nastiness Sonja has been spewing on Facebook. Dorinda isn’t having it-she’s going to see Sonja tonight and it’s ON.

Sober Sonja with a glass of wine tells Tinsley that Dorinda is fine, she just did one bad by “excising me from the group”. Tinsley is nervous to meet Dorinda. Sonja says she’s movec on (since when?) and it’ll be good to clear the air tonite. (Phil Collins “In the Air Tonite” drums playing).

Ramona is prepping for her dinner party.Guests are arriving, including her friend Nancy, who has had a bad run in with a drunk plastic surgeon, it looks like. Yowsa. Dorinda is showing Ramona more Sonja crap that’s been unearthed.

Dorinda lets Ramona know that Bethenny is sitting this one out. Carole is already there, Sonja sits with her and lets her know that Sonja has it coming. She tells Carole that one of Richard’s friends is a mole and sends her all sorts of info, she’s got a file this thick. Carole is all-FBI??! Dorinda says noooooo.
Carole is intrigued. Dorinda plans on staying sober to “stalk her prey”.

As Sonja’s car pulls up to Ramona’s she’s still bitching to Tinsley about not being invited to stay there. Ohhh Sonja. That’s the least of your problems tonite.

Next week: Dinner is served. It’s the beginning of the end? Bethenny is a peeper. Dorinda hors in. Tinsley goes out….behind Sonja’s back.

Talk soon, Lovelies

-Allie

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RHOBH Recap: Big Buddha Brawl


We pick up where we left off with Erika having a go at Dorit, who says she doesn’t want to make an effort any more. Erika calls her out for her neediness and always needing confirmation that Erika likes her. Erika tells her if she wanted her attention, she’s got it. Dorit denies it, and tells Erika that she’s not nice or interesting. Hmmm-has Erika touched a nerve? She thinks so. LVP tries to defend Dorit (this entire time Kyle and LVP have been watching this back and forth like a tennis match) and here it comes…wait for it…the real reason for everything…pantygate. Erika asks Dorit how she could like her after the whole underwear thing? Dorit is sitting there with her mouth hanging open (get used to it, she does that most of the episode) and shocked. Erika feels that Dorit took something that was just a moment and ran with it, making it about getting PK’s attention. Dorit still has her mouth hanging open. She then wonders what Erika expects, wearing a short dress and not crossing her legs. Rinna tries to defend Erika, and Dorit sort of backpeddles saying she’s not making the short dress/uncrossed legs an issue but she’s super passive-aggressive with that. Erika points out that she doesn’t find being talked about and made fun of very fun.


Dorit says had she known it hurt Erika’s feelings she would have apologized so Erika says, “well, it hurt my feelings.” Dorit doesn’t apologize. Erika just wants Dorit to stop talking about her, so Dorit is like nooooo problem. But Rinna’s sixth sense is speaking to her and she wants to know what’s REALLY going on-why can’t Dorit just apologize? Dorit says fine, but she’s not apologizing for PK staring because he’s a man with a pulse and can’t be blamed. She then blames all of the ladies for making it a big deal and Rinna isn’t having THAT so she stands up and goes off-Dorit calls that “in my face” and tells her to never do that again. Rinna flips her off as she sits back down. Dorit tells her she’s got no class but Rinna doesn’t care. Eileen tells Dorit that she was ok until she lumped the ladies all in one group and put the blame on them. Eileen reminds Dorit that she told her that Erika’s feelings were hurt. Dorit says she never tried to defame Erika, make her look bad or hurt her feelings-and Erika tells her “well, you did all 3.”


Erika can’t get off the junk boat fast enough. LVP follows her to tell her that she doesn’t always have to be OK-Erika is crying and Kyle dabs her tears. Eileen goes to hug Erika and Erika says “don’t hug me”-I get that, if you’re on the edge of being really upset and someone hugs you that can be the nudge that sets you over the edge. Erika is working really hard to keep it together-the other women are unsure how to handle this so are sort of cautiously circling. Erika says she just wants to go chill out.


In the car in the way back to the hotel, Erika tells Eden, Rinna and Eileen that those were tears of frustration.


The group of 3 women are walking back to the hotel. Dorit tells LVP and Kyle that all the people that Erika pays to tell her how fabulous she is, it must be going to her head. LVP wishes Erika had just said all along she was still upset, and why does she have such a wall up? Kyle says you don’t know how people were raised or how their childhoods may have been. Dorit says that she’s given Erika many chances to open up to her.

In the car, Eileen says that Dorit should have just apologized. Erika says “you have to mean it”.

Back in the hotel room, Eden is finally taking that God awful wig off, Erika apologizes for getting so upset. Eileen is sitting next to Erika and comforting her-Erika thanks Eileen for being so supportive, and leans her head on Eileen’s shoulder.

The next morning Dorit is on the phone with PK and says it’s killing her being away from her family. She rehashes the confrontation with Erika, and says that Erika is “diluted”. PK tries to analyze Erika and Dorit reassured PK there’s nothing she can’t handle because she’s given birth twice.

The ladies all gather in the hotel for breakfast and to go see Big Buddha.  They’re all going to see sacred Oxen and the biggest Buddha in Hong Kong. Erika and Dorit don’t speak at all.

The sky gondolas have glass bottoms  (which I’m sure are beautiful but with a paralyzingly fear of heights that’s a big pile of nope for me) and LVP is teasing Kyle and Dorit who are being super extra about being scared. Kyle guarantees that Eileen is freaking out-but the other gondola is full of relaxed women taking photos and videos of the view. Back go to LVP-Kyle-Dorit gondola and Kyle is still flipping out ( I think she thinks it’s cute). LVP is wearing some high ass heels to be climbing 248 steps.

The pouring rain comes as they get to the destination but luckily they all have matching umbrellas and ponchos. Erika is drowning her Miu Miu shoes (label drop). They come across a sacred oxen and LVP wants to bring him home.

Eileen and Rinna go to a big fire with big incense sticks-Kyle facetimes with Mauricio before visiting Buddha. They all gaze with awe at the Buddha and decide to climb the stairs to get a closer look. They get to the top, look at him, and decide it’s time to eat and shop.

In Dorit’s room she’s got her makeup artist doing her face (wait-wasn’t she just bitching about Erika bringing her glam squad?) and is complaining to the MUA about Rinna and Erika.

Dinner is at a beautiful restaurant with big windows everywhere overlooking the water. Even the scenery can’t save this dinner. It’s awkward and tense, until Eden says there’s an elephant at the table-Rinna lets it out of its cage by asking Dorit if she’s apologized to Erika-LVP tells Rinna to butt out but Erika announces that no, she hasn’t. LVP is talking quietly to Erika and trying to minimize the whole thing, Erika is not having it. She tells LVP that she gets that Dorit is LVP’s friend and that she feels the need to defend her, but…. LVP thinks Erika is making a big deal.

Eileen tells Dorit that she was just trying to help her, Dorit asks “what was I supposed to do!” and Erika cuts her off with “Shut your mouth? Not talk about it?” and proceeds to dress Dorit DOWN. Dorit has her mouth hanging open. Again. Rinna asks Dorit if she trusts PK. Dorit is almost offended and then says “implicitly”. Kyle, for some reason, takes great umbrage with that question and turns it in to “you leave the husbands out of it blah blah” but I think that’s a very valid question Rinna asked. There’s a lot of arguing amongst the group, Kyle is blowing Rinna’s question way out of proportion. Erika wants to know why all the deference to PK and not to her? Kyle then escalates it into “messing with marriages” ( hit a nerve there, Umansky?) and that sets Erika OFF. She was accused of flashing husbands.  Erika wants to know why Kyle is so worried about Dorits marriage but what about Erika’s? Kyle backs up and says that’s really not it, she just doesn’t like Rinna saying Dorit doesn’t trust PK. Rinna didn’t say that but ok. Rinna wants to know what’s really going on here-because this is not about what Erika is or isn’t wearing. Well, Erika is going to tell her. It’s about seizing a moment that should have been over, spinning it and making Erika out to be a slut or whore.

Dorit starts to apologize, Erika interrupts her and says she wants her to apologize to Tom for dragging his wife through the mud. And while she’s at it she wants PK to apologize to Tom too. Dorit isn’t receptive to that. She says she can apologize if she feels like it but she doesn’t run PK. Erika is all, oh you don’t? Dorit says sorry, not going to have PK call Tom. Rinna and Eileen say they’d have their husbands apologize if necessary, Rinna asks Dorit “can’t you see Erika is hurting?” Dorit wants Rinna to STFU and butt out.

Erika tells Dorit “this sucks”. Dorit apologizes but then negates it by saying it’s not a big deal. Eileen starts defending Dorit and Erika is shooting her eye daggers. Eileen says that “Dorit apologized, what else do you want? She didn’t kill your child”. Big. Mistake.

Erika says she doesn’t have to forgive anyone and how dare she bring up her child. Eileen keeps stepping in it and making it worse, Erika is getting madder and madder, tells Eileen to never bring up her kid again. Erika is seething. Dorit says “she didn’t talk about your kid”-Erika tells them to shut the fuck up. Do these chicks not see that Erika is at Defcon 1!?!

Rinna crosses the table to comfort Erika who is sobbing. Erika shamed Eileen for bringing her son up, he’s a police officer that risks his life every day-she can barely breathe she’s so upset. We all know this isn’t about her son, right?

Eileen is on the verge of tears and makes the poor decision to say “let’s all take a moment to honor Erika’s son”-Erika is all no thanks. It’s a mess-Eileen is teary, Kyle is trying to defend her, Erika is still losing it.

Rinna says she’s sorry to change to subject but has a question for Dorit. Uh oh. She wants to know why she was left alone at the dinner table at Dorit’s party. Where did everyone go? Kyle looks confused and asks “what does that mean?” And I want to know where she’s going with this too-“were people doing coke in your bathroom?” And there it is. I’ve said repeatedly that Dorit has looked very……alert. Allegedly. I know the look. Anyway-Dorit is indignant, Kyle and LVP are horrified.

Next week: Dorit has a coke den. LVP v Rinna. Erika and Eileen collide. LVP has a party.

Talk soon Lovelies 

-Allie

New Hobby and Apology

Guys-I’m not going to have time to recap RHOA-I’ve got 50 things to do and I just don’t have time-I’m sorry.

I want to start collecting coffee table books-I found some that I can’t wait to get! There’s Chanel Collections and Creations, Face Paint, W: The Stories, In Vogue: An Illustrated History, Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty, Vogue: The Covers, The Complete Book of Shoes, 100 Years of Fashion, Kevyn Aucoin: Making Faces and that’s just the start. I’d like to put shelves around my makeup area and have them up there. Plus I really want to read them. 😊 they’re not expensive thru Amazon but holy crap Annie Leibovitz has one for 2,500$. It’s got Keith Haring art on the cover but still. No.






My Ipsy and Boxycharm are supposed to be here today so I’ll post reviews if and when they get here.

Talk soon Lovelies!

-Allie