Is this the episode with the infamous boat ride where they “almost died”? I haven’t seen it yet obviously, so I’m not sure how much is real and how much is hysteria, so we shall see.
It’s the morning after Dorinda lost her drunken shit on Lu-Lu is Dead Sea salty over it, starts babbling about being the Countess, uses Lady Gaga and Queen Latifah as examples. Carole remind her that those are stage names 🤭😂.
Dorinda is still on a rager-she’s NOT sorry, and still pissed. She stuck by Lu thru everything, dammit. I wonder if she’s still drunk. Bethenny butts in-big mistake-Dorinda ain’t having it, B. Eventually everyone gets into it over who should stay out of it. For once? Sonja is the most rational. That’s scary. Bethenny takes the opportunity to lash out at Carole out of nowhere, it seems to be her most favorite thing right now. She informs Carole that she can tell that Carole “does not like me and do not wanna be friends.” Carole is like whaaaa..where is this coming from. Bethenny again makes it all about Bethenny, and is climbing back up in the cross. I’m really over Bethenny nit picking. She’s crazed. Carole suggests canceling the boat ride-if they only listened.
Bethenny CAN NOT DROP IT. She needs to back off and chill. Ramona is making sense.
Carole gets Lu and Dorinda to talk quietly. The hug it out. I’m glad. Dorinda is always sorry the morning after, isn’t she. Dorinda feels that Lu judged her drinking-but I think that’s Dorinda’s guilty conscience. Wait-maybe they’re not making up. I’m confused. Ok yes, they’re ok. Jeez.
Bethenny is STILL going on and on and on about Carole. In front of Carole. She’s obsessed. This is pathological now. Everyone is pretty incredulous. Bethenny tries to make it seem like she’d have said all of that to Carole’s face so it worked out that she overheard. Bullshit. Awkward. Bethenny says that she’s freaking out because she’s never had a super close friendship cool off. Personally? I think she’s bugging out because she can’t control the situation. 🤷🏼♀️
Oooo-they’re going on the infamous boat ride!
It’s a fairly large boat/yacht it seems. Carole and Bethenny hug it out. For now. The sea looks pretty calm. Sonja is drunk. Lu looks pretty incredible in her bikini-dang. They get to a private island.
The island is pretty fancy. There’s a lot of booze. Carole and Lu put a (dead?) crab on Ramona. She thinks it’s a spider. Sonja has reached new levels of nasty pig-she’s stretching her bikini out to flash her boobs, butt, and uterus (because believe me, she showed it all) and we learn she keeps the tags on her WORN bathing suits so she can get top dollar at consignment. So beware, if you buy Sonja’s bathing suit, you may get more than you bargained for with the bottoms.
The water looks lovely-turquoise and clear-beautiful. Dorinda is off on her own a little, feeling guilty for losing it in Lu. As predicted. Bethenny comforts her, which is nice to see.
Sonja is just so gross when she’s drunk. It’s beyond cringey, really.
Lu forgives Dorinda. It’s funny that Lu can now see what an alcohol problem might look like tho. Not haha funny, ironic funny.
Tinsley remarks on Carole wearing a scarf under her hat, and Carole says she got it from her mother in law. Well-Bethenny can’t have THAT, and makes a shitty comment under her breath. Why, B? Why do you have to be so….bitchy?
Lunch is going well. Sea looks calm. Ramona is grilling Tinsley about her future. Ooo-I see waves.
Lu is practicing her cabaret. Ugh not this song. There’s talk of beat boxing-I’m uncomfortable. The manager is ending the party because the sea is getting “choppy”.
Here we go.
A producer is hurrying Luann onto the boat-she has to leave her lost cell phone behind. The “coast guard” called and said they had to leave right then because the sea comes to life every day at 3pm.
Sonja is screaming at Tinsley for bringing them out on the boat, Tinsley says the choppy sea is normal. Sonja is carrying on, pees herself (note to whoever buys that swimsuit) and throws a dress she peed on at Tinsley. Why isn’t Sonja married? She’s the epitome of class and grace, I don’t know why some hedge fund guy or investor hasn’t scooped her up. 😒
Carole is getting seasick-the boat is going up and down up and down. Table and chairs are flying, they’re looking for life jackets. They’re taking on water and there’s smoke. Ooo-now an alarm is going off. Sonja is acting like a maniac. The crew stops filming.
They’re back safe and sound. Everyone is fine. The anchor dropped due to the rough seas, the captain cut the rope to the anchor, setting the boat free. I know the women blamed production and said the boat was shoddy and the boat crew spoke no English (youre in Columbia, people, English isn’t the prevalent language) but I feel like it wasn’t intentional-seas get rough, no one planned on or expected all of that to happen, and everyone is ok. Does there have to be blame and fault?
Anyway. It’s a subdued breakfast. The night before they went out dancing and drinking. 🤷🏼♀️ Dorinda has diarrhea-she must be the one that got the parasite and had to wear a diaper home. Or Ramona? Or Sonja. Luann? I guess we only know Bethenny and Tinsley were ok.
Ramona is bossing the resort staff around, forcing them to pack her stuff. There’s a shit smear on the ground-gross. Luann shit the bed.
Next week: Firm bowel movements. Tinsley feels responsible for the bad trip. Dorinda and Lu still aren’t ok. Sonja brings her new shoe collection to Ramona’s skin care launch.
Talk soon Lovelies
-Allie
