Shocking News! (Sarcasm)

As Page Six (and Get Out) reported yesterday, there’s allegedly trouble in Paradise in the D’Agostino marriage. Control your shock and surprise, y’all. I had actually thought it would last at least a year. Oh, Lu. I’m not going to say we told you so, but….

DM story below:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4702492/LuAnn-Lesseps-union-Tom-D-Agostino-Jr-rocks.html

Talk soon, Lovelies
-Allie

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RHONY Recap: A Countess No More

Yes, guys, I’m back on my game. Sorry about that last 2 weeks! Anyway-on with the show.

At Sonja’s townhouse we see Frenchy making some coffee. He’s YOUNG. Sonja comes downstairs, bedhead and all, to see he’s brought her a poinsettia and is making her eggs. He asks if Tinsley will want to eat, Sonja doesn’t seem thrilled with that so sort of blows it off. She thinks that Frenchy is taking the relationship too seriously. Tinsley comes in to join them for breakfast anyway. Tinsley lets us know that originally she was supposed to date Frenchy but Sonja kept him for herself. Sonja offers up a threesome, to which Tinsley declines. So weird. Tinsley asks the status of their relationship and Frenchy says it’s serious, they explain the weird rules they have. Tinsley asks about Rocco-who Frenchy apparently knows about-and the ladies shriek. Subject changed to eggs.

Bethenny is setting up for her holiday party (a white tree??? NOOO!!) and is setting up an alcohol luge which is pretty cool and will probably be very popular.

Dorinda is stuck in traffic and wrapping Bethenny’s gift.

Ramona is putting on makeup because she’s going out with Avery and her friends, since she’s not invited to Bethenny’s party. She’s only slightly upset about it.

Sonja’s packing, and she and Tinsley are deciding what to wear to Bethenny’s party. Conner and Tinsley made plans to hang out while Sonja is in Phuket, and Sonja doesn’t like that at all.

Back to Bethenny’s party-prep and guests are in full swing as Dorinda arrives. There’s little lobster rolls and caviar. Dorinda asks the chef to teach her how to open an oyster, which brings tons of innuendo from this hyper sexual bunch.

Ramona is going out drinking with her daughter and her daughter’s friends. Tackyyyy. Know your place, crazy eyes. Ramona is beyond thrilled that the girls are all into wine.

Carole and Tinsley arrive to Bethenny’s party-Carole looks amazing and takes a luge shot. Tinsley does as well, but not as gracefully.

Avery reveals that Pellegrino is “her water”, and that growing up that’s what she called it. The girls are all reminiscing about growing up hanging at Avery’s house, and Ramona tells them to come “hang” now-they can bring some of their friends, she’ll bring some of her friends-it wouldn’t be awkward at all. One of Avery’s friends piped up “maybe your friends have sons they could bring” which momentarily brought Ramona back to earth.

Carole is luging it up! Bethenny and Tinsley are chatting about Ramona’s charity party the night before (Bethenny was invited but didn’t go, obvie). Showing scenes from the night before we catch a quick glimpse of a walking corpse-like vampire dude saying hello to Tinsley and Ramona. Whoa. Cue Ramona talking about Bethenny AGAIN. Tinsley asks Ramona if she’s coming “tomorrow night” (meaning Bethenny’s party). Oops. Ramona realizes she’s not invited.
Dorinda is still pretty upset at Ramona for trashing her house. Ramona remains unapologetic, as she often does. Tinsley tells Bethenny that Ramona says she regrets coming at Bethenny so hard.

Back to Ramona not acting her age-she starts telling Avery and her friends about her fight with Bethenny and says she lashed out, blacked out, and went on a rampage. One if the friends says “You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells with a friend.” Ramona acts like that was the deepest philosophical awakening she’s ever heard, dramatically throws her body back against the booth and flings her napkin behind her (for someone else to pick up). She sings the praises of the super wicked wise 21 year old. The girl keeps going, seemingly on a roll, and Ramona is eye poppin’ shocked at her brilliance.She feels a “bond and synergy” with these kids, all the while flipping her hair like crazy.

Bethenny asks Dorinda if she went to Ramona’s party-Forinda says she did and said what she wanted to Ramona about the destruction of the room. Rewind to the night before, we see Dorinda confronting Ramona, who stands there smirking, and Sonja mocks Dorinda-those 2are the biggest assholes. Back to Bethenny’s, Sonja walks in as Dorinda is telling her story of Ramona’s history of disrespecting her home. Sonja’s talking head is complaining that Dorinda isn’t over it.

Dorinda tells the ladies that Ramona was minimizing her actions and just didn’t care-Sonja is rolling her eyes.

Ramona tells Avery and co how she destroyed Dorinda’s home, and thinks it’s super cute-she says “Dorinda is SO mad at me”. I’ve got a feeling that those kids know better than to do what Ramona did and think she’s an asshole.

Dorinda says Ramona just wants to ignore it-Carole thinks Ramona has been more aggressive. Dorinda doesn’t want this to be a Ramona bashing session. Sonja pipes in with saying how Ramona does that sort of thing all the time, that Ramona has trashed every single hotel bathroom she’s ever stayed in. So Ramona is a disrespectful pig. Got it.

Ramona is now making a drunken I love you toast to Avery and her friends-they’re ALL her daughters!

Back to Bethenny’s they’re drinking out of chocolate chip cookie cups, which is so cool.

Now we’re in Florida for Luann’s wedding. We see personal footage of her getting ready, her dress arriving-they show the actual wedding spot, which is quite beautiful.

Dorinda arrives for her wedding hair and makeup late-Luann thinks she was at the beach.Ky says she’s a hopeless romantic and she knew the first week she was with Tom she would marry him. Not sure HE knew that. We see Tom in his tux looking a little nervous. Lu’s talking head is gushing about her relationship with Tom-we see her in her dress and veil getting her makeup touched up.

Jill Zarin gets her 2 seconds of attention to wish the couple good luck. Tim is escorting his mom down the aisle, then Dorinda walks, looking beautiful.

***SIDE NOTE****
Wasn’t there some kind of stink where Luann refused to allow Bravo cameras in? Like at first she said yes, but right before she changed her mind? I thought I heard something about that. Which is pretty ungrateful since without Bravo no one would notice or care that she was getting married. Anyway…
****

Luann’s kids are walking, then Luann with her brother, Michael giving her away. The priest says a few words, then some sort of vows, then they’re married. They kiss, and she almost knocks him over. The kiss looks awkward to me. Her talking head then flashes her wedding rings “HA HA!!” Yes, Luann, you got the prize.

Tom and Luann exit a doorway into the reception with a really bad voiceover announcing them. We only see snippets of the reception, every guest’s face is blurred, and we see a Marilyn Monroe impersonator jump out of a fake cake. Lu is dancing with Tom and towering over him. The end.

2 weeks later in NYC Carole and Bethenny are in Chinatown for lunch. Bethenny is incredulous that Carole hasn’t been to a place like they’re at, and Carole just tells Bethenny to order for her. Tom and Luann are having a post wedding party for all of the uninvited, so there’s that, and Adam finally found an apartment, Carole is glad.

Dorinda and Ramona are having lunch at Dorinda’s. Ramona is getting all of the wedding details and actually being gracious. Dorinda is all set with Tom and Luann wedding parties-enough.

Bethenny and Carole are amazed at all of the different foods in ChinaTown. They go for ice cream, and despite all of the crazy flavors, Carole gets boring chocolate. Bethenny is unimpressed.

Sonja is ordering Conner to redecorate her bedroom to make room for Frenchy’s things since he’s sort of moved in. Tinsley discovers that tidbit and is pretty surprised. Sonja likes him but he wants to adopt kids.

Tom and Luann’s post wedding party for the uninvited (aka get more presents) is starting-Bethenny gets there 15 minutes late but is still the first one there. Since she’s the only one there she makes a crack that it’s a party for the only people that haven’t slept with Tom. Ha. Dorinda arrives, she and Bethenny agree that it’s enough with the Tom and Luann wedding parties. The bride and groom arrive, Carole does too shortly after. Ramona gets there with Avery, and complains about the venue.

Bethenny and Avery exchange pleasantries but Ramona and Bethenny ignore each other. Tinsley is there-with a date!! It’s 23 year old Chad! Ramona complains about his age. Avery is a very poised, gracious and lovely young lady. Is that despite Ramona?

I find it really strange how Lu hovers over Tom during group conversations. It’s needy, clingy, and weird. Tom is showing off his wedding ring and making jokes about it. He says he didn’t want to wear one, but Luann insisted. I bet. Sonja and Frenchy arrive, Ramona shrieks at their arrival, and Sonja introduces him to all of the ladies. Has anyone noticed the strange high pitched giggle/cackle that Ramona develops around testosterone? Watch-you’ll notice it. Tinsley tells Bethenny that Frenchy moved in. Sonja actually looks really happy. Ramona is cackling.

Dorinda and Bethenny are chatting and ignoring John, who I didn’t see either until Carole says hello to him. Tinsley comes over to talk to Carole and can’t wait to tell her she’s got a 23 year old with her. Carole is all like, well, that’s cool and all-but if you’re looking for a husband and children….

Ramona calls her “friend” Jim over and introduces him to Sonja. I think she just didn’t want to look man-less especially since Tinsley and Sonja both have dates.

Frenchy is entertaining Sonja and Ramona (cackle cackle)-she’s awkwardly acknowledging Jim-they’re dating but that’s all she’s saying. Sonja and Ramona mock Tinsley’s date saying he looks 12, which is ironic coming from Sonja.

Sonja introduces Frenchy to Tom and Luann, they talk wedding, and are all very pleasant. Tom then aggressively grabs Luann by the thrust sort of in a chokehold and kisses her. SO. WEIRD. There’s been a lot of weird this episode.

Dorinda makes a speech to make up for her first one in the boat where she drunkenly slurred her way through. Lu is hovering. Tom takes over the toast and talks about the wedding, making a jab about “true friends and family” being there. The comment does not get past Bethenny and Tinsley, who laugh it off.

Next week: Frenchy and Sonja talk their relationship and “those beeshes”, Sonja isn’t very honest with Rocco, Tinsley gets advice from Carole, Bethenny renovates to sell, Ramona defends her behavior.

Yay! I did it!

Talk soon Lovelies
-Allie

The Ever-Classy Kim Zolciak

Kim and Kroy had a vow renewal this weekend in Turks and Caicos-we all know how those end up on Bravo-anyway, our Kimmy kept it classy by posing topless in the ocean with her gigantic white wedding dress pulled down around her waist. Wonder if the kids were cheering her on from the shore? She grosses me out. More plastic than plastic and an ego to match.
DM story below;

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4508060/Kim-Zolciak-topless-vow-renewal-ceremony.html

Talk soon Lovelies

-Allie

Vanderpump Rules recap: Triple Trouble


10 Days til wedding. Sandoval is trumpeting a trumpet for no apparent reason in his apartment and Jax is unimpressed. Sandoval puts the trumpet down and makes shakes-Jax would like his raw-egg free but Sandoval isn’t going to oblige. Schwartz’s triplet brothers can’t make it to the wedding-or so Schwartz thinks-and the plan Jax and Sandoval have is to secretly fly the triplets in from Florida, but they want it to be a surprise. Jax isn’t so sure the triplets can keep the secret. I guess the Schwartz trust-fund theory is a bust?

8 Days til Wedding The hoo ha ha bridesmaids are having a fitting for their dresses and Kentucky spills the beans about the triplet surprise to of all people, Kristen. Oops. The dresses are a pretty color but meh style and no on the shoes. I’m just not a fan of the block heel, and too much fabric wrapped around the ankle/leg. But that’s just me. Schwartz has been given the task of picking out the candy for wedding favors with Jax and Sandoval. They’re going apeshit picking random candy.

Katie tells the bridesmaids hoo ha ha that she’s so excited for the future now that she and Schwartz have magically mended their dysfunctional AF relationship. Scheana pipes in with how she and Shay went to therapy-once-and that’s all it took for them the learn to communicate. Even Stassi can’t control herself. Once. 

Sandoval comments on Schwartz’s change of mood, Schwartz compares his life to a scene in the movie Predator. He feels like NOLA had to happen, and purged all the bad from his relationship with Katie. Uh huh.


SUR is opening for the day-Jax asks Katie how date night with Schwartz went and she says she’s just glad they resolved everything before kids come into the picture. Scheana and her piping in-adds how glad she is that she and Shay got all their fighting over in the first year of marriage. Oh, Scheana. She’s trying SO HARD. She announces that she’s going to see a fertility doctor because kids are the next step. I predict that that is NOT the next step. Why go to a fertility SPECIALIST before even trying to get pregnant? Because Scheana is a PLANNER. I think Jax knows something we don’t about Scheana and Shay. Scheana says that Shay is working on something “special” for her in the studio. Yeah-his escape.

LVP is riding a horse up to SUR. Really. Random. She found these people that ride their horses all over WeHo. As she walks through the restaurant she sees a server  about to bring out a glass of sangria that is underpoured,  so brings it back to Jax for correction. He gossips to LVP about Scheana and her fertility mission because she wants to freeze her eggs as well. Jax smells a rat in Scheana and Shays relationship and doesn’t seem to be a fan of Shay.

Stassi is doing a photoshoot for…Stassi. Ohhhkay. The first outfit is a white button down men’s shirt and control top underwear, with tall boots. The next is a black minidress. Katie came along despite still needing to write her vows. Next Stassi wears the see thru bodysuit. She compares posing semi nude to being a porn star. She’s a pretty girl no doubt-but model? Maybe for instagram.



LVP is making the table rounds at SUR. Kentucky goes to the bar and orders a drink from Jax for a table and confesses that she told Kristen about the triplet surprise. Jax is annoyed, because Kristen. The innocent southern farm girl act is getting played out.

James! Where ya been, James?!? I don’t know but now he’s at his girlfriend Raquel’s parents house. He’s brought her mom flowers (side note: Raquel’s sister looks like an old Miley Cyrus). James says that her family is supportive of their relationship and very welcoming. James asks where Raquel’s father is-apparently he’s in Alaska on a kayak finding bears and himself and has been for 2 months. My spidey senses tell me that’s a sore topic, plus Raquel changes the subject QUICK talking about how starving she is. James gallantly compares dating Raquel and Kristen by saying Kristen is like the hooker you bang on the hood of a BMW. Classy! But maybe not wrong. Still. James breaks the news that he got fired from SUR and PUMP-the Miley sister is all great! there goes my “in” to Jax! and wants to know what he did. James admits to “situations” like head locks, etc. The good news is he’s quit drinking and has a new DJ gig-he professes his love for Raquel and her family, and gets teary. He’s happy they trust him.

2 Days Til Wedding Lala creeps up on Ariana who looks confused to see her. Lala wants to apologize for her behavior and disappearing act, and gives a tear filled, pretty sincere one. Ariana isn’t going to jump back into the friendship that quickly. Lala is looking for LVP as well so she can officially quit. After 2 months of no-showing. She then creeps up on LVP who’s just as surprised to see her. They sit at a table and LVP asks “what the hell happened?” Lala explains that her way of dealing with things is not to deal with them and to hibernate and be incommunicado. LVP says sorry-not good enough. She supported Lala and gave her a chance when she hired her to hostess and feels very disrespected. She basically calls Lala out for lying and Lala admits she didn’t handle things well or right. Lala cries and admits to crippling anxiety. LVP gives her advice but is spot on about Lala’s strategy which is to be young and pretty.

Kristen and Carter are packing for the wedding and OMG she forgot to blab to Carter about the triplets flying in to surprise Schwartz.

Katie and Schwartz are driving to the wedding destination. They supposedly see a random bear just strolling along the side of the road, but I don’t know about that. They arrive at Twenty Mile House which is their wedding venue. First things first they sit with the owner who is going over the bill-this place is $1495 a night, and they spent $10,000 on FLOWERS. In the woods. Where flowers grow. The grand total is $51,000. 

The cabins are definitely rustic. Are they $1500 a night rustic? No. Kristen and Carter get there just as the owner shows up for his check. Katie can’t find her checkbook but Schwartz writes a check for $20,000. Half of which is for flowers.

Next to arrive are Stassi and Rachel who claim they “almost died” on the way there. How, you may ask? They didn’t have cell service or GPS. And we all know how fatal that can be. They’ve got the piñata at least.


One Day Til Wedding It’s the next morning and they’re all making breakfast. Katie won’t share her bacon with Schwartz. Uh oh-Sandoval forgot his suit and missed his flight. Schwartz’s family, I don’t know what’s going on there. His Dad isn’t coming because he hates to fly and his sister isn’t coming because she has to work. It’s his WEDDING. But ok. Jax hopes the triplets actually make it because he has doubts about their reliability. All 3 share one cell phone so it’s been a chore.

Scheana and Shay are packing too and Scheana tells Shay that Kristen wanted to know if he had any special requests. He gets snippy and says no, plus he’s over everybody. Something went down with him and the group because they were all tight. He’s not interested in tubing with everyone and not interested in Scheana.

LVP, Ken, Pandora and Jason arrive in a private plane and then at the guest lodging in a monster stretch SUV. LVP says it’s unlike any hotel she’s stayed in. Ken thinks it’s still possible for Schwartz to chicken out.

A van brings the rest of the bridesmaids hoo ha ha and the groomsmen. Ariana says Sandoval missed the plane by a second. Jax has to call Schwartz right away because he’s just found out the triplets missed their flight. They had one job. 

Next week: Tubing fun on the river. Piñata takes a beating. Schwartz gets his wedding gift. Wedding dress issues.

Talk soon Lovelies

-Allie

Luann Is A Mrs!! 

Luann is a married lady. Looks like only Dorinda Medley was there from the cast, the others declined? Or weren’t invited?  Ole Lu pulled a switcheroo on Andy, and he’s gonna be mad. 

At the last minute, apparently, she refused to let Bravo cameras film. She said they wanted it “private”. 

Then, post-ceremony People mag announced they bought the rights to the pictures for like, $20k. Slick, Lu-very slick. Thoughts?

It’s her day, I get it. But talk about biting the hand that feeds you. Dang.

DM article below.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4079166/Real-love-Housewives-star-Luann-Lesseps-marries-Tom-D-Agostino-Palm-Beach-ceremony-banning-Bravo-filming-event-New-York-stars-declined-attend.html

Talk soon, Lovelies

-Allie

Lu Is Ringing The Wedding Bells


So tonite is the big night for RHONY’s Luann and Tom D’Agostino as they exchange vows in Palm Beach, FL. Daily Mail has a story and photos from last night’s rehearsal dinner-

http://dailym.ai/2ip7lrI

Well. Good luck to them. I don’t trust this Tom guy. Not even a tiny eensy weensy bit. He gives off a bad vibe to me. I get she’s happy, we know because she says  “HE LOVES ME” all the time. Like-a lot. 

I live in Luann’s hometown. Her family business is nearby, hubs went to high school with her nephews, so I’m rooting for her, you know? Nice to see a neighbor go out into the world and do so well. But this guy…I don’t know, Lovelies. I will refrain from voicing my opinion out of respect for her happiness in her wedding day (as if she gives a poo what I think).

Enjoy the photos from last night and when the wedding ones are released, and they will be released asap I’m sure, I’ll post a link. 

Talk soon, Lovelies

-Allie