Still in Mexico-
Dorinda is doing some pre breakfast yoga. Luann joins her, hung over. She joins in the yoga fun. Bethenny comes down but no yoga. Carole and Tinsley are having breakfast. Yoga is over. Luann is injury free from her drunken falls. Tinsley gets a buttload of flowers from Scott, the 5 day blind date-she’s happy. She calls him her new boyfriend.
Surfing is on the agenda-Ramona is late to the party telling everyone Luann fell-they already know. Bethenny asks to speak to Ramona alone-Ramona semi apologizes for her behavior the night before but it’s too little too late-Bethenny band Ramona from the tequila event, too much planning has gone into it, and Ramona can’t be trusted to behave herself. Ramona says ok but if Bethenny changes her mind she’d still like to go. Bethenny tells Ramona she’s never seen anything like her antics, Ramona blah blah blahs, and tells Bethenny she “doesn’t not not like her”. There’s a triple negative in there, so I’m lost. Awkward convo over.
Everyone is surfing except Sonja and Ramona. Sonja talks crap about Tinsley, jealous over Tinsley and Bethenny being friends. Sonja criticizes Tinsley for going on the 5 day date and says it’s “friend jumping”. Whaaaa? Ramona feels like she can’t win with Bethenny.
Tinsley joins Sonja and asks to talk to her. She confronts her about the Page Six story which Sonja still denies planting. Sonja refuses to squash it and tells Tinsley it’s her job. Plus it’s hard to squash a story you planted.
Luann is surfing her hangover away. They’re getting surf lessons on sand.
Sonja is mad that Tinsley brought up the story in front of everyone-she actually takes something that was said about her and puts it in Tinsley-“enabling behavior”. Wrong context but Sonja must’ve liked the sound of it.
Ladies hot the water. Dorinda isn’t bad, Bethenny is good, Carole at least can get up on the board, Luann is awful. They loved it though.
Sonja turns the entire thing on Tinsley. She’s gaslighting her and it’s almost working. Sonja is just not Tinsley’s friend.
Dorinda tells Bethenny that it hasn’t sunk in to Ramona’s head that she’s not invited to the tequila tasting. Ha. Wonder if her bff Sonja will stay back and keep her company? 😂 the ladies are off on a shopping excursion. Ramona’s strategy is to pretend everything with Ramona is excellent-Bethenny sees a dress she wants but her credit card is “blocked”, Ramona jumps in to buy the dress for her. Bethenny is all “really, NO”. She buys it anyway. Bethenny is changing her mind about excluding Ramona. Ramona buys everyone straw bags. She’s buying her way to the tequila trip and it’s working. But she forgot Dorinda.
Sonja joins Bethenny and Carole in the hot tub. Bethenny is still going on and on about the Tequila trip. But she’s on edge. Sonja says she’s trying. Sonja says that Ramona is miserable because she’s not “getting banged”. They see Ramona alone on the beach running-there must be a man at the end of the beach.
Sonja is talking to Ramona acting like she was her big advocate to Bethenny. Ramona finally acknowledges she hurt Bethenny’s feelings. But it wasn’t her intention, y’all.
It’s dinner time-they’re at a restaurant it looks like, they’ve got to go easy on the drinking. Tinsley is reading Page Six at the table. Tins. We get it. Enough. Bethenny says how amazing it would be if someone actually told the truth and confessed. Sonja acts like she has no idea, dismisses it as a “Tinsley Tantrum” and it’s being blown out of proportion. Carole puts Sonja in her place and says what’s ridiculous is calling her a bad houseguest, which YOU did. Sonja denies it. Carole says it’s part of her loop. Dorinda tells Sonja she hurt her feelings. Sonja is just being an asshole. She refuses to understand, and keeps saying that Tinsley is happy as a lark. Carole has to define a “circle jerk” to some of them and that brings Sonja to Ramona’s sex life. Ramona says she has every sex but conventional because she’s Catholic.
Dorinda hands out gag gifts-Ramona gets an apron because she’s always got her boobs out, Luann hit an I’m engaged/married mug, Sonja got “No One Cares” pills. It goes over Sonja’s head.
Before bed Bethenny goes over the trip for the morning, dress code, etc. She addresses Ramona and begs her, in tears, not to ruin the tequila trip. Ramona says she’d never do that, but Bethenny tells her yes you would and you have. They hug.
The big tequila trip day! Bethenny is super excited. They’re taking a helicopter to the place. Ramona has her face covered like some weird bandit, then cracks her head while getting into the helicopter. Ramona is happy she’s there. Bethenny is super proud and emotional. They land in an agave-bush-growing-place and are greeted by people in traditional Mexican garb playing drums and blowing on conch shells.
They all get straw hats and start the tour with Skinnygirl margaritas. They get a show with fire and headdresses-it’s cool. They show them agave, then into the distillery. I don’t drink (I just hate the taste of alcohol and it makes me instantly sleepy) but this looks like a tour I’d enjoy. Dorinda can’t stomach all of Ramona’s asskissing towards Bethenny.
They make it to the distillery and have to wear hard hats and safety vests. The quite explains the fermenting process and tells them the way to drink tequila in the old days was from a bull horn. They’re about to drink 130 proof tequila. Yowsa.
Luann hasn’t even had that much to drink and she’s already side eyeing the horn and thinking about taking it on a date with her lady parts later. They toast and chug. Now they see more locals, a dancing horse, and a cute little niño handing out flowers. They’ve got a table set up for more tequila. Bethenny hands out little plastic guys that go into your glass. It’s tequila numero tres. Oh wait, cinco. They’re tasting a lot, and there’s food. After 7 tequilas, don’t they all taste the same? Sonja has broken her sober streak. Time to leave.
Back to the villa-the drinking will continue. Bethenny is dancing on a table, Carole is swinging in a rope swing into the pool, Sonja is trying to make out with Luann.
Sonja is too much. Ramona says she knew her marriage was in trouble when Mario left his ring behind. Sonja tells Ramona she doesn’t believe she’s happy, keeps saying “getting BANGED-it’s haaaard, it’s haaaaard”. Sonja is crass, Bethenny tells Sonja to stop. She tells her to stop therapizing every one but drunk Sonja is relentless.
Next week: deep sea fishing. Luann is extra. Fireworks. Sonja is cut off, Bethenny skinny dips. Ramona V Bethenny part 56098. Sonja is still messy drunk. Dorinda slurs and bleeds.
Talk soon Lovelies