RHOC Post Mortem: The Not So Quiet Woman

Vicki needs to retire that “whoooohooo” baying at the tequila moon crap. Enough.

Back to Lydia and Shannon having words-they go back and forth and Shannon storms off. I totally feel like Lydia came into meeting Shannon with a Vicki-placed chip on her shoulder.

Tamra defends Shannon to Lydia. David follows a squawking Shannon into the ridiculously unnecessary giant limo they took to a toddlers birthday party and he’s asking her what’s wrong. Oh, David. That’s a loaded question, my dear. Shannon tells David what Lydia said to her.

Tamra wisely advises Lydia to stay off the Vicki topic. Lydia doesn’t do bitchy Vicki henchman very well and should refrain from that role. Lydia is questioning why Tamra is friends with Shannon.

Peggy is still uncomfortable from her surgery. Her son Koko is playing basketball in the house. His eyebrows are EPIC. No shade to the kid, just, wowser. When she speaks Armenian, the kids know she means BIZ. Peggy and husband are off to her Dr appointment.

Vicki is checking on her new office progress. She’s boasting about custom made this, 10,000$ that, how everything is so expensive, but that’s Vicki! She wants surveillance cameras so she can log in from her desk and spy on people coming into the office and her employees. She accused a former employee of embezzlement so has zero trust. Poor martyr Vicki is too giving and trusting and been burned. No more! She’s building an EMPIRE!

Peggy is at the plastic surgeon’s office to have her expanders checked. She’s not sure if they’re big enough. Implants are the next step. It’s weird that her husband and doctor are having the conversation about size and not including her whatsoever. She looks sad, man. Really sad. Her husband lectures her on her breast size. She says that on the outside she’s got it all but in reality is struggling. She gives her Dr a thank you speech.

Lydia and Doug are doing magazine stuff. I wonder if Doug is wearing socks. Lydia is freaked out that the magazine isn’t ready. They have a trip, a party, a launch party to plan and complete before the magazine prints. Lydia thinks Doug is too nice. Tamra calls, and Lydia wants an explanation about Shannon. Tamra describes Shannon’s personality and thinks Lydia took her the wrong way. Lydia is bitchy and dismisses Shannon as “crazy”.

Tamra calls Shannon, and is playing with Charlie the Guinea Pig. I hate Guinea Pigs.

Shannon wants to know if dinner is still on-Tamra says she talked to Lydia-she tells Shannon that she told Lydia she shouldn’t have brought up Vicki. Shannon is willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and try again. Dinner is on! Charlie the GP poops on the floor and Tamra picks it up with her bare hands. Gross. Ugh.

Aspen has gas. Jim is cleaning and complaining. Meghan says the house is too big. Jim has the personality of a dry sponge. Not even wet. Meghan thinks babies can see ghosts.

Shannon is back at the gym and ready to work on losing the weight. Her Dr/Trainer asks why she gained the weight and why she let anything affect her that much to where it was detrimental to her health. He makes her get on the scale. The last weigh in she was 134. She’s 172. Dr Tims response? “wow”. I’d have punched him in the throat and walked out. I think she knows, TIM. Her body fat is 40%. She needs to start working hard. He takes before pics. She’s brave. He asks how David feels about it-she says she doesn’t want to tell him her weight because he might “be done”. Whaaaaat? Because she gained weight he’d leave? Wow. Dr Tim is going to help her.

Peggy is dribbling an Oreo Ferrari and picks Lydia up in it. That black/white color scheme is ugly AF. Peggy drives fast, I think Lydia likes it but all I see is hair and teeth. Turns out Lydia invited Dodd to dinner. Big mistake. Dodd calls Lydia, she’s allegedly not going to dinner.

Tamra picks Shannon up, (well, a driver does) and Shannon launches into a huge explanation of her weight issues. Tamra is frustrated by that.

Lydia and Peggy are waiting for Shannon and Tamra who are late. Lydia’s goal is to leave being friends. Shannon says how it took 6 yrs to build her house-Peggy dismisses it.

Lydia wants to clear the air. Shannon is open after a speech. Lydia apologizes as does Shannon. Tamra cheerleads. Peggy is over it. Shannon announces her weight issues again. Peggy pipes in with an inappropriate anecdote about joking that every Fri her husband beats her. “It’s a joke, who cares”. Shannon looks for Ashton Kutcher. Even Lydia wants to hide under a napkin. Note to Peggy: Donestic Violence isn’t funny. Peggy just doesn’t get it. Shannon is shouting about food. Tamra is trying to help her choose a healthy option but….nope. Lydia invites Shannon to Stirling’s party but warns her that Vicki and Dodd will be there. That’s a hard pass for Shannon.

Shannon is off to the bathroom, Lydia says she likes Shannon (don’t believe it) and in walks Dodd. Tamra is all “OMG Kelly Dodd just walked in” and Lydia just makes a noise and excuses herself to pee. They all collide in the ladies room-Shannon, Dodd, and Lydia. First thing Shannon does is tell Dodd how much weight she’s gained. Omg enough, Shannon. I get she’s trying to address it so people don’t talk shit but gah. Dodd says Shannon looks like a completely different person.

Dodd is making faces behind Shannon’s back to Lydia. She’s still the same immature POS. Dodd loves to push Shannon’s buttons. It works, because Shannon is going off. I mean OFF. Is Shannon drunk? She keeps repeating herself how she confided in Dodd the second she walked in. Lydia pushes them to hug it out but neither wants to. Dodd is hostile. She says this place is “her jam” and Shannon knows it’s “her jam” and she’s got the East Coast in the house. Dodd leaves.

Shannon starts crying, Lydia tries to comfort her and prays over her. An exorcism?

Dodd slides in to the booth next to Tamra, mocking Shannon. She tells Peggy that Shannon is psycho, Tamra tries to temper it. Tamra isn’t into fighting with her-she tries to reason with Dodd but it’s not going to work. Peggy is enjoying her brussel sprouts.

Shannon returns to the table and Dodd is still there. Lydia wants it squashed. Shannon tells Dodd she was just surprised to see her there, Dodds response is that she lives right down the street. Shannon is using her mother tone to explain to the child (Dodd) why her reaction was what it was. Can they all get over it? Dodd doesn’t think so. Shannon tries to drag Peggy into it but Peggy is wisely uninterested. Dodd keeps pick pick picking at Shannon because she loves to see Shannon freak out. She even has a smirk. Shannon kicks her out of the table, and Dodd makes a wise crack about Shannon’s body. I hate Dodd. Like, haaaaaate her. She looks like shite too. She gets the reaction she wanted, and Shannon flips out. Tells her to fuck off, flips her off, calls her a fucking bitch. Dodd tells her to keep eating-Shannon tosses a plate of food at her.

Again: Shannon is done, she’s done, she’s done. Lydia and Peggy are dying of embarrassment. As Shannon is leaving, Dodd is cackling like a 12 year old.

Lydia and Peggy are so embarrassed. Lydia keeps apologizing.

Tamra is trying to comfort Shannon. Hairy sweaty balls for Kelly Dodd.

Next week: Dodd gets her snatch tightened. Sophie has a driving lesson. Ryan breaks down over the past.

Talk soon, Lovelies
-Allie