Project Runway S16/E01

DISCLAIMER: Yeah, I’ve been day drinking, so it is what it is. General impressions, and stuff.

First to enter is the twins….yeah, I still hate them. Then Deyonte….his wife is thisclose to delivering. And then everyone else arrives….blah blah blah. Twins thinks it’s their job to host and intimidate all the other contestants….have I mentioned that I hate the twins?

First challenge:
Project Runway bus enters the building and off jumps Tim and Heidi. Tim calls this their sweet sixteen….Heidi wants a coursage. Kenya already crying.

Tim tells them challenge begins now. “Worn by the stars”, so it’s a red carpet look with your design asthetic. First, the models…..they are curvacious. Nice….skinny to plus…in fashion plus is usually an 8, but here they go up to 22. Heidi: Truth of fashion is one size does not fit all.

Models head to assigned designer, every challenge they get a different designer. SWEET.

One day, and $300, for this challenge. Measure up your model and Brandon has a plus size model, which should be challenging for a menswear designer. She is gorgeous….sketch time!

Have I mentioned that I hate the twins? If not, I hate the twins.

Commercial: And I will be skipping through the Mood orgasm….yeah, we would all go completely insane at Mood, 16 seasons, we’ve seen it. Instead I’ll open wine!

Off to the standard PR workroom….find your spot, so twims STFU and get to work. Brandon is still bumming over his model….this pisses me off. Get over it, if you can’t design for a woman of size, find another career.

Twins talk more, and guess what? I still hate them.

Sentell went to a psychic (or oracle as he calls it) and she told him to design. My psychic told me to be a psychic….so there ya go.

ChaCha is having a problem with patterning…which he admits is the whole purpose of the competion. Calls his model fat. I will still stalk him, but I will sit on him when I find him.

Tim comes in:
Kenya, calls herself a short bald girl from Atlanta. Love her. Beautiful white dress

Amy: professor: wrap skirt (disappointed)

Aaron: sounds like a tux, Tim hates it but after description loves it

Samantha OK, (yeah basically OK)

Kentauro trained pianist…execution is limp, that’s what he wants

Margartia…adding color to make it look margarita

Chacha designs for Ariana Grande types….Tim is thinking…I am considering slapping as opposed to sitting on him….but I think getting sit on by a fat chick will humilate him more…take this butter, bitch! Tim tells him to commit or not

Claire, twin with hair…she talks more about her twin than herself. HATE THEM BOTH. She’s going sheers….in pink….Amy, notes the OVER ANNOUNCIATING thing, that makes everyone hate them so much….sooooo fucking pretentious

Bald twin…clean sporty siloutte….I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THIS BULLSHIT….she keeps saying “INDEED”

Kudzani…TIm is crazy about it

Michael: going for a sense of tacky

Ayana says that people think that modest is considered boring or dated, Tim disagrees…I agree

Sentell: thinking cropped pants, Tim: be careful it makes a woman look shorter

Bantani is all about the appliques. Tim feels like it’s all about the embellishments what’s left after that?

Deyonte…has a flower print…it’s kind loud. Tim thinks a serious problem with large scale print but loves it in this case….(he’s done a good job with this….line it up properly)

Brnadon seems so basic in execution that it has to be impecable. He doesn’t know how he’s going to get this done.

They check into whatever hotel/condos have paid for the promotional this season….twins WON’T STOP FUCKING TALKING. Burning fire of 1,000 suns level of hatred.

Model fittings, makeup and hair. TWINS KEEP TALKING. LMK if you want to know the actual styling of the models….I’m skipping it this week.

Chacha…AMY: “Big funny little mess, kinda like Chacha” Agree….a little too much Big Top PeeWee for me.

RUNWAY: I’ll grab as many pics as I can, I kinda wanna watch Big Brother eviction this week so it is what is it….so if I find them, great, if not, hope y’all like to Google! 😛

Guest Judge is Olivia Munn (who?), and Heidi needs a bra. This year in addition to all the other crap they get is a JC Penny line….I thought JCP was going OOB (out of business), and also a trip to Japan….apparently to make up for making a line at a company that is OOB.

Kenya – White with pockets…like it. A little wonky in the boobs, but nice
Kudzanai – Kinda Kimono, in red…not entirely ugly
Ayana – Grey with a flower….she loves the fabric, I think it looks cheap
Shawn – I did mention this is red carpet, right? She goes with Silver hot pants, and a cropped one shoulder with a cape-let thing. HIDEOUS, she thinks it’s balanced and edgy
Batani – first of the larger models…grey and tight and ucky, makes her normal size model look fat, FAT, F-A-T!
Claire – Orange and nude ballerina thing….not as ugle as the other twin
Brandon – not horrible. Salmon coloured maxi skirt with big slit and camo cropped top.
ChaCha – short dress with a clown neck, Zac lookds like he loves it (but maybe he’s just laughing)
Amy – she made like a long coat over a bikini top and pants. Jacket turns into a skirt over pants. I don’t get it. But she has a skinny model so it looks ok.
Sentell – looks kinda like Mars meets colour blind. Bad, bad, bad. F U G L Y
Kentaro – this is fabulous. Black top with tiers, and white skirt. Moves really well
Deyonte – love it…very floral, but he matched the print very well
Michael – went with a pin-stripe fabric with one of those off the shoulder/halter tops in sparkles. Shocked, but I like it
Aaron: ummm…how do I describe this? Kind of a tube top with a collar (there’s a line leading up to her neck to connect the 2)…kinda BDSM with an oversized white pants. Not a complete disaster. I hate her makeup
Samantha – she made a pretty tea length black dress with an empire waist and leather embellishments. Pretty, but boring
Margarita – Red pantsuit with sheer capelet. Model is walking FIERCE, Love it

I pause live TV to make my picks:
My bottom 3: Aaron (not horrible but just weird), Sentell, ChaCha. Sentel goes home.
My top 3:Deyonte, Margarita, Kenya….Margarita for the win.

Back to live:
Judges 6:
Batani, Deyonte, ChaCha, Shawn, Kenya, Brandon. (not Sentel!?!?! WTF)

Kenya: They love
Shawn: They have mixed. Olivia likes it, but thinks it would look bad on her.
Heidi doesn’t love, Zac thinks it’s club kid, Nina thinks shorts suck
ChaCha: They hate…totally not shocked. No ones understands it…nor do I.
Deyonte: They like
Brandon: They like
Batani: She’s totally going home…she admits she camouflaged the model’s figure. It is illfitting and ugly. Memo: Fat Chicks don’t want panty lines.

Oh good, next week is not only a team challenge but also an unconventional challenge (#1 unconventional, remember, I’m out at 3 of them)….please kill me. Guess both the fucking twins make it, because they’re in the previews for next week. For the record, I hate the twins.

Winner: Deyonte (it was really nice)
Safe: Kenya, Brandon,
Bottom: Shawn (has potential “Indeed”)
Out:ChaCha (called it)

Will add pics as I find them. Can’t say I disagree. Off to BB Double Eviction.

90 Day Freaks, before the 90 days

Episode 2 was a couple of days ago, sorry about the delay, but, work and shit.

Soooooooooo…..Darcy and Jesse. He seems like a really nice, genuine guy. If it’s all for real, she is a very lucky woman. His friends are snarky as hell and I want to hang out with them. He cleared out half of his closet for her!
She got her Louboutin’s stuck in the escalator at the airport and destroyed one of them. He showed up with a sash and flowers. He was clearly very happy to see her. It was surreal and nice at the same time.

Paul, the weird guy with multiple felonies, makes it to Brazil. Before boarding the boat, he gets searched by Brazilian police. TLC tries to do a cliff hanger of the drug dog alerting on one of his 8 bags, but they would have turned it into an episode of “Locked Up Abroad” instead, so I know it’s nothing bad. While I’m hoping it’s one of his mosquito net onsies, it’s his OTC cough drops and they let him keep ’em. *YAWN*. Because that flop of a cliff hanger, TLC leaves us with Paul at the dock, with little cellular service, waiting for Karine for over 45 minutes.

And the bestestest couple of this episode goes to Sean and Abby. Before he arrives, Abby is hanging with her girlfriends talking about Sean and Chris. Chris is this creepy old guy, even creepier than Sean, who is her “friend”. Sean is seriously worried about this relationship and wants to meet Chris before moving forward with Abby. Abby is telling her friends that she wants to keep Chris as a friend. One of them asks why. Abby responds that “he teaches her things”. The friend is side-eyeing and rolling so hard, I can hear it through the TV. Once Sean unloads all of those panties, he heads out of the airport to finally meet Abby. BTW, THIS IS HAITI. Sean is wearing a baby blue cardigan over a plaid shirt. The average daily tempurate in Haiti is between 70-80, and he’s wearing a sweater. He’s also shocked by the poverty. Way to do some research! Abby brought a friend with her to the airport. Sean walks up, hugs her, and immediately tells Abby he loves her in Haitian Creole. After a significant pause, Abby says she loves him too. They get into a car and drive off. I’m not completely sure where the friend wandered off to, but haven’t seen her anywhere since Sean walked up. Probably left her on the floor laughing her ass off, for reelz. At some point the producers take Abby aside for an interview about Sean. She’s talking and says (this is a direct quote) “I can’t wait to start my relationship with Chris”. The producer says “it’s Sean”. Abby is totally busted, looks guilty, and finally decides she had better cry. GOLD! TLC has struck gold, I tell you!!! I’ve looked for a clip of it, but can’t find it.

If you haven’t watched it, watch it just for the clip of Abby getting his name wrong….

The Murder of Laci Peterson

A&E is airing a six episode documentary about her murder and conviction of her husband, Scott. This will be the first time Scott has spoken publicly about the case. It also is airing quite a bit of evidence that has not really been known about.

Apparently, around the same time Laci disappeared, there was a robbery at the house right across the street. Police at the time announced to the press that they had investigated it, and the robbery actually happened on December 26, not the 24th – the day Laci disappeared. A news reporter on the show last night stated that he was literally in front of the neighbors house, broadcasting (of which they showed the footage showing the house), on the 26th and there was definitely no robbery on that day. Interesting. There are also people who saw Laci after Scott was verifiably at the Marina….if she was alive after he was there, he could not have killed her and dumped her body while out on the boat.

Disclaimer: I’ve never really believed that Scott did it. I actually think the side-piece Amber Frey had something to do with it. Yeah, he was a POS that cheated on his wife, but I don’t think he’s a POS that killed his wife.

That being said, it will be interesting to see how the arrest near the Mexican boarder with dyed hair and cash will be explained.

Are you watching? Do you remember the case? Do you think he did it? It will be interesting to me so see if this series changes my mind.

Project Runway casting special

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First up the “Ahead of the Curve” group:

Batani-Khalfani, 32, Inglewood, CA
Describes herself as edgy. Uses a lot of African prints and colors. I like her style. I see her ending up in middle of the pack.

Amy Bond, 46, Los Angeles, CA
She’s an associate professor. Gives me a Michelle vibe. She’s a draper, and I love a good draper. She calls her husband her spouse, which kinda generally annoys me….a little too PC for my tastes, but I like her so far. She’s going to kill formalwear challenges.

Ayana Ife, 27, Salt Lake City, UT
She designs Muslim street wear…or, as she calls it, “modest fashion for religious purposes”. Not to piss anyone off, but her fabrics are really cheap and I’m not sure how strong her construction skills are. Even Anthony Ryan commented that her hijab looks like she’s wearing panty hose on her head. Much like the winner a couple of years ago, Ashley, if the Judges decide they want to make a statement, she will win.

Margarita Alvarez, 30, San Juan, Puerto Rico
She’s Puerto Rican and I think I’m going to love her. The clothes she brought to casting are weird colors…she went on to say that she built this mini-colection on $20 in her bank account. She’s got the crop top thing going on, which I’m totally over, but I’m thinking her Latin influence will be interesting.

Next up the “Pattern for Persistance”

Samantha Rei, 36, Minneapolia, MN
Chubby, cute, mermaid hair (meh, I’m over mermaid hair). Brought a black and white collection based on emotions. Meh, I’m over emotions. Predict she will be the one who constantly sobs this season.

Deyonté Weather, 36, Lynnwood, WA
OK….I LOVE THIS GUY (Note: I wrote this before his personal interview). Grew up in Chicago, moved to Seattle at 17 to get out of the danger. This guy will go far. He also makes a point of being a straight guy in his personal interview so I may stalk him to make him my future ex-husband. Top 3.

Kenya Freeman, 37, Atlanta, GA
She is also chubby, but she’s got a shaved head. I like her asthestic more than that of Samantha. But then she gets to her love of peplums – guess what? I’m a bigger girl and I’m O-V-E-R peplums. She will easily be top 5 if she can keep up with the time limits….I don’t know what’s giving me this feeling that time may be an issue for her – maybe I’m picking up that she’s a perfectionist. I absolutely love the clothes she showed and her general attitude. I really like her.

Next group “It’s in the Genes”

Claire Buitendorp, 27, Grand Ledge, MI
Shawn Buitendorp, 27, Grand Ledge, MI
Twinsies! You can tell them apart because Shawn is bald, but they both have a bull nose ring. Shawn’s girls is bold and rock and roll. Not loving her collection. Claire has much of the same. Leather and sparkle….but kinda gaudy and ugly leather and sparkle. One ruins a leather motocycle jacket with “Seduce and Destroy” in sparkly blue on the back. Not a fan of either of them…hope they go soon. Wicked obnoxious. They will go far…and I will constantly bitch about them.

Next group “One Size Fits All” (This is a group of designers with a gender fluid design perspective. And, please, I mean zero offence if I use the wrong pronouns, if you have a masculine sounding name, I’m using male pronouns)

Aaron Myers, 23, Ridgewood, NY
He’s a menswear designer. Reminds me of Erin. He is wearing a dress himself that looks like the shit Erin made last season, so he can clearly sew and design for women at least as well as Erin could. He’s got some graphic T’s. I like him. He seems very sweet….but I predict he will be the one who give us killer talking heads. We will have to see how he handles time and womenswear.

Brandon Kee, 24, San Francisco, CA
Made his own textiles. I like the pieces he brought. Baggy, hip-hop/punk style. I think he will go very very far.

Michael Brambila, 25, Oakland, CA
Reminds me of Mondo. He designs “normal pieces with fettish undertones.” Very interesting collection. He used cock rings (sorry Mom!) in some of his items. Self described whore. I don’t hate his stuff, I don’t love it. It’s good, solid construction, just blah to me.

Sentell McDonald, 33, New York, NY
He is former professional dancer. Another menswear designer, but he did bring a dress. Looking at the dress, there are some construction issues. He’s had a tough life. Wasn’t accepted by blacks or whites growing up. He’s got a cute dog. Bradon also has concerns about construction issues so I’m not imagining it.

“From a Different HEME-isphere” (not entirely sure why they put that emphasis on it. Am I missing something? Feel free to explain to me if you know)

Kentaro Kameyama, 38, Los Angeles, CA
Originally from Japan. Inspired by classical music. Love his construction. I’m getting an Helmut Lang feel….and I HEART Helmut Lang. I think he’ll go far….Top 5.

Kudzanai Karidza, 32, Altanta, GA
Originally from my bucket list country of Zimbabwe. Androgynous designer with African flair, so lots of prints and color. Very funky, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Looks like he uses lots of denim.

ChaCha, 24, Taipei, Taiwan
This makes me very annoyed as I was supposed to be in Taiwan for work right now and I absolutely love how wacky this guy is so now I’m back to being bummed about not being in Taiwan right now. But enough about me, he is LEGIT wearing a butter shirt that he made himself. It’s kinda like a band costume, but it’s got a big ole stick of buttah right over his heart (which is where that big ole stick of buttah will end up). He’s alsmost got a circus vibe, but he’s sweet and wacky, and I LOVE him. He’s got a coat with a Care Bear on it. He is going on my stalking list. He will be the first one gone.

So there are the 16 designers.

My top 5 Deyonte, Amy, Margarita, Brandon, and Kentaro. Not including Kenya in my list is killing me, there is a strong field this season, I reserve the right to call her in from the bench….she’s my Jimmy Garoppolo.

Did you watch?

Sidney Barney speaks

I’m reluctant to post this because Sidney really just wants to be left alone, but she posted it to SM, and People picked it up, so I’m posting it.

People Mag

I get family issues, I have plenty of them – and I would not want them told one-sided on a crappy reality show. But the way Tamra has been portraying Sidney on SM is wrong, and Sidney has now chosen to vent about it.

Mostly I’m posting this because of the last line of the story, which is Tamra’s SM response. SHAME ON YOU!!!

I know we are a good group, but, if at all possible, please refrain from bashing Sidney. She didn’t choose this life. We won’t delete your comment, but please remember this is a very damaged child.

90 Day Fiance, the new crop of weirdos and freaks have arrived!

I watched the “Before the 90 Days” show last night and it looks AWWWWWWWESOME!

First up is some squirrelly, wicked weird, guy from KY, whose mother sent him off with a LOCK OF HER HAIR to a remote part of Brazil’s rainforest…..where they have internet good enough for video calls, but you have to take a boat for 2 days to get there. His on line girlfriend looks like she’s about 9. Oh, AND, he speaks no Portugese and she speaks no English….should be GOLD.
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Next up is some 50ish unemployed guy….no, wait, he’s doing “renovations” for a living….for, like, his brother or something. I think he’s from Ohio. Read on another site that he’s also doing 10 years probation for arson…not sure how he can leave the country with that, but whatevs. His nearly betrothed is a 20 year Haitian chick, to whom he is bringing $2,500 worth of clothing, MOSTLY PANTIES, for her to “resell”. She’s also got another 70ish boyfriend….this should be PLATINUM.
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Next up, one half of twinsies from CT. Now this is good…she’s 40ish and…….built like she’s 40ish. She admits the selfies she’s sent to her guy in Amsterdam is only from the chest up….and the top half appears to have been HEAVILY FILTERED…like she could teach Phaedra a thing or 2. Her future son is 20 something and appears to be a Calvin Klein model….seriously, this guy is smoking hot….like HOTTTTT.
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Here’s another picture of the type she sent to him…see what she did there?…with another picture of him, because, he’s HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
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This should be EPIC.

There’s also another couple who seem relatively normal…She’s Franch or something and has a “secret”. His mother is comic gold, seriously snarky and freaking him out before he left. How realtively normal are they? I can’t find a picture of them…not that I’m searching that hard, but still!

There are 2 or 3, I think, more couples coming up…..I cannot wait!

I can’t recap because it’s a Sunday show (and Monday’s are usually my travel days) but, OH BOY, we will be talking about this show!

What’s your weirdest dream?

So I have really weird dreams, sometimes I even wake up screaming. Last night, for the first time, I had sleep paralysis – which is not as much fun as they make it sound. I’m pretty sure I was neither abducted by aliens nor assualted by an incubus, I just needed to pee.

But later I had a really funny/weird dream, and I just wanted to share it because it makes me laugh.

I was in another city and I was car jacked. I don’t remember the actual car jacking, but according to the news report (yes, it was in my dream); I had gotten out of the car to look at a bathing suit in a store window when my car was jacked…by a bear – again, this was according to the news report. I was in the passenger seat – but I don’t recall the driver being a bear, so, fake news. We are driving down the highway and I’m fighting the driver (who I cannot describe because I don’t have any memory of what he looked like but it was not a bear) and we pass by 2 cops standing on the highway. I start shouting that I’ve been kidnapped and the cops look at me. The car is being driven so slowly that the male cop is able to run next to car and ask me questions. “What?” “Huh?” “That isn’t a bear!” and “Do you need help?” Then the female cop appears and starts to write a ticket to the driver, while I’m screaming that I’m being kidnapped and she keeps says “Ma’am, that isn’t a bear so no you’re not”. Then I woke up.

I think this dream means I have Mommy issues :).

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90 Day Fiance:Happily Ever After? An unofficial RANTcap

I know I’m not the official recapper, but I was literally screaming at my TV last night, and if my neighbors have to hear it, you have to read it.

First the easy stuff. Anfisa and Jorge are on a break. Either she threw him out (her story) or he left when it got heated and physical (his story). He also makes it very clear that Anfisa is violent, and she had bruises on her arm during one of her scene. It looks like he has moved in the Holiday Inn on the PCH in Newport Beach, only because I’ve stayed there ONCE. Good match. Um….predicted, and whatever.

Paola is dragging Russ all over Miami to meet her “modeling” people. He pushes her manager, and it turns out they have not performed any of the stuff they were supposed to when she PAID to be represented by them. It was actually funny….the rep said that Pao had been emailed access to the booking site, Pao said she got nothing, rep continues to insist she did….then checks….nope. The idiots decide to continue to work with this other idiot. I suppose they’ve already paid for TWENTY NINE year old Pao to START a US modeling career – where the median age for models is like 12…so whatever. And BTW, all this bitching about Russ losing his job….didn’t he technically QUIT because he couldn’t get the wedding day off? Again, a whole big bag of whatever.

Danielle and Mohammed…..yeah, still a shit show. Normal sized whatever package.

I don’t have much to say about Alexi and Loren. I still like them. His parents can migrate once Alexi gets his US Citizenship. BUT, his brother will be waitlisted for up to 18 years. WHAT? Why doesn’t he get a student visa and just overstay like everyone else? I’d make a joke about the San Antonio thing, but it’s too soon even for me. Tiny little thimble of whatever.

OK…..Chanfuckingtel, what an incredily stupid entitled, vapid, self-centered, nacissist she is. And now watching her family’s actions in DR, I completely understand how monsters are created. First of all, do some fucking research. YES, it is far cheaper to purchase things in the US, and YES, people from every fucking country in the fucking world bring all kinds of electronics home when they visit. What is NOT acceptable, is insisting your husband shop at FLEA MARKETS for gifts. Would Princess Chantel deign to use/wear anything she purchased from a Flea Market? How about her mommy? Would she Christmas shop for her extremely entitled family at one? Do you know who shops at Flea Markets? Danielle! That’s right you put your mother in law in the same box as crazy as fuck Danielle. BITCH, please. She’s all bitter as shit that he sends money home. Clearly Chanfuckintel never ventured out of the resort zones of the DR. It’s a poor country, and he’s the male of the family, it is, in fact, his CULTURE to do it. It’s expected. And rent is cheaper in the DR than in downfuckingtown Atlanta.
Not for nothing, but YOU (Chanfuckingtel) told us he works 2 jobs, you’re still a student. He’s the one with an actual college degree and he’s working as a dishwasher and in a warehouse. He’s earning money, keeping you housed, you have a new car, and YOU INSISTED ON A FUCKING DIAMOND RING, and you’re bitching that he sends money home?!?! And let’s talk about the credit thing from 2 episodes ago. You’re complaining that he doesn’t have credit? Seriously?!?!? He’s been here for just over a year, and was only recently able to start working those TWO JOBS, and you get alllllllll pouty about you having to use your credit to buy the ring that you’re insisting on?!?! But back to the big trip to the DR. His family is all pissy about not getting the TV (which is in fact bigger than hers), but I understand…he promised the TV and didn’t deliver it. I think they realised that it was bugging the shit out of her family which is why they kept it up. Not a good look, but considering how the Chantel family treats Pedro, I’m letting it slide. On the other hand, the brillance of serving chicken feet to her family is exceptionally snarky. Of course Mommatel can’t even think about eating at Mommaro’s (see what I’m doing here?). And BTW Daddytel, why the fuck are you wearing a brown corduroy BLAZER over a T-shirt? UGH. Now with the families in the new apartment, Mommatel gets all enlightened about the money being sent home, and the whole fuckingtel family is convinced that Pedro is using her for money….you know, when he’s working those TWO jobs. Fuckingtel family refuses to eat, accuses Mommaro of trying to voodoo hexes (isn’t that a Haiti thing? I didn’t know voodoo was big in the DR) and poisoning the food. Then Mommatel keeps bringing up the fact that Mommaro called them crazy, stupid Americans (which they kinda are). Context alert: Mommaro was calling them that because of the PreNup thing, not an “I hate her” thing. “Context”, fuckingtel family, it’s important. She was offended and insulted that you had disrespected her son by basically accusing him of marrying Chanfuckingtel for money….you know, all that money college student’s have, especially 2fucking6 year old college students. You know, like the reason he works TWO jobs. Then they very ungracefully leave. Next up they all pile into a van for the 5 hour trip to Pedro’s grandmother, who he is stupid exicted to see and have them meet her. The families all pretend to make up and play nice. (Side note: I had no idea the DR was that big). She basically lives in a shack. She’s cooking in an open couldron over a fire in the front yard. There are a bunch of people, and a couple of dogs around. Pedro jumps out to hug his grandmother who he hasn’t seen since he moved to the US to marry the crazy bitch. The ENTIRE fuckingtel family, including Chanfuckingtel, refuses to leave the van because of “this place is in despair”, “wild dogs” and “this is where the militia is”. I cannot make this stuff up. Clearly the fuckingtel family also doesn’t wander far from Atlanta either, because there are people living in America in the same exact state of poverty. You know, a farm, in the back country. Chanfuckingtel starts bitching, you know, to the family still locked in the van refusing to even get out to meet his grandmother, about the fact that she lives in “her kitchen” or as I call it in her “student studio apartment”. And the fugly mop-headed brother starts in with that Pedro is going to drain 26 year old student Chanfuckingtel’s money and go back to the farm in despair. And he’s using her to make money in the US. I can’t even with the cultural ignorance of these people….they are every single ugly American stereotype and extra, extra of it. Pedro tries to get them out of the car, but Mommatel just keeps telling him they’ll talk at the hotel. He is literally begging them to get out. He has to go back to the family and explain that they won’t get out. They all work themselves into a entitled tizzy and Chanfuckingtel finally exits the van. She immediately goes to the grandmother to introduce herself and apologise…just kidding, of COURSE she doesn’t do anything remotely having to do with graciousness and manners. She just got out to drag Pedro into the house to start a fight. She’s keeps saying she deserves a bigger apartment….he keeps trying to explain that rent is cheaper in DR. Of course she doesn’t get it, because she fundamentally thinks she’s better than him and everyone else. He tells her she has a new car and doesn’t really work, because she’s a 26 year old student. Pedro needs to understand that she CLEARLY married him, for him to work 2 jobs, get her a better apartment while she works on her 10+ year college plan. And for a girl who acts like she only speaks a bit of Spanish and doesn’t really know it, and doesn’t really understand it…she suddenly flips the switch and boy can she fight in Spanish. And in front of his entire famiy, you know, the ones that only speak Spanish. The fuckingtel family then say they think Pedro is being brainwashed (again, I cannot make this shit up) TAKES THE VAN AND LEAVES. You know, the van his family came in with them? Yeah, that van. We leave the happy couple with his family getting ready to go all kinds of Dominican. I can only hope. Let’s remember her family doesn’t trust him because of HER LIES. She made him lie, he didn’t want to. And Sistero don’t you call my country “Gringoland”, and please, please, please go all extra Dominican!!!!! And there’s my giantic box of whatever.