Before the 90

ANTONIO is a man whore, but I think once the cameras left, Courtney hit that.

Poor, poor, poor Larry. Cashes in his McDonalds 401(k) for an United economy ticket and a woman who can’t care less.

Paul and Marine just keeps getting more cringeworthy.



Project Runway S16/E4

We pick up this week immediately after the runway last week. The designers will be creating sleepwear for Heidi’s line. They also have to create their own textiles….by hand. The winner gets their look made for Heidi’s line. Inspiration will be sleeping out over night at the Empire State Building. They’re all excited, I’d be pissed and annoyed. Do they know how filthy that place is? Claire thinks it’s too high and is freaking out in the way only the twins do – which is the most fucking annoying way possible.

They all show up at the building dressed in pajamas. The building is gorgeous….but still hundreds if not thousands of people every single day walk through there. Claire is still freaking out. They go onto the observation deck and take in the view. And then roll out their sleeping bags….on the observation deck…that’s open to the wind. I would be screaming my head off pissed, it’s windy, it’s dirty….NO NO NO – the height doesn’t bother me, but the ick factor is very high for me. They get to sketching on the sketchy floor. Amy and her mullet are either faking sleep, or she smirks in her sleep….I’m going with faking.

Next moring, Tim shows up with breakfast. Wakes them up and sends them to the workroom. The all attack the fabric bolts and get to cutting, dying, and painting. The twins are both doing purple shades. It sounds like everyone is doing a design based off art deco – shocking. They’re all freaking out because it’s Heidi, y’all, and she’s brutal in her critiques.

Kentaro’s fabric is a mess….doing some kind of green fabric with purple finger painting on it? The twins do a talking head with their extremely affected vocal stylings. Have I mentioned yet that I hate the twins? Kenya is struggling. She can’t seem to paint. I can totally relate.

Here comes Tim and Heidi.

Shawn: Tim is surprised that she has something on the form. Heidi is being snarky about how much the twins talk. She’s making a jumpsuit….Heidi wants to know how you pee at night
Deyonte: Heidi is worried about design and color and that his design has arrows point down to the vejayjay and looks like a clown costume.
Ayana: is not doing modest. Because Muslims wear less inside. All see through with just a fabric swtch over the boobies.
Batani: Soft, flowy.
Margarita: Kimono type thing. Tim sees menstral cycle in her fabric painting….niiiiiiiiiiiiice.
Brandon: doing detactable pant legs.
Michael: doing strappy thing. Heirdi is worrioed about getting into it. He going for really fashionable.
Samantha: doing appliques. Heidi see tramp stamp.
Claire: inspired by purple and pink. Heidi not loving her painting style – she attempting (badly) making flowers with the fan brush.
Amy: Making panties. Tim and Heidi think they look like NY sovenir and that she took the inspiration too literal.
Kenya: Still struggling. 2 tone romper thing. Draping does not matchon her drawing – they love drawing, hate what is on the form. Heidi looks worried. Kenya is almost in tears. Tim tells her to redirect and Heidi says to go with her gut.
Kentaro: Pretty print, he’s being too much of a perfectionist.I think Tim has a crush on him.
Aaron: very art deco painting. It looks good. He’s going for komono. Amy and her mullet are talking smack on a talking head about Aaron’s painting making the fabric too stiff.

Back to everyone sewing, and talking and complaining about the make a fabric. Michael didn’t grab any paint in the beginning and no there are no colors left that he needs. I don’t know, I see a LOT of dye and paint on the table.

At some point Kentaro changed up his fabric and is now using like a silver color.

Interesting: The twinkies are talking and Baldy asks Hairy to sew her pant seams. So apparently Baldy can’t sew. Margaita notes that they are allowed to help each other, but the twins take it to the next level.

The all bitch about the cheap fabric and what a nightmare it is to work with.

Model fittings. Kenya draws blood on her model (very talk gorge chick with the wild hair). Now we have to listen to the models talk….I really don’t need to hear what the models think. I think it’s Kenya’s model who says the considered the “Naomi of Plus”, so I guess she’s a psychopath who treats assistants like shit. You, ma’am, are a coat hanger, I don’t want to hear what my coat hangers think or feel.

Twinkies back to helping each other. One of their models is complaining that one spent so much time helping the other, she felt neglected. Again, I’m sure my hangers feel neglected at times too, but I don’t care.

Deyonte has no dye and can’t figure out his design. Hairy twin is still bitching about the fabric. Blah blah blah. Everyone do the usual 3rd act freakout and complaining. Kenya is still freaking out.

Next day: Aaron arrives in completely sheer shorts and we can see his manties. Tim comes in with the usual 2 hour limits thing. Everyone is worries about time. Use JC Penny wall carefully (I can barely even type that without a smirk).

Baldy says the twinkies needs to focus on “helping you, so you can focus on helping me”. JFC this is entirely over the top…INDEED! They are doing the manic running around thing, screaming at each other.

Hangers arrive for fittings. I really like Ayana’s look. Into hair/makeup consults. Kentaro is dip dying his fabric with 1 hour left. Michael thinks his design is too simple. Kentaro cannot saying “anal” and it’s pretty funny. Amy being snarky about Deonte, and his design isn’t fabu.

Tim and the 10 minute warning. More twinkie consulting. Kenya notes they tag team so it’s only 50% Baldy 50% Hairy on both looks.

Every model Aaron has sent this season has had lines drawn on her face. This must stop. Kenya has threads hanging, she’s clearly not done.

Off to the runway: Guest Judge is Demi Lovato (inventor of the camel toe!) Is Demi pregnant? She looks…..bigger. Not fat shaming, much like most women, she looks better with a bit of meat, just noting is all.

Amy: Floor length gown. In blue with black lines. A neck so high it will choke you in your sleep. Ugly
Amy s16e4
Brandon: 2 piece gold. Crop top and flare high waisted pant.
Brandon s16e4
Margarita: This is really pretty color….base looks to be sage with blue edge dying. Wrap top and pants.
Margarita s16e4
Claire: Teenny tine shorts and wrap top in hot pink with a salmon shash and ties on the side for good measure. Fugly.
Claire s16e4
Batanti: Long strappy gown in a fantastic lavender color. The dye is kinda splattered on.
Batani s16e4
Michael: very art deco. Knee length in a rose color with white. Very strappy and looks good.
Michael s16e4
Deyonte: Wow, disappointing. I think it was white to start and dyed it teal, but it’s all splotchy. Gathered at the waist, high neck. This is not a good look, I’m guessing bottom. Oh, wait, she now unucks the top….and….it’s even worse. Tons of construction issues.
Deyonte s16e4
Aaron: 2 piece, with an open back halter. I like the textile and how it looks.
Aaron s16e3
Ayana: Beatiful red(?) komono, with beige 2 piece underneath. I’d totally wear this. Very nice.
Ayana s16e4
Shawn: Silver jumpsuit. Not horrible, better than Hairy’s. Claire sews really well.
Shawn s16e4
Kenya: Not horrible. Rose robe and romper with strappy top, with pink(?) shorts. Construction issues, yes, but not the worst I’ve seen this episode. Zac is giving it a hard look.
Kenya s16e4
Kentaro: Love the fabric, silver and his last minute dye job and painting looks good. It’s a strappy nighty, just hate the tie at the waist.
Kentaro s16e4
Samantha: oh this is good! Pants with strappy top and jacket. In a cream color with blue.
Samantha s16e4

Pausing for my top and bottoms.
Top: Samantha, Margarita, Ayana – Samantha for the win
Bottom: Claire, Deyonte, Kenya – Sadly, I think my boy Deyonte is going home :(.

Judges high/lows.
Aaron, Michael, Kantaro, Deyonte, Shawn, Kenya

Based on these, I still say Deyonte is going with Kenya in bottom 2. And I guess Aaron for the win.

Michael: They love. I would literally hang myself getting it on, but it’s pretty.
Aaron: They hate. Calling out his construction issues which now that we’re getting close ups are obvious. Wow, they really hate it. And Zac mentions his manties.
Shawn: Nina I think hates her, she’s giving her all kinds of side eye as she rambles on. They love the garment tho. Baldy’s shoes don’t match…who does that?!?!
Deyonte: They hate it. I do too. Poor Deyonte. He thinks untucked makes it sexy, she looks like a teal trash bag.
Kantaro: They love. It is really cute especially once the belt is released.
Kenya: They dislike it. Heidi asks the pee question again….considering that she’s popped out 47 kids, I’m not surprised she has potty emergencies. She got encouragement but she won’t be winning this week.

Construction checks. Michael’s they love even more up close. Shawn’s and Tim was “stunned that it was hers” (snark!!!). Kentaro’s Zac says technically it’s amazing, “femine not girly”. Aaron’s got the inexpesive from Nina, and it’s completely unfinished, he just tucked it in to make it look like it was. Deyonte’s they hate even more. Hate the sleeves, shapless, Heidi doesn’t hate the color. Kenya: They don’t get the neckline. She “atleast attempted design”, but with lots of flaws.

Winner: Michael
Auffed: Deyonte

Can’t say I disagree with the outcome. Poor Deyonte, he was my pick for winner this season.

Sorry for any typos. Why can’t I find how to do a spell check on WordPress?

Football, bitches!!!

It’s kick off day!!!! I’m a huge football fan! Today my beloved Patriots start the “kicks for six”….thats my term for this season, last year was the drive for five, I’m hoping it catches on.

With the whole hanging the fifth banner and all, my Project Runway recap will be ever so slightly delayed (you know, the recap I already haven’t written for 2 weeks? Yeah, that one!)

Are you a football fan? I will keep this post all season for trash talk! I totally love, and encourage, football trash talk so have at it! The only rule is don’t get all butt hurt, it’s all in good fun.

This week, the Pats take on the KC Chiefs. Easy win! KC has too many chiefs and not enough football players!

Here’s to a great season!

The Murder of Laci Peterson

I’ve been binge watching since I got home. So far I’ve seen nothing that convinces me of his guilt, in fact, the more I watch, the more convinced I am that he didn’t do it.

The lack of evidence, no crime scene anywhere. His “boat” is basically a dinghy, there is little chance that he could dump a body attached to a concrete anchor without capsizing. Another person at the dock saw him take the boat out and saw nothing in the boat. Someone was on the computer at the house looking at women’s clothing after Scott left when the prosecution insists that she was killed the night before.

Have you been watching? What’s your thoughts?

Before the 90

This is hopefully going to be short. Please comment if you’re watching along; if no one is watching, I’ll stop RANTcapping.

We start with creepy Paul and Karine. She wants to go swimming in the very, very dangerous water. He’s so neurotic that it’s even bugging her. They pass the phone back and forth to discuss his extensive list of concerns. She puts on a bikini, he’s rocking a “Cooling Vest”, socks, and sandals to walk to the river. He goes to port a potty and puts on: penis sheath (to protect from the penis fish), life vest, and some kind of waders. She is all “oh hell no” with the outfit. Then Paul starts calling the AMAZON “poop water”. His waders completely filled with water, so way to go with protection, and he could barely make it out of the river. They plan to go to a bigger city to finish out the rest of the trip. He’s going to ask Dad if he can marry her first.

Now we meet Larry, 37, from Florida and a Manager at McDonalds. He’s got 2 boys from different mothers. He’s got a really thick accent (Long Island maybe?), bald, and kinda looks like Bat Boy.

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He met Jenny on Filapino Cupid. He’s never been out of the country, so he’s heading to the Philippines with a ring. He described the ring as a sapphire to the camera. He goes and meets the boys to tell them and describes the ring as a “blue emerald”. The boys are dubious, but just want Dad happy. The younger son can’t even look at his father. I don’t know if he’s embarassed for him, or for himself, or if he just doesn’t like Dad very much (and who at 15 really liked either of their parents?).

Patrick is dying his tips bleached as he speaks to his Mom about Miriam. I don’t know where they found all these snarky parents this season, but I’m digging them. If they’re this snarky on camera, I can only wonder how great they are off camera. He’s concerned that he’s not Muslim, that she’s married, or a lesbian. Mom says “or she’s a man”. He says he doesn’t know how to ask if someone is really a woman, Mom comes back with “Wee-Wee Pee-Pee?” And her laugh is contagious. He heads off to the airport determined to make Miriam his.

Now off to Haiti and “not Chris” and Abby. He found her on Carribean Cupid. Her body language is seriously odd. And they talk about sex….she says he did good after she told him what she likes (I’m just going to drop this right here) he “did good”. The look on her face, however, says “not so much”. Chris, I mean Sean, thinks Abby hasn’t been completely truthful about her relationship with Chris. Abby actually says she doesn’t want to chose between Chris and Sean. So I’m guessing she like threesomes (picking it back up :)). Later will meet her parents….and I know a lot of Haitians, he better up his respect game or her father will beat the shit out of him. Haitians are seriously all about respect and if you cross that line, you are done.

Of note, I got a snarky text last night asking why none of these parents speak English. I cannot agree more….learn English people! If I wanted to read, I’d get a book. The problem here completely is that old white Americans are going off to find child brides in foreign lands and those girls can’t be bothered to learn English during 6 years they go to school! They should atleast know the word “whatever”.

Back to Larry, who texts Jenny good morning. She texts back that she’s still working because it’s night-time there. She apparently contacted him from his profile, which got tons of hits as soon as he posted it. Then, while trying to show producers Jenny’s picture, found out she had been active on Filipino Cupid in the past week. Apparently, the rule is if you log into it you’re looking. So her texts her, she doesn’t immediately respond, so he calls her. She answers clearly in bed….so is she working or is she sleeping? She says her phone opened the app by itself. I can buy that, my phone opens apps all the time….it doesn’t automatically log into apps, but I suppose it can happen. He looks crushed but still plans on going. Kahit ano.

Paul and Karine take a boat to a tribal village, they do a show just for them it appears. She’s excited that he isn’t scared and lets them paint his face. He is going to ask her parents for permission before they leave the village. Some how he has managed to learn to tell her that he’s going to speak to her father in Portugese, but not learned to ask her father for permission. Dad is all kinds of annoyed with the mute. After some really phonically read Portguese, Dad asks for glasses so he can read the stupid app. Paul then goes on to pantamime proposing, and does the finger hole thing. You know, THAT finger hole thing (ok with one hand, over the index finger of the other), which means a whole different thing than pretending to put a ring on the ring finger.

Back from commercial, and Jose hasn’t killed Paul yet. Gets his readers, reads the phone, rolls his eyes, calls over Mom. Mom reads the phone, rolls her eyes, dies a little on the inside, and says yes.

In Haiti, it’s Flag Day, which Sean, I mean Chris, I mean Sean compares to the 4th of July. He’s older than Abby’s mom. They head to her parent’s house. He tries to introduce himself, but because he hasn’t bothered to learn a lick of Haitian Creole, he begs Abby to translate. Her parents are already pissed. Apparently a lot of white American men show up for a week and he never returns. Mom looks like she wants to scratch his eyes out, Dad and brothers hate him. Mom won’t even look at him, and Dad is just staring daggers. I really can’t blame them….creepy old guy shows up, take their daughter to a hotel on day 1, and claims he wants to marry her. Peu importe.

Patrick looks like he’s wearing a blazer, and unfortunately forgot his shirt (I’ve seen a lot in my travels, but who does that?!?!). Mirium is pretty, and bonus, speaks English, but still gets subtitled. She contacted him, thinks he looks like Chris Brown (more Odell Beckham, Jr). They show her walking around Paris, she never really expected him to come, and someone has a secret. A word about her outfit: No hajib, spaghetti strap tank top, and a sweater wrap…..I think her secret is that she’s not really Muslim. He is instantly in love. They do make a really cute couple. She’s stressed that he’s there, worried about the secret. She thinks he will be mad and want to go home. ‘ayaan kan

And now this is morning after Karine finds the pregnacy test. She’s pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssed. Asks why he doesn’t trust her. He says a previous girlfriend got pregnant, claimed it was his, it wasn’t, so did some things that got him in trouble – like burnt her house down, ALLEGEDLY. She’s all “tanto faz, I’ll take your tests”. I really don’t know what she sees in him, you know, other than the Green Card. Can’t wait to see what happens when she learns he’s an arsonist and stalker….ALLEGEDLY.

Next week, Catfish, voodoo, and Dutch truth. Wat dan ook.

Sorry for spelling errors, 3 times with a proofread and now I’m all about whatever.

90 Day Finance Before the 90

OK, so I’m home now, and finally watching. Just commenting on it, not really recapping. I’m not googling correct spelling of names, huked on fonix werks fur me! Hope you enjoy it!

First up, Darcey and son. They feel compelled to tell us they had sex. Yeah, thanks. She gets far too made up to go see his parents, doesn’t sound like he made it clear that his Mom and Step-Dad are hippy-hippies, like the King and Queen of the Hippies. At parents house, it got lots of hippy “art” and shit hanging from the plants in the courtyard. Darcey knows she’s in trouble. Yuck factor of 7.

Creepy Paul finally goes in Karine’s house and meets her parents. Her Dad is hysterical with all his comments because creepy doesn’t speak the Portuguese. He calls him “the mute”, Dad and I are going to get along just fine. She gives him the tour and her bedroom is like she’s 12. Stuffed animals and rainbows all over the place. Makes Paul even more creepy. He also seems to be surprised that when you get a village only accessible by boat, you don’t get A/C and windows. He asks her ex-cop Dad if he can bring her to a hotel, and all while keep her honor. Creepy factor of 12.

Next we meet Patrick. His beloved is a Muslim from France (not to be confused with the Coneheads from France). She’s gorg! He is all about showing his daughter to not be a player, but willing to show that it apparently ok to show her that there aren’t any good women in America to marry, up to and including her mother. Peu importe.

After commercial, Courtney and her catfish. SHe actually says “I’ve never had a man who makes me feel the way” he does….she’s never once spoken with him on Skype or the phone. They text, that’s it. Girl needs the Tinder app, or is it Grindr? I always get those 2 confused because….old. This woman admits that she’s been catfished before, but thinks this one is the real deal. SO she’s flying thousands of miles to Spain for someone she has never actually spoken too. This is one seriously fucking stupid chick. Her parents are dubious and look like they can’t believe that they raised someone who could be this dumb – they are trying to not laugh at her. They want contact information, Courtney will text them with the information. This idiot is already planning the wedding. She’s going with no reservations, she’s hoping to crash on his couch. She is going to end up cut into tiny little pieces. She should spend her plane fare on getting her gums fixed. Stupid factor off the charts.

Back to hippy castle. Dave the step Dad is…..yikes, wow, I can’t even. Mom looks like Betsy Johnson, not exactly a compliment. Now we get Mom bashing ‘mericans, but she’s willing to try with Darcey. Mom’s thinks they can work. The are you out of your mind is about Darcey saying they’ve already picked out kids names. Dave, I’m with you Hippy King. Mesmerizing, I can’t even type. Dave goes on to say that Jesse is out of her league and Jesse’s stuttering; clearly he also is as visually assaulted by the Hippy King as I am.


This picture does absolutely no justice to how much more extra this guy is.

After the commercial Jesse gets his thoughts together and the best he can come up with “nobody’s perfect”. Talking head Darcey is crushed. I feel really bad for her….see! I told you I do too have that empathy thing.

Back to Paul at the “Hotel Rei Davi”, I don’t think I can book it with my Hilton points, so, bummer, I don’t think I’ll be vacationing in the land of Yellow Fever. But should you want to visit, here’s tripadvisor reviews.

They drag his 8,000 pounds of shit up the stairs, and then he makes her wait while he gets things “ready”. He got her more stuffed animals, food, and toys….super duper creepy. He put a tent on the big double bed, he’s calling it mosquito net, but we all know he just wanted to build a fort. Yuck, yuck, yuck, now he’s talking about sex. NO NO NO. She actually wants a kiss. I’m completely creeped out. He wants a pregnacy and STD tests on her before banging. Tell her, in the translate app, that he wants to wait for sex. She actually really wants it, and now she feel rejected….BY THIS FREAKY LITTLE CREEP. I can’t…….thank God for commercials. There is easily 10 minutes of them so cleanse my eyes.

Patrick’s ex shows up with Italy, his daughter, who is adorable. Camo, the ex, is almost laughing. He wants her opinion on the whole thing. She is more concerned about how she fits into the picture than anything about him. He doesn’t even know if Miriam’s parents know about him. Miriam is Muslim, and he thinks her parents won’t accept him because he’s not – but in her picture she’s in public, not wear a hajib….so take that as you will.

Back to sad town and Jesse and Darcey. She whispers that she loves him, and he kinda annoyed responds that he loves her too. They talk about the beating she just took, but he doesn’t seem to realise how much of a beating she just took. She tries to talk about the out of his league comment and Jesse tells her to ask Dave. He really doesn’t get it…..I don’t think this is cultural, I think he’s just a dick. He’s parsing her words and tossing them back at her. She says something about if marries someone else because it doesn’t work out, he starts badgering her about “how would not work out” and how she’s all insecure and jealous.

And this shit show is over. Next week Paul whips out his…………pregnancy test. Mark meets the family. Patrick flys to Paris to meet the bareheaded Mirium. We get another new guy.

Project Runway S16/E01

DISCLAIMER: Yeah, I’ve been day drinking, so it is what it is. General impressions, and stuff.

First to enter is the twins….yeah, I still hate them. Then Deyonte….his wife is thisclose to delivering. And then everyone else arrives….blah blah blah. Twins thinks it’s their job to host and intimidate all the other contestants….have I mentioned that I hate the twins?

First challenge:
Project Runway bus enters the building and off jumps Tim and Heidi. Tim calls this their sweet sixteen….Heidi wants a coursage. Kenya already crying.

Tim tells them challenge begins now. “Worn by the stars”, so it’s a red carpet look with your design asthetic. First, the models…..they are curvacious. Nice….skinny to plus…in fashion plus is usually an 8, but here they go up to 22. Heidi: Truth of fashion is one size does not fit all.

Models head to assigned designer, every challenge they get a different designer. SWEET.

One day, and $300, for this challenge. Measure up your model and Brandon has a plus size model, which should be challenging for a menswear designer. She is gorgeous….sketch time!

Have I mentioned that I hate the twins? If not, I hate the twins.

Commercial: And I will be skipping through the Mood orgasm….yeah, we would all go completely insane at Mood, 16 seasons, we’ve seen it. Instead I’ll open wine!

Off to the standard PR workroom….find your spot, so twims STFU and get to work. Brandon is still bumming over his model….this pisses me off. Get over it, if you can’t design for a woman of size, find another career.

Twins talk more, and guess what? I still hate them.

Sentell went to a psychic (or oracle as he calls it) and she told him to design. My psychic told me to be a psychic….so there ya go.

ChaCha is having a problem with patterning…which he admits is the whole purpose of the competion. Calls his model fat. I will still stalk him, but I will sit on him when I find him.

Tim comes in:
Kenya, calls herself a short bald girl from Atlanta. Love her. Beautiful white dress

Amy: professor: wrap skirt (disappointed)

Aaron: sounds like a tux, Tim hates it but after description loves it

Samantha OK, (yeah basically OK)

Kentauro trained pianist…execution is limp, that’s what he wants

Margartia…adding color to make it look margarita

Chacha designs for Ariana Grande types….Tim is thinking…I am considering slapping as opposed to sitting on him….but I think getting sit on by a fat chick will humilate him more…take this butter, bitch! Tim tells him to commit or not

Claire, twin with hair…she talks more about her twin than herself. HATE THEM BOTH. She’s going sheers….in pink….Amy, notes the OVER ANNOUNCIATING thing, that makes everyone hate them so much….sooooo fucking pretentious

Bald twin…clean sporty siloutte….I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THIS BULLSHIT….she keeps saying “INDEED”

Kudzani…TIm is crazy about it

Michael: going for a sense of tacky

Ayana says that people think that modest is considered boring or dated, Tim disagrees…I agree

Sentell: thinking cropped pants, Tim: be careful it makes a woman look shorter

Bantani is all about the appliques. Tim feels like it’s all about the embellishments what’s left after that?

Deyonte…has a flower print…it’s kind loud. Tim thinks a serious problem with large scale print but loves it in this case….(he’s done a good job with this….line it up properly)

Brnadon seems so basic in execution that it has to be impecable. He doesn’t know how he’s going to get this done.

They check into whatever hotel/condos have paid for the promotional this season….twins WON’T STOP FUCKING TALKING. Burning fire of 1,000 suns level of hatred.

Model fittings, makeup and hair. TWINS KEEP TALKING. LMK if you want to know the actual styling of the models….I’m skipping it this week.

Chacha…AMY: “Big funny little mess, kinda like Chacha” Agree….a little too much Big Top PeeWee for me.

RUNWAY: I’ll grab as many pics as I can, I kinda wanna watch Big Brother eviction this week so it is what is it….so if I find them, great, if not, hope y’all like to Google! 😛

Guest Judge is Olivia Munn (who?), and Heidi needs a bra. This year in addition to all the other crap they get is a JC Penny line….I thought JCP was going OOB (out of business), and also a trip to Japan….apparently to make up for making a line at a company that is OOB.

Kenya – White with pockets…like it. A little wonky in the boobs, but nice
Kudzanai – Kinda Kimono, in red…not entirely ugly
Ayana – Grey with a flower….she loves the fabric, I think it looks cheap
Shawn – I did mention this is red carpet, right? She goes with Silver hot pants, and a cropped one shoulder with a cape-let thing. HIDEOUS, she thinks it’s balanced and edgy
Batani – first of the larger models…grey and tight and ucky, makes her normal size model look fat, FAT, F-A-T!
Claire – Orange and nude ballerina thing….not as ugle as the other twin
Brandon – not horrible. Salmon coloured maxi skirt with big slit and camo cropped top.
ChaCha – short dress with a clown neck, Zac lookds like he loves it (but maybe he’s just laughing)
Amy – she made like a long coat over a bikini top and pants. Jacket turns into a skirt over pants. I don’t get it. But she has a skinny model so it looks ok.
Sentell – looks kinda like Mars meets colour blind. Bad, bad, bad. F U G L Y
Kentaro – this is fabulous. Black top with tiers, and white skirt. Moves really well
Deyonte – love it…very floral, but he matched the print very well
Michael – went with a pin-stripe fabric with one of those off the shoulder/halter tops in sparkles. Shocked, but I like it
Aaron: ummm…how do I describe this? Kind of a tube top with a collar (there’s a line leading up to her neck to connect the 2)…kinda BDSM with an oversized white pants. Not a complete disaster. I hate her makeup
Samantha – she made a pretty tea length black dress with an empire waist and leather embellishments. Pretty, but boring
Margarita – Red pantsuit with sheer capelet. Model is walking FIERCE, Love it

I pause live TV to make my picks:
My bottom 3: Aaron (not horrible but just weird), Sentell, ChaCha. Sentel goes home.
My top 3:Deyonte, Margarita, Kenya….Margarita for the win.

Back to live:
Judges 6:
Batani, Deyonte, ChaCha, Shawn, Kenya, Brandon. (not Sentel!?!?! WTF)

Kenya: They love
Shawn: They have mixed. Olivia likes it, but thinks it would look bad on her.
Heidi doesn’t love, Zac thinks it’s club kid, Nina thinks shorts suck
ChaCha: They hate…totally not shocked. No ones understands it…nor do I.
Deyonte: They like
Brandon: They like
Batani: She’s totally going home…she admits she camouflaged the model’s figure. It is illfitting and ugly. Memo: Fat Chicks don’t want panty lines.

Oh good, next week is not only a team challenge but also an unconventional challenge (#1 unconventional, remember, I’m out at 3 of them)….please kill me. Guess both the fucking twins make it, because they’re in the previews for next week. For the record, I hate the twins.

Winner: Deyonte (it was really nice)
Safe: Kenya, Brandon,
Bottom: Shawn (has potential “Indeed”)
Out:ChaCha (called it)

Will add pics as I find them. Can’t say I disagree. Off to BB Double Eviction.

90 Day Freaks, before the 90 days

Episode 2 was a couple of days ago, sorry about the delay, but, work and shit.

Soooooooooo…..Darcy and Jesse. He seems like a really nice, genuine guy. If it’s all for real, she is a very lucky woman. His friends are snarky as hell and I want to hang out with them. He cleared out half of his closet for her!
She got her Louboutin’s stuck in the escalator at the airport and destroyed one of them. He showed up with a sash and flowers. He was clearly very happy to see her. It was surreal and nice at the same time.

Paul, the weird guy with multiple felonies, makes it to Brazil. Before boarding the boat, he gets searched by Brazilian police. TLC tries to do a cliff hanger of the drug dog alerting on one of his 8 bags, but they would have turned it into an episode of “Locked Up Abroad” instead, so I know it’s nothing bad. While I’m hoping it’s one of his mosquito net onsies, it’s his OTC cough drops and they let him keep ’em. *YAWN*. Because that flop of a cliff hanger, TLC leaves us with Paul at the dock, with little cellular service, waiting for Karine for over 45 minutes.

And the bestestest couple of this episode goes to Sean and Abby. Before he arrives, Abby is hanging with her girlfriends talking about Sean and Chris. Chris is this creepy old guy, even creepier than Sean, who is her “friend”. Sean is seriously worried about this relationship and wants to meet Chris before moving forward with Abby. Abby is telling her friends that she wants to keep Chris as a friend. One of them asks why. Abby responds that “he teaches her things”. The friend is side-eyeing and rolling so hard, I can hear it through the TV. Once Sean unloads all of those panties, he heads out of the airport to finally meet Abby. BTW, THIS IS HAITI. Sean is wearing a baby blue cardigan over a plaid shirt. The average daily tempurate in Haiti is between 70-80, and he’s wearing a sweater. He’s also shocked by the poverty. Way to do some research! Abby brought a friend with her to the airport. Sean walks up, hugs her, and immediately tells Abby he loves her in Haitian Creole. After a significant pause, Abby says she loves him too. They get into a car and drive off. I’m not completely sure where the friend wandered off to, but haven’t seen her anywhere since Sean walked up. Probably left her on the floor laughing her ass off, for reelz. At some point the producers take Abby aside for an interview about Sean. She’s talking and says (this is a direct quote) “I can’t wait to start my relationship with Chris”. The producer says “it’s Sean”. Abby is totally busted, looks guilty, and finally decides she had better cry. GOLD! TLC has struck gold, I tell you!!! I’ve looked for a clip of it, but can’t find it.

If you haven’t watched it, watch it just for the clip of Abby getting his name wrong….