What’s annoying you?

Let’s use this thread to post about what’s really pissing you off and annoying you.

I’ll start:

  1. This effing heatwave. It’s been 105+ every day since Saturday and tomorrow is supposed to be 110+.
  2. While I think I killed all the mice, last Friday night, I found a dead rat under the dishwasher and totally freaked out. Of course, I was the only one home and had to deal with it.
  3. MY AIR CONDITIONING WENT OUT LAST NIGHT and the home warranty people have no idea when they can send someone out to fix it because all their contractors are booked solid BECAUSE OF THIS DAMN HEATWAVE.

I’m over being responsible. Can I just pack up my family and find a deserted island and live in a hut on the beach?

P.S. We are out of the house until the a/c is fixed. I will try to log into my DVR to watch RHOP and recap, but I can’t make any promises.


Real Housewives of Potomac: Welcome to the Bermuda Triangle (Part Two)

Picking up from where I stopped last night… 

Robyn, Charrisse, and Ashley are off to the beach, while Karen, Gizelle and Monique are off to play sailor on team Japan’s Americas cup sailboat.

After the commercial break, Karen, Gizelle, and Monique are on the bus to the harbor. Karen is trying to get Monique and Gizelle to talk. Monique tries to engage Gizelle who responds with “without your husband and his money, you wouldn’t be here.” Monique is not okay with that. Monique says Gizelle is jealous, and in her talking head Gizelle says she’s not. Those green eyes of hers are the eyes of jealousy. That’s why her eyes are so green.

At the resort, Ashley, Robyn, and Charrisse meet up for the beach. Apparently, they didn’t know the others weren’t joining them. Charrisse snarkily explains that Karen planned an excursion for her, Monique and Gizelle because Monique and Gizelle needed to bond. Robyn, Ashley and Charrisse are not okay with it and decide to have more fun.

Karen, Monique and Gizelle arrive at the harbor and meet up with the American guy who is on Team Japan. Lol. They get on the boat, which means they are on the net on the side. So awesome. I’ve done that in Hawaii and it’s so relaxing. I can pretty much guarantee that it won’t be relaxing for them. Lol. Monique admits she’s afraid of water and doesn’t swim well.

Ashley, Charrisse, and Robyn go jet skiing. If you have never done it, I suggest you do. It’s hella fun.  We do it in Lake Tahoe all the time and that water is FREEZING COLD! Ashley and Robyn take off and Charrisse is tootling along with, as Robyn says, the emergency brake on.

Back with Team Japan, the ladies have changed into wetsuits and helmets and are on their way out to the main boat. Man, they are on for a surprise. That boat is going to fly across the water and I bet the skipper makes them work. It looks like fun, though. Monique says she’s scared and Gizelle is encouraging her and saying it’s okay. I think it’s getting a little cold in hell. It’s Monique’s turn and she’s so scared. She gets on and is moving across when in slow motion it shows her being pushed by the boom (I think that’s what it’s called).

Commercial break 4 — 19 minutes to go: mouse update, we are up to 6. No new bodies in the garage when I got home. So either there weren’t any today or they were already picked up. I also called the gardener and left a message. If he doesn’t call me back by tomorrow, I will call again.

Back in Bermuda, Monique gets hit with the boom and isn’t thrown off the boat. Nice recovery.  Karen and Gizelle are so proud of her.  Gizelle gives Monique a hug when she gets back on the pilot boat and Karen is over the moon about it. Don’t get too excited. I have a feeling it’s not going to last.

At the beach, Robyn, Ashley and Charrisse are chatting and Robyn asks Ashley about the restaurant and Michael. Ashley fills them about the fight before the dinner at the restaurant. Robyn is trying to get to the bottom of the issue. There’s actual serious talk about how strongly Ashley feels about staying with Michael. She says she doesn’t want kids right now. Sounds to me like there’s trouble in paradise.

Back on the bus, Karen, Monique, and Gizelle are congratulating themselves for getting past the Gizelle and Monique issue. Gizelle says the next issue to tackle is the Karen and Charrisse issue. Gizelle makes some good points about Karen not letting Charrisse be a giver. Monique and Gizelle sort of gang up on Karen and mention all the things Charrisse is dealing with. Gizelle says Karen needs to be nice to Charrisse and let up a little.

In Charrisse’s room, she, Robyn and Ashley are with Gregory, Charrisse’s makeup artist. She’s left Karen, Monique and Gizelle notes inviting them on a sunset cruise, that is leaving in 30 minutes. Haha… That’s a little passive aggressive, making it a tough timeline for them. I think that’s mostly about Karen and not Gizelle or Monique. Charrisse, Robyn and Ashley talk about Karen’s boat party last year and Ashley calls it “janky.” Ha! It was kind of lame. Wow. They are totally talking behind Karen’s back and Ashley and Charrisse nominate Robyn to go talk to Karen and let her know that what she did was not okay.

Commercial 5 — 9 minutes to go: I’ve decided Sacramento is the outer ring of hell. It’s supposed to be 100 tomorrow and 107 by Sunday. That really sucks because for Father’s Day, we are going to the Sacramento River Cats (S.F. Giants’ AAA team) game. And of course it’s a 1pm game. I’m going prepared with sunscreen, hats, water, misters, and ice packs. We’re taking my parents and going as a family.  My electric bill is going to be so high from using the air conditioner!!

In Karen’s room, she’s getting ready and Robyn arrives. Robyn’s dress is gorgeous. Robyn immediately asks Karen why the eff she ditched her, Ashley and Charrisse. Karen is already annoyed and argumentative. Robyn isn’t letting her off the hook. Robyn is basically calling Karen fake. There’s a whole exchange where as Robyn leaves the room they are both blowing each other off with the fake niceties. Man, I can’t wait for next week when they show the boat trip!

The production crew leaves Karen’s room to let her get ready and Karen is still talking about how jealous Charrisee is. KAREN YOU ARE STILL MIC’D UP.

Oh man, the previews for next week are so good! The ladies are gunning for Karen. I love it!!!

Thanks again for indulging me with this spilt recap. I really appreciate it! See you next week!

The Real Housewives of Potomac: Welcome to the Bermuda Triangle (Part One)

Once again, I apologize for my lack of recapping last week. It was such a hectic week. Also, please forgive me for splitting the recap in two. There were a few reasons: 1) It took me an hour and a hlaf to get through 30 minutes of this shit show, 2) I couldn’t take it anymore, and 3) it’s 10:40 p.m. and I am tired. I’ll do part two tomorrow!

For those of you keeping up, last week on The Real Housewives of Potomac:

Karen brought Gizelle and Monique together at a lunch to talk things out. Monique brought Charrisse with her as back up.

Robyn started therapy.

Monique threw Milani a carnival party for her first birthday. This occurred at the Samuels’ lake house two hours out of town and everyone BUT Gizelle was invited

Ashley and Michael played Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze from Ghost and made clay pots. Michael made a sexual innuendo comment. He’s gross. Ashley doesn’t want a baby right now

Karen decided the ladies needed a trip, so asked Charrisse to help her plan a trip to Bermuda. Charrisse took that to mean “co-host” and was put in her place by Karen

Oh, and big news of the episode – The Hugers sold their house… but they have nowhere to live yet.

Now, let’s get to the Bermuda trip!

But first, Gizelle is cooking with her daughters. She does seem to be a good mom. Her mom is coming to stay with the girls while Gizelle is in Bermuda, so they are preparing for that. Gizelle’s mom grills her about her dating life. Gizelle has actually decided to break up with Kevin and doesn’t want to tell her mom since her mom loves him so much. Gizelle tells her mom and surprisingly, her mom is supportive of the decision.

As they eat dinner, Gizelle lays down the rules for while she’s gone. Rule number 1: Work on a book report. Rule number 2: Call her twice a day. Rule number 3: Remember to brush your teeth. The girls try to negotiate with her, but she’s not having it. Grandma says there are no rules and the girls are excited about that. Gizelle says she’ll run the house from Bermuda. Gizelle says she’s looking forward to the trip, except for Monique. Cue flashbacks to Monique’s game night. She says oh well, she’ll deal with it.

At the Dixon house, Robyn is cooking and the boys are punching each other. What is it about boys that they have to punch each other all the time? Lordy! Haha! One has more eggs than the other. Robyn has decided not to tell Juan about the assignment her therapist gave her – go out on three dates. She thinks Juan won’t want to hear about it and wouldn’t want her to go. OMG! The older boy just told her to get her hairline fixed and that her wig looks ugly. LOL! Robyn goes to lie down as her son says “girl, bye!”

At the Huger home, it’s 5:30 a.m., and Karen is just getting ready to leave for Bermuda. DBBG asks her if she’s got everything and if she has a couple credit cards. She says yes, his. LOL. In the car, she thinks it’s the last time she’ll see the house and DBBG says she’s escaping all the work. Karen says she packed one crystal cabinet. They’ve found a house in Great Falls, Virginia. Sidenote: WHY DON’T THESE PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIVE IN POTOMAC???? CALL IT DC, FFS. OR, YOU KNOW… LIVE IN THE TOWN IN THE TITLE! Sorry. Moving on… she hasn’t told the girls yet. Question – now that I’m watching, how is it 5:30 a.m.? It’s pitch black. Here, at 5:30 a.m., there’s some light as the sun comes up. Is it that dark at 5:30 a.m. where you all are? Well, except for the Arizona and Hawaii people, who don’t observe DST… and people outside of the U.S.

Karen is taking about Charrisse thinking she’s a co-host and how Charrisse is wrong. LOL. Oh, it’s getting a little light. But still though…

The ladies arrive at the airport. Charrisse takes a Lyft and looks in her wallet for cash for a tip, but #richpeopleproblems, she only has 50s. So she gives one to the driver. She meets up with Karen for fake hellos. Oh Lord, she mentioned Sha Sha.

The ladies all arrive and board the plane. Monique plans on getting wasted. They arrive in Bermuda to a sign that says “Huger and guests.” Charrisse snarks that is should say “Jordan” and Ashley is “utterly confused” as to who is hosting this event. Bermuda is gorgeous!!! On the bus, they mention that it’s Charrisse’s birthday, but Charrisse mentions that the day before was her and Eddie’s anniversary and she texted him. Haha

At the resort, the ladies check in and Karen says she’s planned a dinner for them. They all go to their rooms. Karen has welcome baskets in the rooms with a note signed by her only. The ladies are confused as to why Charrisse isn’t included and discuss it amongst themselves. Ashley and Monique press Charrisse for info, and Charrisse wonders if there’s a basket in her room. She’s annoyed that Karen is actively excluding her and playing games.

OMG, FINALLY!!!! A commercial. Good Lord, I feel like this show should be almost over. LONGEST. INTRO. EVER. 51 minutes to go.

You guys… I’m in the middle of a war. We have MICE! They have eaten through two, TWO!!!, plastic bins of dog food, so I had to buy a metal kitchen trash can to put the food in. We got a couple of those traps where the mice can crawl in and get the poison and can’t crawl out. However, these effing mice are getting out. Fine, at least they are eating the poison. The downside to that is that I’ve now found 5 mice barely alive on the garage floor. They have been scooped up, put in paper bags, and thrown in the trash. The bad thing is trash day isn’t until Monday, so I really hope they don’t start to smell once they die. Also, I can’t clean this house enough. I feel like they are here because the house is dirty. I know that’s not the case (it’s because of the overgrown backyard), but still. I made a joke about wanting to leave the tiny carcasses where they lay as a message to the other mice. Because of that, I was compared to the Lannisters in Game of Thrones. LOL. I am now Mad Queen Cersei. Haha…. My family thinks they are comedians.

Anyway, back to the shit show going on in Bermuda.

Back in Bermuda, Charrisse opens the door to her room and holy crap, it’s a loft suite! It’s gorgeous and amazing and I want to live there. There is a basket for Charrisse.

Robyn and Gizelle are talking and the conversation leads to Monique. Robyn says (in her talking head) that it’s stupid. Grow up, ladies. Karen is flirting with the bellhop. The ladies head down to dinner. WTF is Gizelle wearing? Hot pink shorts, a black top and knee high boots? WTF? Karen arrives in a horrible dress/moomoo. OMG, she’s hired a dance troop. Charrisse arrives as the dancers are there and dances in with them. LOL. At least she’s having fun. This brings all the other ladies out to dance. They sit down and order drinks and appetizers. Karen mentions it would be nicer if there was a fan above them and Charrisse snarks that if Karen had worked with her, there would have been a fan. Karen’s eyes are rolling so far back in her head. Monique mentions that she was surprised that the gift wasn’t from both Karen and Charrisse and Karen says that it’s only from her because it’s what she does as the host. Good Lord, these women. Karen climbs up to her ivory tower and looks down at the ladies. Ashley throws out my favorite quote of the episode (and we haven’t even had two commercial breaks yet): “Girl, you sure are sweatin a little bit… like a ho in church.”

Karen’s insistent that it’s “their trip” and throws enough attitude to make it awkward. Charrisse says she’s excited they are all together, and that hasn’t happened since Milani’s party. And now the discussion about why Gizelle wasn’t invited. Monique says it was Milani’s birthday and christening and she didn’t want it to be weird. Gizelle says she wouldn’t have come anyway. So much attitude from Gizelle.

The ladies chat and Robyn tells them about the therapist’s dating assignment. Karen snarks in her talking head about it. Monique tells the ladies the Potomac house closes the next day and she’s got to start packing. Karen finally tells the ladies the house sold and….

Commercial 2 – 39 minutes to go: During the cleaning frenzy, I moved the furniture around in the living room. There are two couches. The old red one from my old house and the nice, new La-Z-Boy couch purchased a year ago. I hate the red couch and want to get rid of it. But am afraid there won’t be enough places to sit. So, it stays until the love seat that matches the new couch can be purchased. I also doused the living room carpet with Arm and Hammer pet cleaner powder and vacuumed it all up. The living room smells fresh, but man, it is strong. I’ve sneezed about a half dozen times. Hopefully, it fades a bit. It did get my carpet really clean. Got all the dog hair up… just in time for the shedding to begin.

Meanwhile, back in Bermuda…

Karen is still waffling on telling the ladies she’s moving out of Potomac and is beating around the bush. So, she declines to answer the question as to where she’s moving. Monique says they need to go to Charrisse’s room because it’s two floors and Karen. Is. Pissed!! She snarks about thinking that Eddie cut her off and Charrisse blows off the comment like it was nothing. The ladies go up to Charrisse’s room and are all amazed at the room. Karen is livid. She pulls Gizelle aside and says that as a surprise for the ladies, she’s arranged for them to sail with the “American Cup.” Okay, so, if I’d have recapped last week, you would have known that during Karen and Charrisse’s “planning” session, Charrisse said she wanted to host a boating trip for the ladies while in Bermuda. So, holy bitch move, Karen. Also, Karen, Honey… it’s AMERICA’S Cup. And they aren’t even sailing with the U.S. team. They are going with Team Japan. Thanks to DBBG pulling some strings. But, the caveat is that she can only take two people. Of course, since she’s telling Gizelle, she’s one. Gizelle nominates Robyn to be the other. Karen decides no, and invites Monique without Gizelle knowing. Also, STOP CALLING IT THE AMERCAN CUP. Anyway, she’s meddling and this isn’t going to go well… Monique calls it shady. She doesn’t know it’s with Gizelle.

Charrisse says she’s hired a makeup artist to do everyone’s makeup. Not to be outdone, Karen says she’s got the hair dresser. Who says hair dresser these days? Except my 94 year old grandmother. Charrisse is so annoyed. Charrisse says she has to go to bed and kicks the ladies out of her room. LOL. She’s so over it.

The next morning, the ladies get ready for the beach and Charrisse arrives at Robyn’s room. They chat about dating and the conversation moves to Charrisse and Eddie’s divorce.

Karen and Gizelle are on the bus waiting for the “surprise guest” to go sailing with Team Japan (FYI, they can only do that because they lost and are out of the competition… I looked it up. It’s a rematch between team Oracle (USA) and team Australia) when oh, look who arrives… Monique! Gizelle is shocked and says nothing to Monique. Karen is trying to be peacemaker. Not surprisingly, in a split screen of Gizelle and Monique, they are both rolling their eyes and heads. Karen needs to stop meddling. Gizelle doesn’t even want to go anymore.

Commercial 3 – 29 minutes to go: Brief comment about the America’s Cup. I watched the races when the competition was in San Francisco 4 years ago. It was amazing and fun. We could see team Oracle’s boat from ATT Park while at San Francisco Giants games. I always poo pooed sailing because it seemed like an uppity hobby, but I took a lesson and it was so much fun and now I want a sail boat. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with any boat. Sail boats wouldn’t be the smartest on the river here in Sacramento. But up in Lake Tahoe? Or out on San Francisco Bay? Man, I wish money grew on trees!

Again, thanks for reading this first half, and I will finish the second half tomorrow!

Night, night, Lovelies!



RHOP Recap and Life Update


It’s been a busy, busy week so far and it’s not over! I am not sure I’ll be able to get to the recap. I know it’s Thursday and we have a new episode on Sunday. If I can’t get to the recap tomorrow, I’ll double recap on Sunday.

I am so sorry.

Here’s a quick rundown of my week:

Sunday: baby shower for my cousin, then viewing party for the NBA finals — I didn’t get home until after 9pm and was exhausted

Monday: Dinner with friends, didn’t get home until late

Tuesday: Had bookclub

Wednesday: Watched NBA Finals Game 3 — Golden State Warriors pulled a miracle and won. Suck it, LeBron!

Thursday: FINALLY going to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 with BFF

Friday: Prep for garage sale, Game 4 of the NBA Finals (to watch the Warriors SWEEP the Cavs)

Saturday: Brunch group, then garage sale until early afternoon, church

Sunday: Garage sale, then in the evening going to see Wonder Woman

Please forgive me for not doing the recap. I’ll be better, I promise.

Fitness Forum


I’ve been so lazy lately. I haven’t been running, I haven’t been attending my running group’s training sessions, I haven’t been to the gym. I’ve been so lazy. It makes me sad because I used to be at the gym every day, I was a runner who at one time could run 10 miles at a time and even ran a half marathon. I feel like a giant lump. I’ve also gained a shit ton of weight and really want to get it back off.

That said: What types of fitness regiment do you follow? Are you a gym rat? An outside runner/walker? An at-home exerciser?

Storybook Cosmetics: Witchcraft and Wizardry Palette


I had a happy surprise when I got home today! My Harry Potter makeup FINALLY came! I was so excited to see it on the counter. It came in a pretty box, all wrapped in tissue and bubble wrap.
20170530_181044When I unwrapped it, I had a velvet bag to open and inside was the palette and a bookmark. Bookmarks are the best. I have a billion of them stuck in books all over the house. One would think that by the sheer number of bookmarks in books, that I”m reading all those books. That’s not the case. I just need somewhere to put them. I may take them all and put them on a pin board and make it look pretty. But anyway, this isn’t about bookmarks. It’s about makeup!

The palette comes with 12 different colors. I can’t wait to wear it. The shadows go one smoothly and while a few are a bit dark and will take some blending (as Get Out said in another post), they are beautiful. There’s not much of a scent to them and they seem to last. I tried wiping them off with just water and it took a little scrubbing.20170530_181149

I really like the palette, it opens like a book and has a big mirror on the left side with the shadows on the right. The downside is that it’s kind of big and it won’t fit in my makeup bag or drawer like the rest of my makeup.

I’m really pleased with how it came out and I can’t wait to wear it. If it wears well, I will plan on buying the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and/or The Hunger Games palettes that come out this summer. Also, I still want the wand brushes, the rose brushes and the new Wonder Woman brushes.

Allie, you have created a monster!!

Mohammed goes on trial

Mohammed Hadid goes on trial this week for ignoring the law and not having permits when it comes to his mega-mansion.

Why in he world does someone need an IMAX theater in their home?

The fact that this monstrosity is on a hillside worries me. With all the digging and building, it has to be unstable and I’d hate to be the person living below that house.

Read more here: http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-bel-air-building-20170530-htmlstory.html 

War of the Darbys 

Image result for real housewives of potomac, kick the trick out

I’m not big on saying Happy Memorial Day. Maybe it’s because Memorial Day isn’t about the living. It’s about honoring those who gave their lives for our country. It could also be that the lesson is so ingrained in me since a lot of my family and friends have been in the military. Anyway,  I hope everyone enjoys the extra day off.

This week, we start immediately with Ashley and Michael arguing. Ashley calls Michael an insane asshole. Michael sees the cameras and tells them no and wants them to go. So the production crew goes ninja and films from a distance. Do Michael and Ashley realize they are mic’d? Just because you can’t see the cameras doesn’t mean we can’t still see and hear you.

And now we’re back to 8 days earlier. Let’s see how it all began, shall we??

Ashley and Brad, her executive chef, are updating the menu. Some of the food actually looks good. There’s cameras there, so it looks like they are going to do some sort of photo shoot. Ashley is explaining the changes and is hosting a critic’s dinner. She’s talking trash about Robyn and Gizelle not owning businesses so they should keep their mouths shut.

The Dixon family arrives at basketball camp. Juan greets the kids and one kid is super excited to see him. Juan really looks like he’s in his element here. Robyn is gushing. It’s cute.

In keeping with the sports theme, Karen arrives at Top Golf and checks in. We just got a Top Golf here. I haven’t been there yet; I am not a golfer. I want to learn, but have no one to teach me and unless I do private lessons; the days and times for public lessons don’t work for me. But I digress… Karen checks in and waits for her guests to arrive. First to arrive is Monique. She is wearing wedges, a boobie shirt and printed shorts. She calls golf clothes old lady wardrobe. Umm, it’s what you wear. Not heels. Apparently, it’s only the day after the PAVE event. Monique thanks Karen again and says it was really informative.

Monique takes a swing from the box at the driving range and misses. Karen has this look on her face that I can only describe as “bitch, please.” Strike two for Monique. One more and she’s out. Oh wait, wrong sport. I’d probably suck at golf. Monique says she should imagine someone she doesn’t like’s head is the ball. And guess what, she hits it. Karen asks whose head… can ya guess? Can ya? Can ya? If you guessed Gizelle, you’d win.

Karen tells Monique she told Gizelle the night before that there was to be no nonsense. She asks Monique what happened and Monique explains. The etiquette queen is not happy and wants to bring everyone together.

Next to arrive is Ashley wearing leggings and heels. She hits the ball first try and Karen asks whose head she was imagining. Ashley tells her what Gizelle and Robyn did at the restaurant and what happened between her and Charrisse. Karen immediately asks what Ashley did. Cue flashback to shopping day. Karen tells Ashley to dial it back and mind her business when it comes to Juan and Robyn.

Commercial 1: I am tempted to not fix any of the million typos on this recap.  They are actually kind of funny. It’s hot and I’m being lazy, so I’m typing this on my phone instead of the computer.

There is a fly in the house and it’s driving me crazy! I need to find the swatter.

At the Samuels house, Chris and Monique are tag teaming and putting the kids to bed. Monique is with little Chris singing a song, and Chris is rocking the baby and singing her a song. Such a nice family moment. After the kids are in bed, Chris and Monique go sit outside by the fire pit and talk about the new house and joke around.

Gizelle and Kevin, who is still listed on the title card as her “friend” arrive at an indoor go-cart racing place. They are meeting Karen and DBBG for a double date. Karen is less than impressed with the place. Gizelle is looking forward to seeing Karen so she can give Gizelle her opinion on Kevin. The four of them get suited up and start racing. Karen is killing it! DBBG is bringing up the rear. Lol

After racing, Karen takes Kevin aside to talk with him. Gizelle is left with DBBG, and calls him Uncle Benz. Hahaha! I love it! Karen and Kevin are chatting while Gizelle and DBBG talk at another table. Karen is firing questions at Kevin and asks him what his intentions are. He says he aspires to be married like her and DBBG. These are questions that a good friend would ask anyone dating his or her BFF. Lord knows, both my BFFs have done this same thing with guys I’ve dated. Except one. 😊 Gizelle is over it and she and DBBG go to find their respective partners.

At the Darby apartment, Michael wakes Ashley. Ashley laments the loss of their morning routine. Michael asks how the photo shoot went and she drops the new menu bomb. Michael looks pissed. He asks about the marketing and Ashley tells him about the critics dinner she wants to have in a couple of days. Negative Nancy… sorry, Michael starts listing all the things that could result from a bad dinner. He realizes that it’s already a done deal and is super pissed. Ashley mentions that she wants to invite the ladies and Michael really doesn’t want that to happen. Michael gives in and Ashley asks if this is how it will be with a baby. Michael tells her no because she’s going to do whatever he tells her to do with “the child” just like he lets her do whatever she wants with the restaurant. That’s not really how it works, Michael. A baby and a restaurant are not even close to being comparable. Ugh, I hate him. He’s the worst.

Commercial 2: I just kicked the dog in the face. He put his toy on the couch and when I went to kick it off for him, he tried to grab it and I nailed him in the face. My poor baby!

38 minutes to go. This is a really slow moving episode. I’m about to open the bottle of Chandon sparkling red. This show drives me to drink. Why can’t I quit you??

When we get back, the ladies are receiving their invitations to the dinner. Charrisse’s reaction is the best. Lol.

At the Dixon house, Corey and Carter are helping Juan and Robyn cook dinner for Robyn’s mom for her birthday. Robyn and Juan are arguing when her parents arrive, but stop before they get to the kitchen. OMG, those boys are so damn cute!

Robyn asks her mom about her history and says she wants to do an ancestry.com thing. Her mom doesn’t seem too in to the idea.

It’s gift time and Carter says if there’s money in the card, he wants some. Haha. Robyn reads the card outloud. There’s definite tenstion between Juan and Robyn.

At the Huger house, Karen is getting ready for her boudoir photo shoot and Gizelle arrives for moral support. Gizelle is wearing a leopard cat suit. The lady of the house is not pleased. As the photographer sets up, Gizelle and Karen talk poses and outfits. The conversation moves to Kevin and Karen says she doesn’t think Kevin is the one. She thinks Kevin is too nice for Gizelle.

When Karen leaves the room, Gizelle starts posing for the camera. Karen comes back in and is not happy. She snarks that it’s not about Gizelle and apologizes to the photographer.  The photos look really good.

Commercial 3: 30 minutes to go. I want to go to the beach. Of course, there are no free weekends until July. Maybe I’ll take a day off work after school is out and we can go. It might be less crowded. We shall see.

Ooohhh, Nashville starts this week! Does anyone watch it? Should we do a discussion thread? I don’t want to recap it because I love it so much, I just want to watch it. But I am always up for talking about it. Let me know what you think.

Back in Virginia, it’s one hour to the big Oz dinner. Ashley is nervous that Michael isn’t there yet. He calls her and she stands her ground saying he needs to be there, it’s a big night and they will discuss their issues later. Apparently he’s sitting outside in the car. Jesus, put on you big boy pants and deal with your business. He’s totally tying to sabotage the event. Ashley goes outside to talk to him and here’s where we pick up from the beginning.

They are arguing behind a car. It’s Michael’s way or the highway. Ashley is finally standing up for herself. She says the marriage is over if he shuts down the event and the restaurant. His argument is “it’s my restaurant.” Oooh, good one, Michael. Ashley walks away and goes back inside. Michael follows her in and asks to talk to her. He leads her back outside. He hasn’t shut down the event yet. Ashley continues standing up for herself and Michael apparently wants an apology. Ashley says no. She’s over it. She says he’s her parent and she walks away again and goes back to the restaurant. I actually feel for her. She’s right. This isn’t a partnership. He’s a dictator. It’s his way or the highway. Poor Ashely. She’s giving herself a pep talk in the pantry.

Commercial 4: 22 minutes to go. I need a nap. I know… It’s only 7:30pm. Maybe it’s a go to bed early and watch Netflix kind of night. Who knew going to church and Target could be so exhausting.

Also, I’m down to 7% on my phone. I hope I make it 22 more minutes.

Back at Oz, it’s 30 minutes before dinner. Michael hasn’t shut it down, but he’s pouting and cutting some papers. Ashley goes over to thank him and he starts in again about her saying she’s sorry. He’s kind of got some narcisstic tendencies. He’s acting like he’s doing her a favor by helping.

People start arriving. There are lots of bloggers there. Chris and Monique show up. Now, Robyn and Charrisse show up and go up in the table. Ashley is gracious and greets them. Karen and Gizelle arrive. Gizelle is already talking shit. Jesus, Lord, she’s awful.

Michael and Ashley welcome everyone and Michael won’t shut up. He’s totally stealing Ashley’s thunder and the ladies notice it. There’s definitely tension between the two. Ashley shades Michael when she finally does get to talk.

Everyone starts eating and Michael is sitting with Monique and Chris. Ashley is with the other ladies. Gizelle is already starting again. And Ashley finally apologies to Charrisse. And tries to explain. Ashley is trying so hard to move on. But Robyn is trying to explain how she feels.

Commercial 5: 9 minutes left. Awww, my phone charger just magically appeared. Okay, not magically. It was brought to me. At this moment, I remember what I forgot to buy at Target. A new charging cord. This one is shorting out and unless you hold it super still, it goes on and off. I do have another one, but it’s the super short car charging cord. Oh well. The show is almost over. I’ll deal.

And were back with six minutes to go. We pick up right where we left off with the ladies, except for Monique, hashing it out on the patio.

Karen says that it seems like there’s something going on with Ashley and she finally fesses up and tells them about having issues with Michael and the restaurant. She says she’s taking it out on the others. It seems like, for the moment, their issues are squashed.

Ashley joins Monique, Chris, and Michael and tells them a little about being outside and her and Michael’s problems. Monique says she and Chris have been there and offers up some advice.

Finally, Ashley says that if Michael keeps disrespecting her like that, she’s not staying in the marriage.

Next time, Monique throws a party for the baby; Monique and Gizelle get into it; Ashley reads the comment cards; and Ashley tells Michael she’s not ready for a baby.

Obviously, I fixed the typos, hopefully I got them all. As always,  thanks for reading!


The Real Housewives of Potomac – Over the River and Thru the Woods

Image result for real housewives of potomac, kick the trick out

Thank you all for your patience. I really appreciate it. It’s been a busy week. Between my whirlwind trip to upstate New York, dinner and the theater to see The Phantom of the Opera with my mom, and just being exhausted, I’m way behind on everything this week. I am so looking forward to the three day weekend.

Let’s get right to it, shall we?

After a break last week, we pick up with Monique arriving at the old house, which turns out to be Chris’ house from years ago. It was the first house they lived in together and she rents it out. She’s going through the property with her assistant/cousin, Hank, who is supposed to be overseeing everything. She finds a few things wrong with the place and she makes it clear that he’s supposed to be handling everything for her.

Off to a day in the life of Karen, who arrives at the PAVE office. I had no idea what it was, but it looks like a nonprofit helping victims of sexual violence. Karen and the founder sit down and talk details about an event. Karen is going to be speaking about her experience. Karen chats with the founder telling her about the self defense course she took with Rayvin. They flashback to the course and her chat with Rayvin about fighting. The founder chick explains her experience of being kidnapped at 17 and Karen shares her story. It’s heartbreaking and I’m not going to recap it. Let’s just say, she was raped in college and it sent her down a bad path. I may have shed a tear. Okay, I did. Hold on while I grab a tissue.

Okay, off to Gizelle and Robyn in the car and they are talking about Ashley. This seems like a throw away scene. But I have a feeling it will turn into something more because…

We’re now at Oz and Ahsley is whining because OMG, she has to do work! It shows her at the register with someone check and mutters “this is’t 20%.” Bitch, people aren’t obligated to tip 20%. Then she’s whining about a refridgerator, and now about how people are calling in sick and she has to cover.

Back to Robyn and Gizelle in the car. Total foreshadowing of where they are going and what may happen… they are talking about Ashley gossiping at Monique’s party. Robyn is pissed and ready to confront her. Ashley is behind the bar when Gizelle and Robyn show up. She’s surprised and seems happy to see them, but Robyn has a “I’m coming for you, bitch” look on her face which causes Ashely to wonder what’s going on. Robyn doesn’t want to sit, she just launches into “stay the f*ck out of my business.” Ashley acts like she doesn’t know what it’s about and then starts to defend herself. They start yelling at each other about fingers in faces – cut to commercial

Commercial 1: A hilariously weird commercial for Million Dollar Listing: New York with the guys in an elevator, and then it’s all Game of Thrones style, then back to them in the elevator taking selfies in their costumes. On another note, I’m still missing a pregnant animal live cam. My life is sad and incomplete without one. Someone find me one, STAT!

Back to the fight at Oz. People are staring and it’s super awkward. What kind of a professional is Ashley to let this go on in her restaurant. Side note: I have tasked my cousin who lives in the DC area to go to Oz and give me a review. When/if that happens, I will let you know what she thinks. Ashley asks them nicely to leave and they are all still talking over each other. I have to say, Ashley’s dress is really cute. I want it. Gizelle won’t let it go and keeps talking… aaaand there’s the use of the episode title. Finally, they leave and are still talking. Ashley calls Michael and tells him what happened. Michael is pissed. I don’t blame him.

On to Charrisse and her daughter whose name I can’t remember…thankfully, the title cards tell me. It’s Skylar. They are shopping and Skylar puts on a pair of brightly colored frames. Charrisse calls her Sally Jesse Raphael which cracked me up. Skylar has no idea who that is. Charrisse is shopping for a journal and Skylar asks her why she needs one. Charrisse starts telling her about therapy. She decides that now is the time to tell Skylar about the divorce. Seriously, you’re going to tell your kid you are getting a divorce in a store? Do that shit at home. Skylar seems to not be too affected by it because Eddie hasn’t been around for a long time. Charrisse is really concerned about Skylar’s feelings, which any good mom should be when telling her kid about a divorce (ahem hubs’ ex). Charrisse is a good mom. Skylar gives her mama a hug and comforts her.

Commercial 2: Commercial for the new Pirats of the Carribean. God, I love Johnny Depp. Have I mentioned how much? It annoys me to no end when the youngin’s claim they love him. Look little girls, until you know the name Detective Tom Hansen, you DO NOT love Johnny Depp. When we were at Disneyland, I mentioned to BFF and hubs that I’d probably tip the boat over on the Pirates ride if he was there doing his Jack Sparrow appearances. Of course, he wasn’t – UNTIL TWO WEEKS LATER. I was devastated when I heard that. Johnny is on my “list.” Along with Matthew McConaughey, Bradley Cooper, Jake Gyllenhall, and Alexander Skarsgard. It’s laminated. Great, now I need to go watch Edward Scissorhands. My family LOVES when I take over movie night. #sarcasm

Back in Potomac, Monique and Chris arrive at a park and they are going fishing. She’s wearing a dress. Who goes fishing in a dress and sandals? She says that she can bait her own hook and take the fish off the hook. Get the girl a cookie! It’s the rule around here… when we go fishing, you bait it yourself and you take the fish off yourself. Of course, the boys are still a bit small, but hey, they can bait a hook with the best of them. We usually take the fish off if they catch one. Don’t want a trip to the ER because there’s a hook in anyone’s fingers. Anyway, they are chatting and reminiscing. Umm, this is fake fishing. Look at how she casts her line. It’s out like 2 feet into the water. I’m such a judgemental bitch – lol. Again, I love their relationship. Chris catches an eel. It’s hella creepy. Good. They are catching and releasing. That makes me happy.

Karen is planting flowers at a community project. Gizelle shows up and they are planting flowers with kids. I love this so much. It makes me miss volunteering with the kids. Don’t get me wrong, I still volunteer FOR the kids, but I don’t work with them anymore. During the break, Karen and Gizelle sit down and Karen invites her to the Pave event. Gizelle accepts and Karen says that she doesn’t know who else to invite. Karen lets it slip that Monique called Gizelle a trick after she left the party. The two of them turn it into a joke and giggle about it.

In Hanover, MD, at Robyn and Juan’s, Robyn is working on stuff for Juan’s basketball camp. She’s trying to make sure all the details are in place. Juan is a little testy and short with her. When he leaves, he goes into another room and it talking to the producer saying he’s too old for this and the producer asks if he wants to get back together. Juan says that if it weren’t for the boys, he’d be gone already. That he wants something more. Someone to share his life with. Through all that, he doesn’t say no. Maybe Robyn just needs to get her shit together so they can reconcile and be together. I still love them, though.

Commercial 3: Ugh… preview for the Captain Underpants movie being released on June 2. Guess I know what I’m going next weekend. Not sure when, though. I already have a packed weekend planned. I am so happy for this upcoming three day weekend. There are no set plans. I plan on cleaning the house, doing laundry, going to church (we haven’t been in a couple weeks), and maybe going to BFF’s for a big bbq on Monday. Maybe… just MAYBE I can sleep in a bit.

Also, there’s still 26 minutes of the show left.

Back in DC, Ashley is meeting her mom and brother for dinner. After ordering they are talking about her brother’s upcoming trip to the Dominican to implement clean water systems. What is it with these people doing all this good? I really hope it’s not just for the show and that they do these things when the cameras aren’t rolling. When her brother asks about the restaurant, she tells them about the restaurant ambush and the shopping confrontation with Charrisse. Ashley acknowledges that she needs to apologize to Charrisse. Then they do shots of boubon.

Robyn meets Charrisse and her (Charrisse’s) online therapist at a restaurant.  Seems like a therapy ambush to me. Charrisse wants Robyn to see therapy as not a bad thing. And it’s not. Most people have seen a therapist at one time or another. Or if not, has someone who can act in that capacity. Robyn doesn’t seem to want therapy. She admits the problem is her. The therapist is asking some good questions and making good points. Robyn seems to be listening, and breaks down. It makes me sad to see. She admits that therapy might be good for her.

Commercial 4: 20 minutes to go. Have you guys seen the previews for the new Love Connection with Andy Cohen? It apparently premieres tonight (Thursday) on Fox. I kind of want to watch it, but not really. Know what I mean?

In DC proper, the ladies arrive at the Pave event. It seems like a big deal. DBBG is with Karen and she looks fabulous in a red dress. I’m wondering if she had her breasts reduced because they don’t look so gigantic. Maybe it’s just the dress. The founder greets them and is wearing a really pretty maternity dress. Until she turns around. It’s cut out in the back. I am not a fan. Karen is nervous for her speech. Ashley arrives in a short silver dress with sequins/rhinestones on the bodice and skirt. Gizelle in a really pretty orange/yellow dress arrives with Robyn, who is wearing a printed dress. Both look lovely. Karen greets Ashley, tells her that she’s invited all the others and asks her to behave herself. Karen greets Gizelle and Robyn, then goes to find DBBG. Robyn and Gizelle go to the bar and get a drink. Ashely comes up to them and says hello. Robyn gives her a cordial greeting and Gizelle doesn’t say a word. Ashely is clearly trying to keep the peace. She compliments their dresses and Robyn responds. Again, Gizelle doesn’t say a word. Ashley leaves to go to the table and after she leaves, Gizelle mentions how short Ashley’s dress it. Gizelle is a total shit stirrer.

Charrisse and Monique arrive and greet Karen. Charrisse is wearing a pink dress, and Monique has on a blue sparkly dress. I like both dresses. A woman walks through the room tapping a xylophone (WTF?) and the program gets started as everyone takes their seats. The housewives sit down. Ashley and Monique sit with Karen and Gizelle, Charrisse, and Robyn sit at another table. AWKWARD!

The speeches begin and an anchor from CNN tells his story. When it’s Karen’s turn, she gets up and tells her story. She starts crying immediately, which of course makes me cry. It’s heartbreaking and sad, and I am so happy that she’s turned her life around and made herself a survivor. I gained a lot of respect for her after this. If anyone is interested in learning more about Pave, the website is www.shatteringthesilence.org. Check it out. Also, check out your local programs. We have one here called WEAVE. You can be certain I’ll be adding it to our list of nonprofits to donate to.

Commercial 5: Thank God. I need to recompose myself. It was a brief moment in the show, but really emotional. OMG, a commercial for The Bachelorette. This one is apparently a trail lawyer and one of the guys says “see you later, litigator.” Do NOT give him a rose! Haha

Back for the final 5 minutes. At the Pave event, the program ends and as Karen sits down DBBG grabs her hand on her lap. The ladies say their goodbyes and all give their talking head thoughts on the event and on Karen.  Ashley and Monique walk up to Charrisse, Robyn, and Gizelle. Ashley greets them and Charrisse won’t even look at Ashley. Ashley asks her to go talk and Gizelle shuts her down. Monique tells Gizelle she’d like to catch up later, since that moment is not the time. Gizelle asks Charrisse if she told Monique to say that. Jesus, Gizelle, just be gracious. She’s trying to start an apology. Gizelle is awful. So awful. Gizelle and Charrisse walk out with Gizelle flapping her jaw the hwole time saying that Monique asking for Gizelles number was weird. Charrisse disagrees.

Karen and DBBG are talking and he tells her that he’s proud of her. It’s a sweet moment between the two of them. Damn it… my opinion of Karen is changing.

Finally, my DVR doesn’t cut off any previews. The ladies go to Top Golf. Ashley is playing in heels. Robyn talks with her mom. Ashley and Michael have a big fight.

I’m so behind!

I’m so sorry, lovelies! I promise I will get the Potomac Housewives recap out as soon as possible. Between flying across the country and back in a matter of two days, recovering from that, having theater tickets, and life in general, I am super behind.

I’m hoping to get it watched and recapped tonight.