I would first like to apologize for my disappearance the last couple of weeks. I still have no air conditioning and likely won’t until at least July 10. I am hot, I am miserable, and because of that, everything and everyone annoys me.
So, my deepest apologies for missing the recap of the last episode. I’ve been living in the bedroom in front of a fan (which is the coolest room in the house) watching Netflix on my laptop… I really need to get a television in the bedroom.
Anyway, on to the recap of the season finale.
Last time, the ladies finished up their trip to Bermuda by going and watching a Cricket match, Charrisse introduced herself as Sha Sha, Robyn didn’t go out on a date like her therapist suggested, Ashley just existed, Monique and Gizelle are still being nice to each other, and after some super snarky comments, Karen and Charrisse talked it out.
We start up back at the unveiling of Charrisse’s champagne room with the ladies still jumping on Karen about this whole “Grand Dame” nonsense. Karen is trying to defend herself and calls Ashley an idiot. Turns out, Karen and DBBG sold their Potomac house and are RENTING the new one. After she drops that bomb, everyone thinks something more is going on with Karen and DBBG. Robyn, in her very cute dress, is just sitting there taking it all in. AAAAAND there it is. Ashley mentions ETIQUETTE! If this were a drinking game, I’d say Drink!! That said, Ashley is not wrong with her comments. Karen remains being secretive and when asked when they can see the house, Karen says “soon.” Which we all know really means “the 12th of never.” When pushed, she says she was thinking of having her 20th anniversary party there, but might not invite everyone. She’s awful. Lord, there’s so much tension. It’s awkward.
After a quick montage of the ladies, we stop at Robyn’s who is cleaning and when Juan comes in she decides to talk to him about her therapy. Juan tells her about a coaching opportunity and there’s a quick discussion about it. Robyn tells him that she was hit on in Bermuda and Juan looks so pissed. Robyn tells him about her therapy dating assignment and he looks upset.
Commercial 1: I baked cupcakes for work tomorrow and made Swiss Meringue buttercream, but it was so hot in the house, it wouldn’t set. I had to put it in the fridge. I’ll be getting up earlier tomorrow to decorate cupcakes. No one is happy about the cupcakes because they are not plain chocolate or vanilla. I made raspberry thyme cupcakes with lemon buttercream. I was told that I was too fancy. Lol… what no one seems to get is that I didn’t make the cupcakes for them. I made them for my coworkers… also, there are plain vanilla cupcakes with chocolate icing in an opaque container in the fridge. Mama ain’t stupid.
One of the commercials shown is for a new Southern Charm… in New Orleans.
Back at Robyn and Juan’s. He seems upset and Robyn confesses that she wants to spend more time with him. He tells her to do what she wants to do. But he doesn’t look too convinced. It’s a heavy discussion for them. One that’s long overdue. I love them.
In Great Falls, VA, Karen and DBBG are unpacking. The house is nice, but I like Monique’s new house more. They are discussing the party and she suggests a Bollywood party. DBBG suggests an African themed party. Karen says they will compromise and maybe do both. To me, it seems a little much and inappropriate.
Gizelle meeting Kevin for lunch to break up with him. After some small talk, she does it. She breaks up with him. She puts him back in the friend zone. Poor Kevin. He’s really not getting it.
Commercial 2: I EFFING hate this time of year. The neighborhood aholes start setting off fireworks which scare the dogs and makes me nervous about fires.
It’s amazing how much cooler 7 degrees is. It went from 96 to 89 on the house and is almost bearable.
At the Samuels’ new house, the family is exploring it and Chris says it’s really hot in the house. I feel you, man. Monique has invited the ladies over to see the house and she gives them a tour. Karen has her judgey face on. Charrisse sages the house to rid it of the bad juju. Karen throws shade about the house and discusses the anniversary party and invites Ashley, but acts like it’s an afterthought.
Charrisse goes to an Indian boutique and asks for Bollywood clothing. She meets Robyn and Ashley. Ashley asks about Karen and DBBG relationship and the ladies start gossiping.
Commercial 3: There are 23 minutes left. I just realized that my dvr is set to only keep 20 episodes of a show at a time, which means the last 2 days of Game of Thrones was erased. BALLS!!! Good thing I can access HBOGO on my laptop.
It’s party time and the ladies are arriving. Unfortunately for her, Monique dresses like a Native American Indian, and it becomes awkward! Robyn looks great in purple, and Gizelle is wearing a gold and red sari. Love it! Ashley arrives with Michael and her sari is pretty, but her hair is not. Michael looks like he’s starring in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. If you haven’t seen that movie, watch it. It’s fabulous. So is the sequel. Anyway, ugh… Michael.
So far, there’s no Karen, no DBBG, no food, no valet, no drinks. Gizelle is not pleased.
Commercial 4: 14 minutes to go. Lord am I glad this is the season finale. I don’t think I have it in me for any more episodes. I’m also all out of Mike’s Hard Lemonades. Man have those been great over the last couple of weeks in this heat. So refreshing.
Back at the party, the ladies and other guests are still waiting on Karen and DBBG to make their entrance. FINALLY!!! They appear on the balcony like the effing Queen of England and Prince Phillip. Oh wow… there are Bollywood dancers. Everyone goes outside where there’s more dancers, food, and drinks. They even have henna tattoo artists.
Ashley and Monique are talking about Karen renting the house. Monique says it’s like rent-to-own. The rent they are paying will go toward the purchase is they decide to buy it. Ashley is appropriately confused saying that if Karen is married to the Black Bill Gates, then they shouldn’t need to rent to own.
Everyone (Michael and Chris) is talking about how there is nothing in the house and there’s no furniture.
It’s seems like everyone is having a good time. There’s no fighting, no snarking, just a nice night. DBBG makes a speech and then Karen has to speak. And then they eat each other’s faces. Seriously, ew.
Ashley apologizes to Robyn about pushing her to date and they seem to bury the hatchet. For now.
Rayvin , sanding with her brother, whose name I don’t remember, tells Karen and DBBG that she has a special message for them. And cut to commercial.
Commercial 4: 7 minutes left. My nose has been itching all day. That is all.
When we get back, the message is from Karen’s mother who is not there due to her Alzheimer’s. Karen breaks down. It’s very sweet and brought a tear to my eye.
Final thoughts by way of title cards:
Charrisse: Inspired by her champagne room, Charrisse had renovated her entire home. She no longer communicates with Eddie. But still hasn’t received divorce papers.
Robyn: Robyn and Juan are finally making time for each other. She quit therapy. Still no word if the cheating rumors were true.
Gizelle: Gizelle and Kevin remain friends… without benefits. She’s now dating a retired basketball player she met at the gym. “Word on the street” is her mom approves.
Monique: Monique and Chris recently celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary in Dubai and Thailand. She’s slowly perfecting her Potomac house but has yet to move in. A shark tank has already been installed in the new kitchen.
Ashley: Ashley and Michael’s relationship is still rocky. The restaurant has yet to break even. Emu remains on the menu.
Karen: Karen and Ray are enjoying their next chapter together. She’s working on becoming the new Grand Dame of Great Falls… but still considers herself the Grand Dame of Potomac.
Next week is the reunion. Not sure how many parts it is. I will put up a discussion thread, but will not recap.
Now, I want to know when the Dallas version is coming back…. that is an even bigger shit show than Potomac.
Thanks for reading!