Project Runway S16/E01

DISCLAIMER: Yeah, I’ve been day drinking, so it is what it is. General impressions, and stuff.

First to enter is the twins….yeah, I still hate them. Then Deyonte….his wife is thisclose to delivering. And then everyone else arrives….blah blah blah. Twins thinks it’s their job to host and intimidate all the other contestants….have I mentioned that I hate the twins?

First challenge:
Project Runway bus enters the building and off jumps Tim and Heidi. Tim calls this their sweet sixteen….Heidi wants a coursage. Kenya already crying.

Tim tells them challenge begins now. “Worn by the stars”, so it’s a red carpet look with your design asthetic. First, the models…..they are curvacious. Nice….skinny to plus…in fashion plus is usually an 8, but here they go up to 22. Heidi: Truth of fashion is one size does not fit all.

Models head to assigned designer, every challenge they get a different designer. SWEET.

One day, and $300, for this challenge. Measure up your model and Brandon has a plus size model, which should be challenging for a menswear designer. She is gorgeous….sketch time!

Have I mentioned that I hate the twins? If not, I hate the twins.

Commercial: And I will be skipping through the Mood orgasm….yeah, we would all go completely insane at Mood, 16 seasons, we’ve seen it. Instead I’ll open wine!

Off to the standard PR workroom….find your spot, so twims STFU and get to work. Brandon is still bumming over his model….this pisses me off. Get over it, if you can’t design for a woman of size, find another career.

Twins talk more, and guess what? I still hate them.

Sentell went to a psychic (or oracle as he calls it) and she told him to design. My psychic told me to be a psychic….so there ya go.

ChaCha is having a problem with patterning…which he admits is the whole purpose of the competion. Calls his model fat. I will still stalk him, but I will sit on him when I find him.

Tim comes in:
Kenya, calls herself a short bald girl from Atlanta. Love her. Beautiful white dress

Amy: professor: wrap skirt (disappointed)

Aaron: sounds like a tux, Tim hates it but after description loves it

Samantha OK, (yeah basically OK)

Kentauro trained pianist…execution is limp, that’s what he wants

Margartia…adding color to make it look margarita

Chacha designs for Ariana Grande types….Tim is thinking…I am considering slapping as opposed to sitting on him….but I think getting sit on by a fat chick will humilate him more…take this butter, bitch! Tim tells him to commit or not

Claire, twin with hair…she talks more about her twin than herself. HATE THEM BOTH. She’s going sheers….in pink….Amy, notes the OVER ANNOUNCIATING thing, that makes everyone hate them so much….sooooo fucking pretentious

Bald twin…clean sporty siloutte….I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THIS BULLSHIT….she keeps saying “INDEED”

Kudzani…TIm is crazy about it

Michael: going for a sense of tacky

Ayana says that people think that modest is considered boring or dated, Tim disagrees…I agree

Sentell: thinking cropped pants, Tim: be careful it makes a woman look shorter

Bantani is all about the appliques. Tim feels like it’s all about the embellishments what’s left after that?

Deyonte…has a flower print…it’s kind loud. Tim thinks a serious problem with large scale print but loves it in this case….(he’s done a good job with this….line it up properly)

Brnadon seems so basic in execution that it has to be impecable. He doesn’t know how he’s going to get this done.

They check into whatever hotel/condos have paid for the promotional this season….twins WON’T STOP FUCKING TALKING. Burning fire of 1,000 suns level of hatred.

Model fittings, makeup and hair. TWINS KEEP TALKING. LMK if you want to know the actual styling of the models….I’m skipping it this week.

Chacha…AMY: “Big funny little mess, kinda like Chacha” Agree….a little too much Big Top PeeWee for me.

RUNWAY: I’ll grab as many pics as I can, I kinda wanna watch Big Brother eviction this week so it is what is it….so if I find them, great, if not, hope y’all like to Google! 😛

Guest Judge is Olivia Munn (who?), and Heidi needs a bra. This year in addition to all the other crap they get is a JC Penny line….I thought JCP was going OOB (out of business), and also a trip to Japan….apparently to make up for making a line at a company that is OOB.

Kenya – White with pockets…like it. A little wonky in the boobs, but nice
Kudzanai – Kinda Kimono, in red…not entirely ugly
Ayana – Grey with a flower….she loves the fabric, I think it looks cheap
Shawn – I did mention this is red carpet, right? She goes with Silver hot pants, and a cropped one shoulder with a cape-let thing. HIDEOUS, she thinks it’s balanced and edgy
Batani – first of the larger models…grey and tight and ucky, makes her normal size model look fat, FAT, F-A-T!
Claire – Orange and nude ballerina thing….not as ugle as the other twin
Brandon – not horrible. Salmon coloured maxi skirt with big slit and camo cropped top.
ChaCha – short dress with a clown neck, Zac lookds like he loves it (but maybe he’s just laughing)
Amy – she made like a long coat over a bikini top and pants. Jacket turns into a skirt over pants. I don’t get it. But she has a skinny model so it looks ok.
Sentell – looks kinda like Mars meets colour blind. Bad, bad, bad. F U G L Y
Kentaro – this is fabulous. Black top with tiers, and white skirt. Moves really well
Deyonte – love it…very floral, but he matched the print very well
Michael – went with a pin-stripe fabric with one of those off the shoulder/halter tops in sparkles. Shocked, but I like it
Aaron: ummm…how do I describe this? Kind of a tube top with a collar (there’s a line leading up to her neck to connect the 2)…kinda BDSM with an oversized white pants. Not a complete disaster. I hate her makeup
Samantha – she made a pretty tea length black dress with an empire waist and leather embellishments. Pretty, but boring
Margarita – Red pantsuit with sheer capelet. Model is walking FIERCE, Love it

I pause live TV to make my picks:
My bottom 3: Aaron (not horrible but just weird), Sentell, ChaCha. Sentel goes home.
My top 3:Deyonte, Margarita, Kenya….Margarita for the win.

Back to live:
Judges 6:
Batani, Deyonte, ChaCha, Shawn, Kenya, Brandon. (not Sentel!?!?! WTF)

Kenya: They love
Shawn: They have mixed. Olivia likes it, but thinks it would look bad on her.
Heidi doesn’t love, Zac thinks it’s club kid, Nina thinks shorts suck
ChaCha: They hate…totally not shocked. No ones understands it…nor do I.
Deyonte: They like
Brandon: They like
Batani: She’s totally going home…she admits she camouflaged the model’s figure. It is illfitting and ugly. Memo: Fat Chicks don’t want panty lines.

Oh good, next week is not only a team challenge but also an unconventional challenge (#1 unconventional, remember, I’m out at 3 of them)….please kill me. Guess both the fucking twins make it, because they’re in the previews for next week. For the record, I hate the twins.

Winner: Deyonte (it was really nice)
Safe: Kenya, Brandon,
Bottom: Shawn (has potential “Indeed”)
Out:ChaCha (called it)

Will add pics as I find them. Can’t say I disagree. Off to BB Double Eviction.

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6 thoughts on “Project Runway S16/E01

  1. I just read the first sentence, and I found great humor in it. Thanks for that, it’s been so heavy the past few days with all the hate going on in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can’t believe Batani didn’t go home for that mess. I thought for sure she was a goner. She has such fabulous personal style. I hope she reflects that in some of the clothes she makes this season.

    OMG! Butter Boy- seriously. I get where he is going, but his creations are too silly and juvenile for PR.

    I agree- those twins!!! Sheesh! They are so fucking annoying. In the pre-season episode they were talking about how someone said they had what seemed like an incestual relationship. They absolutely do minus the sex. Those girls are each other’s biggest cheerleaders. But can you imagine when one gets kicked off? The other will melt down. They are so odd. I wonder how old they are. I am curious about them. Off to google.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Agree with you Pip! That hole under the applique on Batani’s dress?! I thought for sure it was going to be a double elimination because her and Cha Cha did so badly. I was shocked Sendell wasn’t in there also!

      The twins are super odd, I thought it was hilarious when everyone was imitating their strange speaking style!

      I love the new models and that they rotate, I love Brandon – so shy and sweet and really made his model look great, I loved how he showed her midriff and her leg – he didn’t want to hide her like other designers with larger sized models and she looked so happy walking!

      Like

  3. Thanks for the recap NoLife, love it!

    I hate those fucking twins too, intensely! They make me aggressive and I want to hit them in the face with a hammer, especially the bald one.
    I also hate those behind the scenes shots where you can see that everything backstage looks like crap. What’s the point of showing me wooden scaffoldings?

    I love the fact that they use different sized models, but I don’t think it’s fair in a competition. They should have given everybody curvy models every other week or something. If Kenya had made this week’s dress for Batani’s model, the model would have totally looked like a bridesmaid from the ’80s.
    Kentaro’s look was fantastic.

    And what a nice surprise in the season preview: Yolanda Hadid is a guest judge and apparantly something very dramatic happens in her episode and Yolanda demands some answers!

    Like

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