90 Day Freaks, before the 90 days

Episode 2 was a couple of days ago, sorry about the delay, but, work and shit.

Soooooooooo…..Darcy and Jesse. He seems like a really nice, genuine guy. If it’s all for real, she is a very lucky woman. His friends are snarky as hell and I want to hang out with them. He cleared out half of his closet for her!
She got her Louboutin’s stuck in the escalator at the airport and destroyed one of them. He showed up with a sash and flowers. He was clearly very happy to see her. It was surreal and nice at the same time.

Paul, the weird guy with multiple felonies, makes it to Brazil. Before boarding the boat, he gets searched by Brazilian police. TLC tries to do a cliff hanger of the drug dog alerting on one of his 8 bags, but they would have turned it into an episode of “Locked Up Abroad” instead, so I know it’s nothing bad. While I’m hoping it’s one of his mosquito net onsies, it’s his OTC cough drops and they let him keep ’em. *YAWN*. Because that flop of a cliff hanger, TLC leaves us with Paul at the dock, with little cellular service, waiting for Karine for over 45 minutes.

And the bestestest couple of this episode goes to Sean and Abby. Before he arrives, Abby is hanging with her girlfriends talking about Sean and Chris. Chris is this creepy old guy, even creepier than Sean, who is her “friend”. Sean is seriously worried about this relationship and wants to meet Chris before moving forward with Abby. Abby is telling her friends that she wants to keep Chris as a friend. One of them asks why. Abby responds that “he teaches her things”. The friend is side-eyeing and rolling so hard, I can hear it through the TV. Once Sean unloads all of those panties, he heads out of the airport to finally meet Abby. BTW, THIS IS HAITI. Sean is wearing a baby blue cardigan over a plaid shirt. The average daily tempurate in Haiti is between 70-80, and he’s wearing a sweater. He’s also shocked by the poverty. Way to do some research! Abby brought a friend with her to the airport. Sean walks up, hugs her, and immediately tells Abby he loves her in Haitian Creole. After a significant pause, Abby says she loves him too. They get into a car and drive off. I’m not completely sure where the friend wandered off to, but haven’t seen her anywhere since Sean walked up. Probably left her on the floor laughing her ass off, for reelz. At some point the producers take Abby aside for an interview about Sean. She’s talking and says (this is a direct quote) “I can’t wait to start my relationship with Chris”. The producer says “it’s Sean”. Abby is totally busted, looks guilty, and finally decides she had better cry. GOLD! TLC has struck gold, I tell you!!! I’ve looked for a clip of it, but can’t find it.

If you haven’t watched it, watch it just for the clip of Abby getting his name wrong….


6 thoughts on “90 Day Freaks, before the 90 days

  1. This show is so full of awkward moments – reality gold!! Love how Jessie showed up with a banner including a photo of himself on it & mostly ignored her story of grave danger involving the shoe.
    Was so hoping the dog was sniffing his mom’s clump of hair. Imagine that conversation with foreign police while lugging a ton of large military style luggage into the jungle.
    Sean looks like he is her teacher than her boyfriend. He definitely seemed to have second thoughts after seeing Haiti poverty in person as to her motivation in contacting him first. Not to mention next week preview of them throwing the 190 pairs of panties & other clothes he brought for her to resell.
    For additional laughs & info check out the threads on reddit for both 90 day shows. There is other updates on couples not currently being shown like Nicole/Azan – mighty interesting stuff.


  2. I live for this show! As much as I love 90 day fiance, this is all that and so much more!!

    How did I miss that weird Kentucky has multiple felonies?

    Everyone of these people are so messed up!!

    Still working 7 days a week and crazy hours . I should steal your name no life

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I just discovered this show by clicking on a random video titled “the world’s worst gold digger” ( or something like that…) I was introduced to Jorge & Anfisa…Oh.My.God!! I cannot get enough of this trainwreck of a show!! And my new favorite couple has to be Darcey & Jessie. I cracked up when she was jabbering on about her shoe getting stuck and he couldn’t care less. Did you catch her saying “And I broke my thumb…” and he just completely ignored that comment?? I love these guys that claim to be looking for something “serious” and “meaningful” and then plaster their online profiles with more provocative underwear photos than Marky Mark.

    And I DIED when she pushed to make their relationship “Facebook Official”. Oh dear Lord — did she spray herself with Eau de Desperation along with the bronzing gel & anti-wrinkle cream in the duty-free shop?

    Liked by 1 person

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