War of the Darbys 

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I’m not big on saying Happy Memorial Day. Maybe it’s because Memorial Day isn’t about the living. It’s about honoring those who gave their lives for our country. It could also be that the lesson is so ingrained in me since a lot of my family and friends have been in the military. Anyway,  I hope everyone enjoys the extra day off.

This week, we start immediately with Ashley and Michael arguing. Ashley calls Michael an insane asshole. Michael sees the cameras and tells them no and wants them to go. So the production crew goes ninja and films from a distance. Do Michael and Ashley realize they are mic’d? Just because you can’t see the cameras doesn’t mean we can’t still see and hear you.

And now we’re back to 8 days earlier. Let’s see how it all began, shall we??

Ashley and Brad, her executive chef, are updating the menu. Some of the food actually looks good. There’s cameras there, so it looks like they are going to do some sort of photo shoot. Ashley is explaining the changes and is hosting a critic’s dinner. She’s talking trash about Robyn and Gizelle not owning businesses so they should keep their mouths shut.

The Dixon family arrives at basketball camp. Juan greets the kids and one kid is super excited to see him. Juan really looks like he’s in his element here. Robyn is gushing. It’s cute.

In keeping with the sports theme, Karen arrives at Top Golf and checks in. We just got a Top Golf here. I haven’t been there yet; I am not a golfer. I want to learn, but have no one to teach me and unless I do private lessons; the days and times for public lessons don’t work for me. But I digress… Karen checks in and waits for her guests to arrive. First to arrive is Monique. She is wearing wedges, a boobie shirt and printed shorts. She calls golf clothes old lady wardrobe. Umm, it’s what you wear. Not heels. Apparently, it’s only the day after the PAVE event. Monique thanks Karen again and says it was really informative.

Monique takes a swing from the box at the driving range and misses. Karen has this look on her face that I can only describe as “bitch, please.” Strike two for Monique. One more and she’s out. Oh wait, wrong sport. I’d probably suck at golf. Monique says she should imagine someone she doesn’t like’s head is the ball. And guess what, she hits it. Karen asks whose head… can ya guess? Can ya? Can ya? If you guessed Gizelle, you’d win.

Karen tells Monique she told Gizelle the night before that there was to be no nonsense. She asks Monique what happened and Monique explains. The etiquette queen is not happy and wants to bring everyone together.

Next to arrive is Ashley wearing leggings and heels. She hits the ball first try and Karen asks whose head she was imagining. Ashley tells her what Gizelle and Robyn did at the restaurant and what happened between her and Charrisse. Karen immediately asks what Ashley did. Cue flashback to shopping day. Karen tells Ashley to dial it back and mind her business when it comes to Juan and Robyn.

Commercial 1: I am tempted to not fix any of the million typos on this recap.  They are actually kind of funny. It’s hot and I’m being lazy, so I’m typing this on my phone instead of the computer.

There is a fly in the house and it’s driving me crazy! I need to find the swatter.

At the Samuels house, Chris and Monique are tag teaming and putting the kids to bed. Monique is with little Chris singing a song, and Chris is rocking the baby and singing her a song. Such a nice family moment. After the kids are in bed, Chris and Monique go sit outside by the fire pit and talk about the new house and joke around.

Gizelle and Kevin, who is still listed on the title card as her “friend” arrive at an indoor go-cart racing place. They are meeting Karen and DBBG for a double date. Karen is less than impressed with the place. Gizelle is looking forward to seeing Karen so she can give Gizelle her opinion on Kevin. The four of them get suited up and start racing. Karen is killing it! DBBG is bringing up the rear. Lol

After racing, Karen takes Kevin aside to talk with him. Gizelle is left with DBBG, and calls him Uncle Benz. Hahaha! I love it! Karen and Kevin are chatting while Gizelle and DBBG talk at another table. Karen is firing questions at Kevin and asks him what his intentions are. He says he aspires to be married like her and DBBG. These are questions that a good friend would ask anyone dating his or her BFF. Lord knows, both my BFFs have done this same thing with guys I’ve dated. Except one. 😊 Gizelle is over it and she and DBBG go to find their respective partners.

At the Darby apartment, Michael wakes Ashley. Ashley laments the loss of their morning routine. Michael asks how the photo shoot went and she drops the new menu bomb. Michael looks pissed. He asks about the marketing and Ashley tells him about the critics dinner she wants to have in a couple of days. Negative Nancy… sorry, Michael starts listing all the things that could result from a bad dinner. He realizes that it’s already a done deal and is super pissed. Ashley mentions that she wants to invite the ladies and Michael really doesn’t want that to happen. Michael gives in and Ashley asks if this is how it will be with a baby. Michael tells her no because she’s going to do whatever he tells her to do with “the child” just like he lets her do whatever she wants with the restaurant. That’s not really how it works, Michael. A baby and a restaurant are not even close to being comparable. Ugh, I hate him. He’s the worst.

Commercial 2: I just kicked the dog in the face. He put his toy on the couch and when I went to kick it off for him, he tried to grab it and I nailed him in the face. My poor baby!

38 minutes to go. This is a really slow moving episode. I’m about to open the bottle of Chandon sparkling red. This show drives me to drink. Why can’t I quit you??

When we get back, the ladies are receiving their invitations to the dinner. Charrisse’s reaction is the best. Lol.

At the Dixon house, Corey and Carter are helping Juan and Robyn cook dinner for Robyn’s mom for her birthday. Robyn and Juan are arguing when her parents arrive, but stop before they get to the kitchen. OMG, those boys are so damn cute!

Robyn asks her mom about her history and says she wants to do an ancestry.com thing. Her mom doesn’t seem too in to the idea.

It’s gift time and Carter says if there’s money in the card, he wants some. Haha. Robyn reads the card outloud. There’s definite tenstion between Juan and Robyn.

At the Huger house, Karen is getting ready for her boudoir photo shoot and Gizelle arrives for moral support. Gizelle is wearing a leopard cat suit. The lady of the house is not pleased. As the photographer sets up, Gizelle and Karen talk poses and outfits. The conversation moves to Kevin and Karen says she doesn’t think Kevin is the one. She thinks Kevin is too nice for Gizelle.

When Karen leaves the room, Gizelle starts posing for the camera. Karen comes back in and is not happy. She snarks that it’s not about Gizelle and apologizes to the photographer.  The photos look really good.

Commercial 3: 30 minutes to go. I want to go to the beach. Of course, there are no free weekends until July. Maybe I’ll take a day off work after school is out and we can go. It might be less crowded. We shall see.

Ooohhh, Nashville starts this week! Does anyone watch it? Should we do a discussion thread? I don’t want to recap it because I love it so much, I just want to watch it. But I am always up for talking about it. Let me know what you think.

Back in Virginia, it’s one hour to the big Oz dinner. Ashley is nervous that Michael isn’t there yet. He calls her and she stands her ground saying he needs to be there, it’s a big night and they will discuss their issues later. Apparently he’s sitting outside in the car. Jesus, put on you big boy pants and deal with your business. He’s totally tying to sabotage the event. Ashley goes outside to talk to him and here’s where we pick up from the beginning.

They are arguing behind a car. It’s Michael’s way or the highway. Ashley is finally standing up for herself. She says the marriage is over if he shuts down the event and the restaurant. His argument is “it’s my restaurant.” Oooh, good one, Michael. Ashley walks away and goes back inside. Michael follows her in and asks to talk to her. He leads her back outside. He hasn’t shut down the event yet. Ashley continues standing up for herself and Michael apparently wants an apology. Ashley says no. She’s over it. She says he’s her parent and she walks away again and goes back to the restaurant. I actually feel for her. She’s right. This isn’t a partnership. He’s a dictator. It’s his way or the highway. Poor Ashely. She’s giving herself a pep talk in the pantry.

Commercial 4: 22 minutes to go. I need a nap. I know… It’s only 7:30pm. Maybe it’s a go to bed early and watch Netflix kind of night. Who knew going to church and Target could be so exhausting.

Also, I’m down to 7% on my phone. I hope I make it 22 more minutes.

Back at Oz, it’s 30 minutes before dinner. Michael hasn’t shut it down, but he’s pouting and cutting some papers. Ashley goes over to thank him and he starts in again about her saying she’s sorry. He’s kind of got some narcisstic tendencies. He’s acting like he’s doing her a favor by helping.

People start arriving. There are lots of bloggers there. Chris and Monique show up. Now, Robyn and Charrisse show up and go up in the table. Ashley is gracious and greets them. Karen and Gizelle arrive. Gizelle is already talking shit. Jesus, Lord, she’s awful.

Michael and Ashley welcome everyone and Michael won’t shut up. He’s totally stealing Ashley’s thunder and the ladies notice it. There’s definitely tension between the two. Ashley shades Michael when she finally does get to talk.

Everyone starts eating and Michael is sitting with Monique and Chris. Ashley is with the other ladies. Gizelle is already starting again. And Ashley finally apologies to Charrisse. And tries to explain. Ashley is trying so hard to move on. But Robyn is trying to explain how she feels.

Commercial 5: 9 minutes left. Awww, my phone charger just magically appeared. Okay, not magically. It was brought to me. At this moment, I remember what I forgot to buy at Target. A new charging cord. This one is shorting out and unless you hold it super still, it goes on and off. I do have another one, but it’s the super short car charging cord. Oh well. The show is almost over. I’ll deal.

And were back with six minutes to go. We pick up right where we left off with the ladies, except for Monique, hashing it out on the patio.

Karen says that it seems like there’s something going on with Ashley and she finally fesses up and tells them about having issues with Michael and the restaurant. She says she’s taking it out on the others. It seems like, for the moment, their issues are squashed.

Ashley joins Monique, Chris, and Michael and tells them a little about being outside and her and Michael’s problems. Monique says she and Chris have been there and offers up some advice.

Finally, Ashley says that if Michael keeps disrespecting her like that, she’s not staying in the marriage.

Next time, Monique throws a party for the baby; Monique and Gizelle get into it; Ashley reads the comment cards; and Ashley tells Michael she’s not ready for a baby.

Obviously, I fixed the typos, hopefully I got them all. As always,  thanks for reading!



3 thoughts on “War of the Darbys 

  1. Hey there! Really good recap. I was a actually worried about you cell dying before you finished. I have been wondering about Michael, I’m wondering why he married Ashley? At his age, it’s odd to get married. He acts like her Dad really controlling. I wonder if he was married before. Gizelle, she is pretty but I wonder if all these years shes used it vs growing up. It doesn’t seem like she’s developed a personality. Well..a bitchy one.


    • Thanks, Dee. I was a little worried about the phone, too. But luckily, the best person in the world brought it to me and I was saved!

      Michael and Ashley are a strange couple. I don’t know his history, but I too, wonder if she’s a second wife.

      Gizelle… well, I think she’s just a mean girl.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes…Michael was married before. He has 2 grown kids, one is actually older than Ashley by 2 years or so. I don’t know what these young girls expect when they marry a man almost 30 years older than themselves, if you marry someone who is old enough to be your dad – he’s going to act ‘daddish’.

    Liked by 1 person

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