Below Deck Mediterranean: Chefs, Lies and Facetime

Image result for below deck mediterranean season 2 cast

We open with more Belligerent Bobby yelling at Hannah. Morning comes and Hannah and Malia hug it out and talk about how they are straight. Bobby is running his mouth to the other deckhands about Hannah talking shit. Supposedly, Lauren told Bobby that Hannah said stay away from him, he’s a player.

1. She competed in am instagram contest to win a date with 2 other girls and Bobby #playermove

2. He has put moves on every female on every boat. Just wait Capt Sandy. It is his mission to flip you! You will be dancing on his firepole next week!

Lauren asks Hannah if she missed something last night. Hannah fills her in and includes that Bobby insists that Hannah trashed him to her as well in NY. Lauren says no to Hannah’s face but in confessional says that she was there with him and 2 other girls and Hannah said she couldn’t believe he was doing that to her (Lauren) and she’d be pissed herself.

Team meeting for next group who as celebrity naked photo posters. Does this mean this is the group who is hacking and posting the personal pictures? They are doing a nude newscast. Fun, Bobby will lose his mind. Chef Adam is overwhelmed at the raw diet.

Bobby goes to Lauren and says I need your help and I am pulling you in. She says she wants no part and he says too bad and she better have his back. Dude, you really want her to go against her boss on the 2nd charter of the season? #bobbyisadumbassdouche

Back to Bobby approaching Hannah and apologizes for yelling at her. He very quickly gets into an aggressive mood again. He calls Lauren up. She says fine I will be the liar. This was months ago and I don’t really remember. Can we leave what happened in NY in NY. Bobby insists that isn’t the point and says they are playing games. As Lauren begs to go back to laundry and leaves, Bobby says thanks for your support and fucking Ben. Previews show her facetiming with Ben. I am confused. Ben and Emily are supposedly still a couple and going strong ever since last season.

Bobby tells us how he took Lauren to an event in Ft Lauderdale and she left with Ben. Claims they girls are playing some kind of fucking game. They didn’t even bleep it out. I am surprised. Hannah points out that it has nothing to do with her and he rants some more and claims game playing some more. Ladies, when men are this aggressive and this scared over what you may or may not have said, they are a problem. Run like hell!

Lauren is facetiming Ben who is listed as her boyfriend. She has to tell him I miss you 3 times before he says it back. LOL Bobby is calling his mama crying. OMG he is crying so hard he can’t talk and she’s all it’s ok baby and he’s thinking about Alex. Seems that is his exgirlfriend who he loved but her mama said he didn’t make enough money. Um, maybe her mama thinks you are a grade A douchebag!

All the staff are having their department meeting. The stews are rather horrified by this. Capt Sandy is talking where the deckhands need to improve. Damn, Sandy has some major guns! OMG Bobby thought the shackle was 98m and it’s 27,3m Dude really? I may not know but it also isn’t my job.

Adam is like an afterthought in this show. Don’t you think? We get seconds and then gone. Malia tells us Wes is the kind of guy she should date but he won’t date coworkers.

Bugsy on the phone with her mom crying and doesn’t know what to do. Lauren tells Hannah. Hannah runs down and Bugs’ grandma passed away. That has to be so hard to be so far away when that happens. Hannah handles it very compassionately. Sandy’s first words to Hannah were does she need to fly home. Sandy goes down to talk to her. They talk about how close she was with her. Sounds like Bugs is going to stick it out. Adam gives her a big hug.

Everyone is late the dock and Sandy is harassing them all via radio. Here comes the people from Bobby’s clan… the douchebag porn posters. I am surprised that his wife seems age appropriate. They show a dish and Adam says it’s the nastiest ceviche he’s ever made. The girl guests fight over who is sharing a room with whom.

Everyone is in swimsuits until the boss tells them to get naked. They are filming this. One guy asks the other if his wife is ok with this but then it turns out her thoughts are irrelevant to him. Why ask then? They just leave an ice bucket filled with drinks on the deck for them. Could be easiest charter ever! Now the bottoms are coming off and she’s doing some naked news. Sandy is scorning them because there is a family on the yacht next to them. Meh, it’s Europe. They are way more relaxed than we are. Lauren talks about how awkward things are with her and Bobby and then he tells us he refuses to give her any more attention.

Poor Bugs got full view of the pink! She had to help the girl to get in the hot tub, then deliver a drink.  At this point I called up my super rock solid EXCLUSIVE sources and checked out this guest. I refused to actually click on his website but yes, these are the dickheads buying the hacked celeb photos. I despised this sort of person. It would be one thing if they voluntarily gave them to him or even did a photo shoot for him. Show your cooch to the world if you so choose but do not show someone’s cooch who wasn’t sharing it with you to begin with.

Wes lets out the shackles – no idea when Bobby will get that again.

Lots of vegans on this boat. The raw vegan is getting mushroom ceviche. OMG working in food and beverage I want to punch these people. Oh on bitch doesn’t eat cepholapods. Nothing with tentacles. OMG creep ass men – they start talking about the movie Doppleganger and the guy says oh yeah 18 year old Drew Barrymore naked in the shower after 3 breast reductions. Who would do that? These people are repulsive. I have nothing against porn or nudity, etc. I do have a grudge against assholes. They are jetskiing naked.

Shots are served, dinner is prepping, table is ready. Malia is here to help. Dear Chef Adam, conquering a fantastic meal in a raw diet would be a chef’s huge win! You don’t even seem interested in winning. Lauren goes on break and Bobby is there to make her uncomfortable without saying a word.

Adam is all excited that Malia is there to help him in the galley. Lauren goes downstairs to grab Bobby to talk. She’s so uncomfortable. In her confessional she says she will tell him anything to make him happy. Guests go to bed what seems to be early. Lauren apologizes for hurting him however she hurt him. He admits that he jumped to conclusions. Heck, Bobby actually calls her out saying she is going back and forth and confusing him. Lauren tells him how stupid it is. They are on deck screaming and smoking and cursing and I am sure the guests and everyone else can hear them. I’ve seen people post they think Lauren is a shit stirrer. I think she’s doing whatever it takes to get by with a crazy man around. I wouldn’t do the same as her. Heck, I would have been fired for punching him in those weird, pinched in teefs he got! Um, Bobby is 31??? He acts 13 and looks 45 to me.

Morning has come and so did the douchy guests I am sure. Wes heads to the bridge and Sandy tells him they are going to try the rock tie off again. Bobby is yapping at Max about how the shit that happened with Lauren is ruining his chances with the other girls. OK Bobby, OK. Lauren asks to talk to Hannah. I predict Hannah loses it on Bobby because she is very protective of her crew. She’s venting about Bobby talking about her and making her uncomfortable. Hannah has no time for tears and tantrums. We don’t see the outcome yet.

Sandy came out to see the guests and she comes across more Julie McCoy than Captain Stubing and it isn’t even about being female. She’s all about the enjoyment and talking and interacting with the guests. Maybe the best Captain does all that and drives. Who knows. I was on a private yacht once (110′) and never even saw the captain.

Back to the chain up. Even i can see that is a perfect rock for this. OK, so the view from the ship is stunning and the view of the ship coming into the cove was pretty spectacular too.  I was confused by the location of Hvar. My super secret sources tell me it’s an island off Croatia.

Image result for hvar

Ok everything is happening at once and chaos. We have the sink overflowing, the wind picking up and drifting into the rocks/cliff and the sink is now backing up into the hallway. All while Hannah is serenely serving the guests, never showing a crack. Sandy goes and wakes Wes up for help. The guests are taking selfie videos. Uh oh, the guests have notices that the ship has drifted but say she’s a bad ass captain. She sends Max out in the tender to push the boat. I am assuming this wha wha, wha wha, wha wha we hear is an alarm of some sort.

I LOVE BUGS! Previews show Lauren all distraught and weepy about Bobby’s behavior and Bugs is shown saying he’s just a boy get over it! Also danger with the anchor all tangled.

This is the shortest recap I have ever done. I just can’t stand the storyline they are doing. I would assume it’s a bad edit of Bobby and a set up except for how incredibly heinous and abusive his behavior got on WWHL. This is who he really is. It might be exaggerated for TV but it’s him. He’s ruining the whole show for me.  Dear Bravo, make a quick change or I need to not watch anymore. You all know they stop by and read here. LOL



6 thoughts on “Below Deck Mediterranean: Chefs, Lies and Facetime

  1. I hate Bobby. He does not.know how to interact with women at all. He thinks the only women he needs to talk to are the one ‘s he is interested in hooking up with. He also has such a huge ego that he thinks that everyone wants him. He is definitely ruining this show for me. He’s such an aggressive neanderthal. Also he seems to be completely inept at his job.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank God I’m not alone. There are some women out there blinded by his pretty face, oh wait….. gorgeous smile, oh wait…… great body. Yeah, that’s it his body. That’s about the only thing be has going for him and even that is probably steroids with the way be rages. Last season the butt chin bosun egged him on a lot with behavior but I don’t see that happening with Wes. He’s pretty alone with his doucheness

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I really like that all the women are getting along – finally a season where they are

    And while Captian Sandy does micro mangage I like that she does not yell or demean but is willing to try to teach them to be better !

    I think once she sees who is capable she will back off of those but she manages differently than say Captain Lee who expects you can do your job and when you can’t would have gone nuts on you in a hurry for dumping that anchor like Bobby did !


  3. Oh I just re read this recap and Lord I did not pick up that these guests were the ones that profited by posting naked pics of celebs that did not give permission to have their bits and pieces exposed and published !

    What scum of the earth to do that to other people . I’m fine w posing naked if YOU want to do that and have it posted but not if someone takes that image you never intended to have others see and posts it !

    How gross and to know they make such money from it they can afford this luxury trip

    Liked by 1 person

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