Southern Charm Savannah: Welcome to Savannah

We start with respecting the culture, that everyone is related, “be careful who you kiss around here”, most haunted city, old money, the kind of money it isn’t proper to mention.

“They say, if your blood’s not from here, you are not from here.” When I lived in Jackson, MS, I actually had someone tell me a cat can have kittens in an oven but that don’t make them biscuits. It was their way of telling me I was not a Jacksonian and my kids wouldn’t be either. OK, no biggie to me.

Ashley is a steel magnolia and not a Southern belle, then it shows her basically yelling at everyone.

Theme song is cool and opening song is even better. Seems like a lot more opening scenes of the city which makes me very happy! Oh look, did I not tell you we would be seeing a lot of naked David based on his instagram and there he is 100% naked getting in the shower. Nice ass my friend. It is quite acceptable. I may or may not have paused and rewound. This girl has an odd walk. Call me judgmental. Party planning at a pier which is at an amazing house! Nelson’s house. Ashley comes running up. She has her own style and is a stylist. Works with the afternoon news show The Bridge and the PBS station as a stylist. In Savannah you start cocktail hour any dayum (damn is a 3 syllable word in the south) time you want. No matter the watch you wear, it’s stuck at 5pm. I may gag here! This Nelson dude is all about upper echelon, Savannah Country Day School (where these guys actually know each other from  – SHOCKING!), rolex, etc.  If you have to brag about it, you don’t have it!  1st rule of the hoity toity in Savannah is send your kids to Savannah Country Day or as it’s known, Country Pay. 1st-5th is almost $17k and 6-12 is $20k. Pricy but not the most expensive out there. Kind of middle of the road compared to some. God I do not like this Nelson – he is a pompous ass!! He’s the one who claims to be the Kennedy of the South but hello, please be sure to go look at the into article I wrote about them and linked to his troubles. That was just the most ironic of them because he has a long list.  Go ahead, google, I will wait.

Catherine shows up, she’s known him since 4th grade and knew of Ashley. Nelson isn’t even a full cast member so why am I being forced to suffer through so much of him.  Ashley came dressed in her swimsuit and jumps in the water.

Next up is Hannah and Daniel.  Hannah starts with she didn’t go to Savannah Country Day but grew up in Atlanta and went to Woodward Academy which she thinks might be a sister school. No girl. Your school was $27k! Take that Nelson!  Daniel and Hannah are making dinner, but Hannah has been dating Louis since she moved from Atlanta 5 years ago. She met Daniel 6 weeks after moving to Savannah. She seemed to know him because he was on the same study abroad trip with her sister. In walks Louis, Hannah’s boyfriend. He cuts Daniel off with his good news to greet Hannah properly. He has just quit his job so go start his own sock business. I may need more brownie in a mug for this.  Hannah says Louis is a mama’s boy and he says but he’s also a grown asyyuss  (3 syllables) man. They are pretty cute together. She goes on in her confessional to say that these Savannah boys are breastfed until they are 30 years old. I am really liking Hannah almost proportionally to how much I disliked Nelson.

More gorgeous city views. Some sort of photo shoot is happening with Ashley. She mentions her parents are both doctors and she is a fashion designer. If you look at my intro blog, she has a really great company right now that is linked in there. Good works kind of stuff.  Seems she had Kate Middleton as a model. She talks about how she made her own money and never lived off a trust fund. She has lived in Dubai, Africa, Europe. She heard ‘Georgia On My Mind’ started crying and had to go home. Ok. Daniel is taking part of the photo shoot. He approaches one of the models and says, you went to country day right? She says she did not. OK, Pause again. Is Country Day sponsoring this show? These people are 30+ years old. Do you guys open your conversations with where someone went to high school and elementary school? I know I don’t. I don’t even open with college! I mean wtf?! I feel like I am in an alternate universe. This is quite unlike most reality shows because:

1. They seem to all legitimately have grown up together. They may not have all been close friends, but they all knew one another and went to the same school (except Hannah). This is a far bigger connection than most other reality shows.

2. It still seems very staged. Maybe it’s all being exaggerated so we get to “know” their roles.

unpause~!  All the girls are always after the hottie Daniel. OMG Ashley just said what I was thinking. As she’s going on about how hot he is and how the ladies love him, I am thinking he reminds me of Johnny Depp but in the worst possible ways. He looks unbathed, unkempt and just icky. She says she loves him but sometimes wants to just cut his hair and make him take a shower. LOL My soul sister! Sidenote: I can tell you from first hand experience that you can smell things when near to some actors who won’t be reading this blog but look like pirates. While I didn’t get the point of the actual photo shoot, the photos they showed were very nice.

Catherine’s dad says they call this the little Buckhead of the South. Um, Buckhead IS in the South! Catherine isn’t the brightest based on her confessional, or maybe she’s just drunk. $20k a year and she’s unsure of colonists. They are planning a welcome home party for Lyle. They are picking up a 38 lb pig for a roast. It’s wrapped in saran wrap and papa Chuck is carrying it, face and all. I love me a good pig roast, but don’t want to see it pre-cooking. My family has hosted more than one pig roast in my youth with far bigger pigs.  They cooked in a deep pit for a few days. Seriously good eats. But I wouldn’t look at the face. Maybe I am a bacon and steak loving vegetarian?

Lyle has arrived. Seems they were all quite close back in the day. Again, foreign concept for reality shows LOL.  Coops is Catherine’s nickname it seems.  He actually asked her how big her bush was! He is extremely Southern. He may need subtitles at times. He’s pressing for marriage for sure. Later in previews we see him asking her father’s permission.

The boys breakdown Savannah Speak for us:

Full lou – when you are going a little too hard and maybe you’ve lost your wallet, phone, keys , watch, broke up with girlfriend, fell asleep in hotel lobby and where are my shoes. It only took a moment to realize it was regarding something that happened back in the day with Louis.

Catherine’s parents are called Chuck and Big Cat. For real! I guess big cat is better than big pus!  She’s been living at their home rent free because they moved to Grandma’s house, Beaulieu Plantation. She says it’s a little plantation and the producer is saying Come on it’s not a little plantation.  Catherine hates the word plantation.

Image result for beaulieu plantation savannah ga

This tree-lined drive marks the entrance to Beaulieu Plantation, the estate of William Stephens, who came to Savannah in 1737 to serve as secretary of Trustee Georgia. Beaulieu was one of the leading river plantations, and Stephens experimented with grape and cotton cultivation.

It’s a big deal and I want everyone to note that they are all talking about COLONIAL history – you know Pre-Revolutionary and NOT Civil War and Antebellum history. I’m just saying.  See everyone was a colonist and no one was a yankee 😉

I am confused because it then shows her little apartment downtown. But she was bragging about living in mom and dad’s empty house. I think maybe she uses it as a party crash pad.

Brandon, the friend helping set up asks about Nelson and she says he’s a super character so the guy googles him. He sees all the different things I see and says the party is going to get real interesting real quick! LOL I like the party planners.  They are so awesome! Catherine’s hair in her confessionals looks like a Kim Z wig and nothing like during filming. It’s darker and plasticy?

Knife stabbed in the middle of the head of the roasted pig! UGH! Here is his list of where he fooled around with Catherine. Lyle is like most Southern frat boys I’ve met. NELSON IS STRAIGHT! WTH? Ashley confirms this. He is going on about how hot his girlfriend is. I am not sure I buy this. I don’t care what your affiliation is and am a proud and fervent allie. Hard not to be living in Orlando. My daughter has been to several gay weddings and has more uncles than anyone could imagine. My gaydar is screaming loud here but I will accept Nelson at his word, but I want to mention, anytime you actually have an extended segment in a reality show pushing us to believe you are straight, IT IS HIGHLY SUSPECT! Show me with you actions and not your words! Oh lordy, he has always had a flair for European women. Well so had Whitney!

Ashley is married! Shocking! Her husband is introduced to Chuck, Catherine’s dad. He tells a story from when she was a young kid. Ashley was the nerd. These cocktails look so delicious!

Que montage of every cast member saying that no one knows what’s really going on with Catherine and Lyle. Ashley points out that if they were really in love, they’d be married with a bunch of babies.  I kind of agree. I think they may be habit and expected to be together. Ashley has asked to keep the pig skull and is going to bleach it and display with the other animal skulls and dinosaur poop in her house. Does anyone else want to check out this chick’s house?

Nelson is dipping his girlfriend and grunting. Try too much? Is this some sort of hetero ritual I have never been exposed to?

Oh so Catherine is blue blooded – well duh, i researched granny’s plantation. Without a doubt blue blooded. Ashley wants everyone to go swimming.

Bruce and Brandon flat out tell Nelson that they googled him and that she should run for his life! LOL They talk about how he pretended to be other people. They talk about the article I posted but keep looking kids. There are many more to see. Catherine tries to run away and Brandon holds her captive. Nelson is such a weenie. I just can’t with him and his girlfriend is named Happy. They talk about him having impersonated a congressman and also made himself some minister of something in the Bahamas. He compares himself to Donald Trump maybe? The brunette who I am not sure who she is says he tarnishes the family name, she grew up with him so it’s not Hannah.

I think Ashley works hard to be edgy I could do without the nasty skull playtime.

I am getting distracted and can’t figure out why.  Previews show Ashley’s house on fire. Said so casually.

We were supposed to go to Savannah for spring break and didn’t and now I absolutely need a fix!

Open from commercial to Daniel in boxers or shorts. Then he is in a towel and HELLO HE IS NAKED AGAIN! My 12 year old just walked in the room at that moment. She was like – um, what is going on? He recites a credit card number, offers the housekeeper a beer while she’s working. Then wanders to the couch to work.  Seems his father had a massive scandal with 77 indictments of embezzlement and other things. He took a plea and went to prison for a year. Daniel says he grew up instantly. He has tripled the firms size. Daniel’s family is a settling family of Savannah and they were Jewish. Very cutting edge. They talk about the Oglethorp club and how he couldn’t be a member probably because he was Jewish and so he built a bigger house next door. Great great grandpa was badass.

Love the music. Oh now we get a little Confederate pride – seems Sherman had a mistress in Savannah and she talked him into leaving the city alone. I will be researching that later. Ashley talks about how strong she is and how women are in charge, etc. These girls are out to party. The whole fire phone call was surreal. Someone is in the house fighting the fire and she leaves in an Uber. They all leave with togo cups – um ILLEGAL!

My butt is numb from sitting here so long – just saying.

I think Ashley is in shock. Izzy’s bed caught fire. Her dog is freaking out. It has to be overwhelming  Izzy is being taken to the hospital because he has blistering on his foot. Doesn’t sound good.

Episode 1 was definitely a little different from most reality shows. And then Shep shows up later in the season.

Why is Nelson on so much if he’s not a character? I wonder if he is a producer? I haven’t really looked. There isn’t an imdb page for it yet.

I think I will enjoy this show. Will be interesting for sure!

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4 thoughts on “Southern Charm Savannah: Welcome to Savannah

  1. I fell in love with Savannah when I saw “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” – so I have mixed feelings about them filming a reality show in such a beautiful and sacred place.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I remember this “type” of thinking. When I went to Georgia to visit Aunts, Uncles, cousins, my cousins all said I was a Yankee. I didn’t understand that at all. I guess I talked different but I was family so it hurt me as a child to have someone say that to me. HMM, that may explain my fascination with a certain someone TT, I hear that we try to recreate our childhood over and over again, wonder if that’s true? I sure hope not! My childhood was full of fear.

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