Southern Charm: Craig of All Trades, Master of None

Late again! I was on vacation and had just gotten home. I passed out! I think I was asleep by 8:30. TV was on and I woke up around 1230 and caught the end of the show.  Tonight is Below Deck Mediterranean with the lady captain. I will be on time with that. Next week starts Southern Charm Savannah. I can’t wait for that one either!

Opening shows everyone with their babies, Thomas coming from dance with the kids, Craig and Gizmo and Pat and Chauncey.

Next up we have Cameran revealing she was a witch. She’s with her mom checking out the hoodoo dolls, which seem to be the same as voodoo but that’s New Orleans and this is Charleston. She orders a love spell doll for Shep. Mama is smarter than Cam, she pinpoints the question of whether Shep is wanting love. Cam says yes, but he won’t admit it.

Next we see Shep and Austen playing bastketball. Austen makes fun of Shep’s cargo shorts. Montage of Shep missing every shot while voiceover says he was a country club all star.  OK, I don’t quite buy it. Maybe at 15. Shep is winded and hunched over while Asten seems fine. Shep actually won!!!! Austen nails it regarding Shep that he is pushing 40 and living a poor lifestyle. Austen asks if he feels like this when he has sex and Shep replies it never lasts 10 minutes. Now the confrontation of where are Austen and Chelsea heading. Shep insists that he should have texted him and gotten clearance. Then asks his intentions. OMG now she’s probably not his type (said in a pouty voice).

Whitney is ordering a drink for Thomas for their dinner date. He ordered all the food and claims Thomas was an hour late. Poor Whitney, nearly stood up! Thomas says he’s Mr. Mom. He’s lost his mojo and is just an old man now. He claims he could walk into a bar and own the place because of a certain pair of khakis. Um, no! They didn’t accentuate your ass, they accentuated your wallet. His monologue says the women he is interested in are concerned about him and his reputation. Flash to Danni (I think) and she says, well there was your conviction. I feel like Kathryn being tied to him for the rest of their lives is a bigger deterrent than the conviction.  Thomas, stop drinking, quite being creepy and go for a generation up. Thats still really young. Late 30s and 40s are 1-2 decades younger than you and more likely to accept your flaws than a 20 year old. I know better than to suggest he date a 50 year old woman. Who wants to have raised their kids, maybe even gotten some grandkids and take on 2 more babies? Ok, I am super judgy today.

We see a preview before break of Jennifer Snowden and Kathryn show down. I did some research and found this!! What we won’t see is Kathryn having a hissy fit and telling off the producer.  http://www.allaboutthetea.com/2017/05/01/kathryn-dennis-snaps-at-producer-for-filming-jennifer-snowdens-baby-crisis-instead-of-kathryns-attack/

I also learned through super secret sources aka other websites LOL, that Kathryn left rehab in Malibu early for some guy! She also failed the most recent of drug tests.

We open with Kathryn talking about why she wasn’t close to Jennifer anymore. Is it really because Thomas gave her a hankerchief at the reunion? I missed that drama. Kathryn is searching for an understanding of what she witnessed between she and Thomas. For real? This chick has lost her last brain cell!

Craig failing on making a protein shake and then the doorbell rings. “Oh presents” at the sight of a bunch of amazon boxes. He bought a sewing machine. Seems he loves sewing. Oh, Gizmo!! Love that cat. Rumor has it that Naomi has adopted a friend for him. He calls Naomi to tell her about the sewing machine with embroidery attachment. This isn’t a cheap machine.

Oh Oh Oh Oh Jennifer walks in to meet Kathryn. She was excited to hear from Kathryn. Kathryn is being cold. Jennifer says she doesn’t understand what she did to upset her. Kathryn says in NY she didn’t know Thomas and Jennifer made up. Jennifer says he passed me a hankerchief and I’d rather have had a hug from you! Good point girl. Jennifer tells her how this was a particular time of need because of the pregnancy with a baby who was severely at risk. Gosh I am digging Jennifer here. Kathryn is freaking insane! Kathryn claims that Jennifer can’t own up to anything. Seriously, what did she do? Jennifer asks if she wants to know about her son at all. Kathryn  looks and sounds like hell to me.  Makeup is very harsh to match her attitude. Not a single smile and she has the most stank look on her face. Not even a smile or softening when she says she is happy to hear that Jennifer’s baby boy is okay now. She is so cold and distant. Jennifer is crying about her son, about missing Kathryn and not knowing what she did and Kathryn says I don’t want to talk about that right now. She claims she has no ill will or feelings. Says they won’t be on the same page. WTF did I miss here? Can’t reason with crazy people.

Opening at Shep’s house. It looks clean! His lighter is always nearby. Other times they show the over flowing ashtrays. Shep calls his mommy and mentions how bad he hurt after playing basketball and how he made a doctor’s appointment. Kudos to him for actually doing something about it. His dad had a heart attack around Shep’s current age. He says he will make any changes necessary.

Austen and Landon are hanging out for drinks which is weird to me. Have they even talked much? Oh she’s doing a review for Roam her website. Even Austen is confused about the concept. Roam no longer exists either. I think Austen nailed it that it’s an excuse to get food and drink. Landon mentions that Cam tried to set up Shep and Chelsea a year ago and Shep wasn’t interested and now he’s only interested because Austen is.

Go Austen! He just called Landon pretentious and obnoxious in response to her not liking Vail because it’s like a truck stop on the side of the road when Aspen is a real town. So let’s revisit when she supposedly told the investors that she doesn’t hang with  millionaires, she hangs with billionaires. I totally believe it now.  . What a nasty, pompous snot! She talks about how she learns a lot about people when you travel together. Her last 3 relationships ended when they went away for the weekend. IF  you don’t have a dinner jacket and athletic shorts (note Shep said he didn’t own any during the basketball game) then you aren’t cultured enough for her.Austen says she’s a cougar because she’s 9 years older than Drew. Um, Austen, Chelsea is 5 or 6 older than you.

I love Cameran’s house. It’s so me. We see her wandering around to find a good spot for her doll, Mama Estelle. She’s calling about a listing that just went under contract. The house was for Craig. she’s calling him to break the news and he’s busy sewing. It’s alright because he hadn’t run the numbers and done the algebra, things like landlord insurance, taxes, etc. I think they are living in a rental currently, so why would he purchase a property to rent? I am confused here. Cam is mumbling how confused she is but that she doesn’t care. No girl, get that commission.  Last season Craig and Naomi were in a different house that was a freebie that was on the market. Makes me wonder.

I just adore Thomas’ house as well. Here he is pouring a not Gentry bourbon and coke while we see his polo awards. He calls Landon. Gag! He invites her out tomorrow night but she’s going to see Phish, which she mentions is a concert. He seems put out at the explanation. They make tentative plans for earlier in the day. Thomas explains a day date is being put in the friend zone and he’s fearful of it. I did not know that! I am a busy, busy girl and day dates are often the only thing that fits. Now I know I guess.

Shep is at the doctor’s office. The doc is a friend of Thomas’ so he hopes the judgement level is lower than a normal physician. The nurse is cute and he hasn’t hit on her yet. Do you smoke, yes/ Do you drink? yes. How many per night? 7,8,9 maybe? Does a shot count? yes, then 12. Holy cow man!  He mentions every time that he was winning the basketball game. He’s very honest with the doctor about how he was doubled over and is concerned about the history of heart disease in his family.  They do the regular doctor stuff. Doc tells him to stop drinking for a week and he will feel better. Let’s see how long this lasts.

Previews for where I would absolutely kill Craig is I were Naomi.

Thomas and Landon are having lunch and Landon is a royal pain in the ass! If I were her server I’d never come back to that table. Thomas is smart, he wants a resposado tequilla with a splash of lime  – dude knows his alcohol. Landon knows her mixers. Thomas talks about how every girl he talked to said they were bored! LOL Landon mentions he shouldn’t’ go out hoping to score on a weekend night. Now he wishes he listened to his dad about settling down.  Dear Landon, just because Drew hasn’t been to NYC doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in the rest of the world. He’s still a baby! You can’t expect a lot our of him instantly. Give him a chance. Thomas is really working this hard to establish a budding relationship. We all know that Landon is just playing hard to get. She wants his bank account so badly.

Craig is making dinner for Naomi. He mentions he’s a big rom-com guy and seems to take that as his romantic bible. He’s setting dinner up on the parents’ deck. Here comes Naomi. she seems excited he was cooking. It’s nice and romantic and she’s very appreciative of the effort. She even mentions it is things like this that helps her put up with all his shit. He talks about how he has all of these projects going on. Naomi mentions that she heard he’s looking for a rental property. She points out he can’t do 100 things at the same time and do them all well.  He claims she’s never seen it and we get a flashback to the charity event. Now he has filed articles of incorporation with someone named Josh to start a clothing line. What partner takes things this far without discussing it with their significant other? She points out that it’s been years regarding the bar. He doesn’t expect this from her. Naomi is hammering the last minute mentality that Craig has. she brings up how he is doing NOTHING to become a lawyer. He refuses to answer if he wants to be a lawyer. He is dancing around the question and bringing a bunch of nonsense up. Now he wants to be a special agent in the FBI which she seems to have not heard of. Now he says you are being kind of silly and ignorant and you are acting kind of dumb. She calls him out instantly. Demands an apology and tells him he doesn’t get to talk to her that way. He doesn’t like that she’s asked him the same question 5 times in a row and she says it’s because he won’t answer it. He’s done.

Previews have Whitney asking if Thomas and Landon were to get married would he have a prenup. He says no he trusts her. Que Landon all out chasing Thomas. More tension with and drama with Craig and Naomi. Girl you are too good for him!!! Unfortunately, we know via snapchat and twitter that they are still going strong. I hope his passing the bar has helped this out.

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24 thoughts on “Southern Charm: Craig of All Trades, Master of None

  1. Odd I thought I commented, it was a great recap. I can’t believe how mean Kathryn appeared. She is acting as if Jennifer’s son was a story line, not real life. I am very disappointed in her

    Liked by 1 person

    • Did you read the link I couldn’t actually link. I guess she had a complete nasty melt down, screaming at the producers because they were focusing on the baby and not her. I have always loved her for the entertainment value but let’s be honest. She auditioned and didn’t get cast and then inserted herself by having sex with each male character until someone stuck. At least she used to be fun to watch. Now she just makes me angry. I try to have sympathy for anyone with an addiction. It’s a rough road, but she’s not ready to clean up.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I did see the link and while I can see where they could have cut and edited her performance, the way he was looking at Jennifer was awful.
        They say she stopped filming to go yell at producers for not making her “story line”the subject. I think she is going off the deep end not to be able to be compassionate to others. She could have faked it and got support.
        I used to be 100% on her side but now I’m on her children’s side. Poor little things

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It used to drive me insane that you couldn’t say anything about Kathryn’s behavior on the other site. It was always everyone else’s fault – they were freezing her out because they were jealous of her. Oh…and let’s not forget, SHE’S YOUNG. Poorest excuse ever. They didn’t want to be around her because of her temper tantrums. AATT reported that she broke a $5000 camera, spit at and threw a lit cigarette at someone on the crew and would hold up filming because she would be throwing a fit about something. Security had to be hired because the cast wouldn’t film unless they had protection on site. I totally believe that, she has put her hands on Thomas more than once. Some stranger on the street took a video of her assaulting him in NYC. If Landon wasn’t so disliked, I don’t think Kathryn would have supporters. I was reading her IG and Twitter earlier, and most of them are over her after how she treated Jennifer. She was trying to blame it on editing, and saying how when it comes to her kids, she has to be selfish. Just more of her stupid nonsense.

    Liked by 4 people

    • She’s a horrible person. Anyone who thinks she isn’t needs to open their eyes. Her drug issues were part of why she didn’t finish college. No one on SC drove her to it, she came with the problems. I think she just got a big head like she was the most important person on the show. I loved watching her for the stank value., but thankful I never had to be around her

      Liked by 2 people

      • Also, could she have been colder to Jennifer while she was crying about her baby’s brain surgery? What a cold, heartless bitch.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Ooooh… that’s some good tea, Get Out! I’ve always detested Kathryn… her behind the scenes antics don’t surprise me at all. She is fricking crazy. When she said tonight in her confessional that Jennifer was just social climbing, I was like yeah… we know who the real social climber in this scenario is.
      Also, I agree with you about the other blog and all of the Kathryn love and excuses. I don’t care which family she comes from… they obviously don’t have enough money to fix that creaky, old house that is falling apart.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I think (my opinion) Kathryn has alot of underlying mental health issues and probably self medicates because she’s seeking relief i.m.o. it’s so sad that no one has advocated for her to keep her off tv. This stuff lives forever on the interwebs and I feel bad for their kids who will undoubtedly be affected by all of this.

    Liked by 4 people

    • They already are being effected by custody being taken away from her. I agree, she has to have some wires crossed, but I think another factor is how she was raised. She was probably told how special she was, and was hardly ever told “NO”. I vaguely remember the scene with her Granny, I don’t recall the whole visit, but I’m constantly reading comments about how she coached Kathryn on how to trap a rich man with a pregnancy. If that is what she said, I can only imagine what other stuff was pumped into her head growing up.

      I personally don’t care for Landon, but her and Thomas are both single – if they are seeing each other – they aren’t doing anything wrong. Just because he’s the full-time custodial parent doesn’t mean he can’t have a social life. He obviously has taken his role seriously, passed drug tests (no matter how much someone else says he cheated the system somehow) the children always look clean, happy and healthy in his care. It’s no big whoop that he has Nanny’s, people of means always have help, most of the time they are live-in.

      You know, Kathryn could have 30 people begging her not to go on the show, and she wouldn’t listen. I think it would take legal intervention to keep her off tv. But, you’re right – she needs to keep a low profile and get her shit together.

      .

      Liked by 3 people

      • I remember that scene too, Get out, with Granny. I remember thinking that Kathryn’s family’s coffers were depleted by the looks of their “estate”, and they were hoping she would snag some rich dude to give them a much needed financial boost somehow.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes! I remember that as well. Kathryn has been on a money hunt since the beginning… and clearly granny was influential in that.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I used to get my ass chewed for pointing it out. If you ever get a chance to see season 1 it’s ridiculous how blatant her attempt to get pregnant is. If you remember, when she claimed she was and drunk Thomas took her to buy tests she messed them all up. Was absolutely ridiculous. He’s a fool. And absolute fool.

        Like

  4. I was a Kathryn supporter. I do feel for her and hope she gets her act together- however, facts are facts. She’s continuing to choose drugs over her kids. Until she reaches rock bottom, things are only going to keep spiraling.

    So sad that two littles are without their momma…one who has access to the best treatment. I really hope she gets her shit together before it’s too late.

    Thanks so much for the great recap, Theresa! I won’t have time to watch til tomorrow night. I’m going to read the linked article before I hit the hay.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I think Landon & Thomas were already a couple when this season started filming. Women I know don’t stare at the crotch of a man they aren’t sexually interested in.

    I’d have to go back & watch all the prior seasons to properly judge Kathryn. I did agree w/ her when she said she didn’t want to discuss her relationship w/ Jennifer at the same time as Jennifer was talking about her son, it’s never a good thing to discuss two separate heavily emotional issues at the same time because they do become enmeshed. I don’t think she had the emotional stability to cope with a man like Thomas & I do believe Thomas laid a very heavy mind fuck on her more than once. A stable woman would have walked the F away. Kathryn isn’t. Add addiction to that & there you have her as we are seeing her.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I agree they had to have hooked up. Come on. They were in Palm Springs and new York and Europe at the same time over the past 18 months. Can’t be a coincidence. Either one is a stalker or they are a couple

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Those hoodoo dolls FREAKED me out. I cannot handle things like that. I actually had to keep averting my eyes like I do when I watch The Walking Dead.

    For some reason, Craig doesn’t strike me as being cut out for law. He has so many interests and is actually quite good at what he attempts. He just seems too creative to be an attorney. Just my two cents.

    Kathryn is one sick puppy. I was appalled at how cold and unemotional she was when she met with Jennifer. I felt sorry for Jennifer, she was like, do you want to hear about my baby, with such need in her voice. It was really sad to me. And Kathryn is looking at her like she wishes she was dead, or something. She’s a rotten person, and I’m proud to say, I always hated her…lol.

    I wonder if Shep can do without a drink for a week.

    Liked by 4 people

    • I have never heard of a hoodoo doll until tonight. What’s the diff between a hoodoo doll and a voodoo doll? I wouldn’t play with that shit either, GSnap. Although, I do think they are cool looking and I would like one in my house.
      Good point on Craig’s artistic qualities. I agree that law isn’t for him. He’d be so much better off on the creative side of things.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hey Pip! I really don’t know the difference between a hoodoo doll vs a voodoo doll, but my guess would be one is for good spells and the other for bad spells. Both of them give me the creeps. I had a boss one time that had a voodoo doll attached (somehow) on his inner office door jamb. After I walked out of there, I always wondered how many pins he was sticking in it. Lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I was 22 when I had my first son. My husband and I used to go out every weekend before I got pregnant but a baby makes you grow up. You start to care more about your baby than you do yourself. Well, at least I did. I was unprepared but did my best to get the best life for my child and his brother 6 years later. Kathryn was angry because the “storyline” was about Jennifer, not her. But…for Jennifer this is not a story line this is real life.
    I read an article about the Nanny and daughter and they say Kathryn got reality and real life confused a lot. I feel so bad for those babies.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Great recap, Theresa!
    Could Naomi be any more beautiful? She was stunning out in the deck with the casual braid and clothing. I think she is gorgeous in a simple, natural way.
    Craig buying a sewing machine and discussing eight grade Home Ec cracked me up. I love Craig, he’s kind of a simpleton. I find him amusing.
    One more thing, so many people were onto Landon and her ways early on. Tonight I really saw it. What a pretentious little twit. The Aspen comment, the complicated food orders, the fact that her work is now reviewing restaurants for Roam (she always manages to find a way to avoid REAL work and yet calls it “work”). What a joke. She’s a snot.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree Pip. Landon is a snot. Get out was saying that Kathryn’s grandmother had prepped her growing up on how to secure a rich man by getting pregnant by him. The way Landon behaves, sounds like she got the same course. She’s pretending to be working and tries to make people believe that she is not looking to snare a rich man. First she went after Shep the trust fund baby who wasn’t the least interested and then Thomas. She took care of all of the arrangements for the polo match at his house to prove what an asset she would be for him all the while asserting that his baggage was too heavy because he had Kathryn stuffed in his luggage lol. All she wants is a rich man to take care of her so she can have the money, houses, and family prestige to look down on the common folk. It doesn’t matter that Thomas has served time for criminal behavior or that he is old enough to be her father.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. While I have never liked how Thomas gets a pass for participating in such an unhealthy dynamic (and think it’s gross he is actively pursuing a woman who has basically gone out the way to be cruel to the mother of his children), Katherine needs to get her shit together. She was mean to poor Jennifer. And she’s clearly not sober.

    Liked by 3 people

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