Late again! I was on vacation and had just gotten home. I passed out! I think I was asleep by 8:30. TV was on and I woke up around 1230 and caught the end of the show. Tonight is Below Deck Mediterranean with the lady captain. I will be on time with that. Next week starts Southern Charm Savannah. I can’t wait for that one either!
Opening shows everyone with their babies, Thomas coming from dance with the kids, Craig and Gizmo and Pat and Chauncey.
Next up we have Cameran revealing she was a witch. She’s with her mom checking out the hoodoo dolls, which seem to be the same as voodoo but that’s New Orleans and this is Charleston. She orders a love spell doll for Shep. Mama is smarter than Cam, she pinpoints the question of whether Shep is wanting love. Cam says yes, but he won’t admit it.
Next we see Shep and Austen playing bastketball. Austen makes fun of Shep’s cargo shorts. Montage of Shep missing every shot while voiceover says he was a country club all star. OK, I don’t quite buy it. Maybe at 15. Shep is winded and hunched over while Asten seems fine. Shep actually won!!!! Austen nails it regarding Shep that he is pushing 40 and living a poor lifestyle. Austen asks if he feels like this when he has sex and Shep replies it never lasts 10 minutes. Now the confrontation of where are Austen and Chelsea heading. Shep insists that he should have texted him and gotten clearance. Then asks his intentions. OMG now she’s probably not his type (said in a pouty voice).
Whitney is ordering a drink for Thomas for their dinner date. He ordered all the food and claims Thomas was an hour late. Poor Whitney, nearly stood up! Thomas says he’s Mr. Mom. He’s lost his mojo and is just an old man now. He claims he could walk into a bar and own the place because of a certain pair of khakis. Um, no! They didn’t accentuate your ass, they accentuated your wallet. His monologue says the women he is interested in are concerned about him and his reputation. Flash to Danni (I think) and she says, well there was your conviction. I feel like Kathryn being tied to him for the rest of their lives is a bigger deterrent than the conviction. Thomas, stop drinking, quite being creepy and go for a generation up. Thats still really young. Late 30s and 40s are 1-2 decades younger than you and more likely to accept your flaws than a 20 year old. I know better than to suggest he date a 50 year old woman. Who wants to have raised their kids, maybe even gotten some grandkids and take on 2 more babies? Ok, I am super judgy today.
We see a preview before break of Jennifer Snowden and Kathryn show down. I did some research and found this!! What we won’t see is Kathryn having a hissy fit and telling off the producer. http://www.allaboutthetea.com/2017/05/01/kathryn-dennis-snaps-at-producer-for-filming-jennifer-snowdens-baby-crisis-instead-of-kathryns-attack/
I also learned through super secret sources aka other websites LOL, that Kathryn left rehab in Malibu early for some guy! She also failed the most recent of drug tests.
We open with Kathryn talking about why she wasn’t close to Jennifer anymore. Is it really because Thomas gave her a hankerchief at the reunion? I missed that drama. Kathryn is searching for an understanding of what she witnessed between she and Thomas. For real? This chick has lost her last brain cell!
Craig failing on making a protein shake and then the doorbell rings. “Oh presents” at the sight of a bunch of amazon boxes. He bought a sewing machine. Seems he loves sewing. Oh, Gizmo!! Love that cat. Rumor has it that Naomi has adopted a friend for him. He calls Naomi to tell her about the sewing machine with embroidery attachment. This isn’t a cheap machine.
Oh Oh Oh Oh Jennifer walks in to meet Kathryn. She was excited to hear from Kathryn. Kathryn is being cold. Jennifer says she doesn’t understand what she did to upset her. Kathryn says in NY she didn’t know Thomas and Jennifer made up. Jennifer says he passed me a hankerchief and I’d rather have had a hug from you! Good point girl. Jennifer tells her how this was a particular time of need because of the pregnancy with a baby who was severely at risk. Gosh I am digging Jennifer here. Kathryn is freaking insane! Kathryn claims that Jennifer can’t own up to anything. Seriously, what did she do? Jennifer asks if she wants to know about her son at all. Kathryn looks and sounds like hell to me. Makeup is very harsh to match her attitude. Not a single smile and she has the most stank look on her face. Not even a smile or softening when she says she is happy to hear that Jennifer’s baby boy is okay now. She is so cold and distant. Jennifer is crying about her son, about missing Kathryn and not knowing what she did and Kathryn says I don’t want to talk about that right now. She claims she has no ill will or feelings. Says they won’t be on the same page. WTF did I miss here? Can’t reason with crazy people.
Opening at Shep’s house. It looks clean! His lighter is always nearby. Other times they show the over flowing ashtrays. Shep calls his mommy and mentions how bad he hurt after playing basketball and how he made a doctor’s appointment. Kudos to him for actually doing something about it. His dad had a heart attack around Shep’s current age. He says he will make any changes necessary.
Austen and Landon are hanging out for drinks which is weird to me. Have they even talked much? Oh she’s doing a review for Roam her website. Even Austen is confused about the concept. Roam no longer exists either. I think Austen nailed it that it’s an excuse to get food and drink. Landon mentions that Cam tried to set up Shep and Chelsea a year ago and Shep wasn’t interested and now he’s only interested because Austen is.
Go Austen! He just called Landon pretentious and obnoxious in response to her not liking Vail because it’s like a truck stop on the side of the road when Aspen is a real town. So let’s revisit when she supposedly told the investors that she doesn’t hang with millionaires, she hangs with billionaires. I totally believe it now. . What a nasty, pompous snot! She talks about how she learns a lot about people when you travel together. Her last 3 relationships ended when they went away for the weekend. IF you don’t have a dinner jacket and athletic shorts (note Shep said he didn’t own any during the basketball game) then you aren’t cultured enough for her.Austen says she’s a cougar because she’s 9 years older than Drew. Um, Austen, Chelsea is 5 or 6 older than you.
I love Cameran’s house. It’s so me. We see her wandering around to find a good spot for her doll, Mama Estelle. She’s calling about a listing that just went under contract. The house was for Craig. she’s calling him to break the news and he’s busy sewing. It’s alright because he hadn’t run the numbers and done the algebra, things like landlord insurance, taxes, etc. I think they are living in a rental currently, so why would he purchase a property to rent? I am confused here. Cam is mumbling how confused she is but that she doesn’t care. No girl, get that commission. Last season Craig and Naomi were in a different house that was a freebie that was on the market. Makes me wonder.
I just adore Thomas’ house as well. Here he is pouring a not Gentry bourbon and coke while we see his polo awards. He calls Landon. Gag! He invites her out tomorrow night but she’s going to see Phish, which she mentions is a concert. He seems put out at the explanation. They make tentative plans for earlier in the day. Thomas explains a day date is being put in the friend zone and he’s fearful of it. I did not know that! I am a busy, busy girl and day dates are often the only thing that fits. Now I know I guess.
Shep is at the doctor’s office. The doc is a friend of Thomas’ so he hopes the judgement level is lower than a normal physician. The nurse is cute and he hasn’t hit on her yet. Do you smoke, yes/ Do you drink? yes. How many per night? 7,8,9 maybe? Does a shot count? yes, then 12. Holy cow man! He mentions every time that he was winning the basketball game. He’s very honest with the doctor about how he was doubled over and is concerned about the history of heart disease in his family. They do the regular doctor stuff. Doc tells him to stop drinking for a week and he will feel better. Let’s see how long this lasts.
Previews for where I would absolutely kill Craig is I were Naomi.
Thomas and Landon are having lunch and Landon is a royal pain in the ass! If I were her server I’d never come back to that table. Thomas is smart, he wants a resposado tequilla with a splash of lime – dude knows his alcohol. Landon knows her mixers. Thomas talks about how every girl he talked to said they were bored! LOL Landon mentions he shouldn’t’ go out hoping to score on a weekend night. Now he wishes he listened to his dad about settling down. Dear Landon, just because Drew hasn’t been to NYC doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in the rest of the world. He’s still a baby! You can’t expect a lot our of him instantly. Give him a chance. Thomas is really working this hard to establish a budding relationship. We all know that Landon is just playing hard to get. She wants his bank account so badly.
Craig is making dinner for Naomi. He mentions he’s a big rom-com guy and seems to take that as his romantic bible. He’s setting dinner up on the parents’ deck. Here comes Naomi. she seems excited he was cooking. It’s nice and romantic and she’s very appreciative of the effort. She even mentions it is things like this that helps her put up with all his shit. He talks about how he has all of these projects going on. Naomi mentions that she heard he’s looking for a rental property. She points out he can’t do 100 things at the same time and do them all well. He claims she’s never seen it and we get a flashback to the charity event. Now he has filed articles of incorporation with someone named Josh to start a clothing line. What partner takes things this far without discussing it with their significant other? She points out that it’s been years regarding the bar. He doesn’t expect this from her. Naomi is hammering the last minute mentality that Craig has. she brings up how he is doing NOTHING to become a lawyer. He refuses to answer if he wants to be a lawyer. He is dancing around the question and bringing a bunch of nonsense up. Now he wants to be a special agent in the FBI which she seems to have not heard of. Now he says you are being kind of silly and ignorant and you are acting kind of dumb. She calls him out instantly. Demands an apology and tells him he doesn’t get to talk to her that way. He doesn’t like that she’s asked him the same question 5 times in a row and she says it’s because he won’t answer it. He’s done.
Previews have Whitney asking if Thomas and Landon were to get married would he have a prenup. He says no he trusts her. Que Landon all out chasing Thomas. More tension with and drama with Craig and Naomi. Girl you are too good for him!!! Unfortunately, we know via snapchat and twitter that they are still going strong. I hope his passing the bar has helped this out.