Prison Diaries Part 4

Sorry, guys, for taking way too long to write this. I wasn’t in the headspace, and it was just overwhelming. But all is well, back to normal, and here we go.

When I left off last, I was hanging with a different crowd-they were all really image conscious, selfies galore, and that wasn’t me. I had no identity as a woman, or even as an attractive female because I was so immersed in motherhood. It was my children 24/7/365. Everything I had, time, money, emotion, energy went to my children. I hadn’t even bought myself an item of clothing in probably 5 years at that point. So when I started spending time with this crew, I gained a little more self awareness. Definitely not more self esteem, there’s a difference.

So that’s when I was introduced to cocaine. It was 2008, I was at my friend “R”‘s house. She confessed she had a little side habit and offered me some. I had NEVER used it-I don’t think I’d ever even seen it. But I had been drinking, I think she got a kick out of popping my nose cherry, and did it. I’d always been terrified of hard drugs. I’m not sure to this day why I did, other than the fact I was in the midst of an identity crisis and vulnerable. I didn’t even like it. But kept doing it.

Eventually I was buying it on my own (my best friend at the time, her husband had been dealing it the whole time unbeknownst to me, and he was my connection) and it’s amazing who you find out is into what when you venture behind that curtain. Within that group of friends, there was a little subgroup of coke heads that no one knew about or even suspected. I became a part of that.

Eventually I got found out by the non coke heads, and my good friend “R” let me take the hit, acted horrified that I was doing that, and joined in saying what a mess I was and banishing me from this group. I was stupid and didn’t expose her, felt it wasn’t worth it and my credibility was shot anyway. But that whole little subgroup slithered away and acted like they weren’t involved and didn’t know me.

During this time, I was introduced to this guy named “R” who became my new connection and eventually my boyfriend. He pursued and pursued and pursued me relentlessly even though, come to find out, he had a girlfriend of 10 years. He somehow managed to convince me they were broken up, and I went out with him a few times. More on him later-he becomes an important player.

Let me be clear-I never had drugs in the house with my children nor did I use it with them home. I was still making shitty choices, I’m under no illusion that what I was doing was ok. My drug use wasn’t all the time, maybe a few times a month? But my prescription drug abuse was out of control. I was prescribed Fioricet with codeine, I’d get a 2 week supply that was gone in 3 or 4 days.

So. September 2008. I had a friend who had a roommate that was looking for drugs. Did I know anyone? Why yes, yes I did. So I gave out the number, they made their arrangements-he was going to drop it off with me, could I bring it to her? My kids were at their fathers, I wasn’t doing anything so I figured I could drop it off and visit with my friend. I met him outside, and walked to her house.

When I got there, something was not right. The roommate was outside with 2 men I didn’t recognize, and told me she was getting it for them. This isn’t right. Something is wrong. I told her to go inside and I’ll give it to her and then I’m getting the fuck out of there. We go up to the bathroom, I hand it to her, as I’m walking out, these 2 men bust thru the bathroom door saying they want to see because they’d been “burned”. Oh no, I’m out, something is not cool. I don’t know who these creeps are but I want no part of this-I’m just the middle man and never should have agreed to this. They’re blocking the door. She hands them their drugs-they ask me if it’s any good-I shrug my shoulders and say I have no idea, I don’t do this, was just doing a favor, and I’ve got to go. One of them wants my phone number-for what? I ask-I told you I’m just doing a favor, this isn’t my thing. The roommate recites my phone number. I say “Trish-I said no” but it’s too late. These guys are way too hyper and overexcited. I finally get out of there-never again, and wtf WAS that.

A few days later, my phone rings and it’s one of the clowns from the other night. He tells me how great the stuff was, and can I bring him more? He’s right down the street, and he can wait. I tell him no-and ask him what part of I don’t do this are you not getting? And hang up. This idiot continues to call for 2 weeks and leave messages asking me to sell him drugs. I finally block his number.

Fast forward to March 2009. I’m doing laundry, just dropped the kids at school, a knock at the door. It’s 2 police officers with a warrant for my arrest. FOR WHAT?!?!? There’s a good cop and a bad cop. The bad cop tells me to think about something bad I’ve done and that’s what it’s for. Seriously? I finally learn my charges are possession and sale of cocaine. What?!? I am racking my brain-when did I ever sell drugs?!? Wait a minute. I’m spending the night in jail. My babies. My babies. My babies. Oh my god.

Turns out, the roommate thought her disgusting boyfriend liked me. So her revenge was to call the police, set up an undercover transaction, wear a wire, and ruin my life because of jealousy. Those 2 creeps were undercover officers. Not very good ones. That one night started a huge snowball effect of despair, homelessness, shame, loss, fear, spiraling into worse addiction, pain, heartbreak, and the darkest time of my life.

And that was the first day of the end of my life.

Part 5 coming soon.

Talk soon Lovelies

-Allie

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49 thoughts on “Prison Diaries Part 4

  1. I can not tell your much I admire your bravery sharing these intimate, scary and embarassing details of your life with us. Hopefully some of your readers will identify with your situation and take steps to remove themselves before things progress to the degree that yours did.

    Liked by 7 people

    • I’m with you Maisey! I realized I was not breathing as I read this. It almost sounds like you (Allie) were in the wrong place wrong time, someone took advantage of you.
      I’ve seen this before. Someone gets arrested and they make a deal if they will turn someone bigger in. Not that you were big but was your boyfriend? Just noodling it out, it’s not really a question. Gosh, still can’t breathe right, taking a break. Love you!!

      Liked by 7 people

  2. It never ceases to amaze me just how shifty and self serving people can be. All over a guy. I am really impressed with how open and honest you are about this whole ordeal. I’d much rather read what you’re writing than a best selling book that sugar coats it all. Thanks for sharing your experience.

    Liked by 8 people

    • All insecurity over some nasty, buck toothed acne prone dumbass gross guy I’d never look twice at, plus, she was a frizzy haired ugly chick who already had dentures in her 20s and turned tricks for beer. Had quite the “relationship” with certain not so above board police officers and made a habit of snitching. She’s still living that life to this day. Thank you for your kind words-I’ve got nothing but my true story to tell, as ugly and shameful as it is. I made it out though. ❤️

      Liked by 7 people

  3. Allie- your story seems so unique, but in reality probably not that unique at all. I think you are a strong and brave person to share so openly. I am certain this will have a positive influence on someone, somewhere.
    You are one special lady! ❤

    Liked by 9 people

    • Pip, you are right, I have seen this in my younger days. A guy gets arrested for something, then the police will see if he knows someone else doing something worse. What I find repugnant is when the guy encourages one of “friends” (marks) to do something wrong, and much worse, so he can get off what he is charged with. SMDH
      It’s awful! Just awful Allie. Thank you for sharing this story.

      Liked by 4 people

  4. Allison, I have been out of touch for a while. I decided that I needed to catch up and read some past recaps. I expected the usual fare of Real Housewives, Southern Charm, and makeup blogs. Then I come across your Prison Diaries post and I can’t wait for the next installment. Although you don’t owe anyone this explanation of your experience, you are drawing us in for a very personal look at a hard time in your life. Thanks Allie for allowing us a glimpse into part of what has shaped you into being the awesome person you are now. Don’t worry about the naysayers and haters if they have anything stupid to say. Everyone has a past. Some just more interesting than others.

    Liked by 12 people

    • I’ve missed you Hannah!! Allie’s story is inspiring and it may help others when a supposed “friend” tries to talk them in to doing something they would never do in real life.
      I wonder if the guy,R, knew something was up so asked you to go to her house. Just a thought, it doesn’t mean that is how it happened. I have something similar in my past.

      A friend was tricked in to doing something by one of his closest friends. We later learned that he had been arrested for burglary and made up a story about this big drug den with guns, deals, etc. The police burst into a home with a baby in the playpen and the Mom hanging clothes on the line. It was a horrific experience for my family
      They found nothing, nothing. Can you imagine 10 or 12 men busting in to your home with shot guns hand guns drawn?

      I have never told this story before, not sure I should tell it now, but I admire you so for sharing, thank you.

      Liked by 6 people

      • Your family was lucky that no one was hurt. It happened here with Swat firing a flash grenade into baby crib. Baby is seriously burned & injured with medical bill over a million. He will be OK as much as he can be. Of course family has lawsuit against police dept. I know police work with the info they receive but sometimes they don’t follow thru with the basics going instead for quick easy arrest.

        Liked by 3 people

      • Yes, reading back I see I didn’t word it quite right. You’re right the way this supposed friend set everything up was evil.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Allie I sent you an email also. You are strong & brave & humble. I’m so happy for you that your journey has a happy ending.

    We are fortunate women.

    Eff anyone that attempts to look down on you for having life happen to them & falling. Your strength is proven in the fact you stood back up, dusted off your knees & moved on in life, not making excuses for your behavior or choices or being a perpetual victim.

    Liked by 6 people

    • So am I. Believe you me. Yeah-it was such a messed up, evil situation. I mean, granted, I was doing something I shouldn’t have been doing. But it’s not like I left my house daily with that mission. I was pretty much lured out. But I should have said no.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I feel like you were set up. What did R say he could not do it? Just very suspicious of his motives as well. I know, easier to see it from the outside then when you are in the middler of what I call the perfect storm.
        I really admire you!

        Liked by 2 people

      • Thank you 😊 it’s been a long hard road, but I have definitely learned from my mistakes. “R” definitely had no idea. He kinda knew of Trish and didn’t like her, so he didn’t want to deal w her plus he was being lazy. Probably had bigger deals to make. 😒

        Liked by 2 people

  6. Oh Allie, what a horrifying experience for you and your babies. I am hugging you from across the miles. You survived and are stronger than ever. ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 6 people

  7. I’m sorry for commenting so much. This really hit me so hard. The unfairness of this just blows my mind. That someone could do this to a Mom of 5 small children.

    Liked by 3 people

    • It’s ok! Comment away!!! The girl had no concept of motherhood. She had 3 kids that CPS terminated her rights over for abuse and neglect. Not all at once, either. She’d have one, lose it. Over and over. Prostitution, larceny, plus the town snitch for gift cards. A complete parasite. She’d rent apartments and end up squatting til she got evicted or she’d get someone to let her stay w them and refuse to leave, and squat some more. To my knowledge is STILL living the same way. She’s vile.

      Liked by 3 people

  8. I read this with tears and am still crying actually trying to type while crying

    Because I have come to know you and you are such a caring sweet person and I know too you live for your kids

    I am crying because I know you end up going to jail and jail last place you should have been .

    You needed help for an addiction like so many others do. You were not violent . You were not even stealing to support your habit which many do.

    And yet you ended up in jail, away from your babies, surrounded by I can only assume hardened , violent criminals

    And so yes I am crying knowing this happening to you

    I am crying knowing this is time you won’t get back all because of a bitch that had some jealousy of your beauty

    I am crying because this is a story you never should have had to tell if the justice system had worked all those years ago

    I am crying because you should not have to be telling this story now if someone had not decided to threaten to out your past

    And I am crying because I admire who you have become and an honored to call you a friend

    Liked by 7 people

  9. You are the kindest soul, Happy. Your words to Allie made me cry.

    Allie, I applaud your sharing this. Your life did not end that day- it was a terrible, awful turn that I wish hadn’t happened. But, I have no doubt that every horrible thing you’ve been through and conquered- willingly or not- has made you the accepting, empathetic, real woman you are. Material things are replacable. To be stripped of all dignity, power and sense of self is such a large burden. The fact that you got your life back on track and have gotten to the other side and are now able to tell your story should fill you with pride! We’re all a work in progress. Seriously, take a moment to give yourself the credit you’re due! ❤

    Liked by 6 people

      • All thanks go to you, sweet Allie. ❤

        I don’t believe in coincidences. This blog has enabled you to use your voice and life experience to help others. Whether it be by way of escaping the daily grind and talking about our TV shows and hated/loved celebs, learning about new make-up products/application techniques, indulging in pop culture/current events or opening up about our past struggles. You’ve created a beautiful community here of people who are free to express and connect with others- through both our similarities and differences.

        I’ve been a longtime reader of several sites but had never ever felt inclined to comment, simply because people can’t disagree respectfully. It’s just a negativity that I can avoid, so I always have.
        Sure we have trolls that pop in from time to time, but the overall quality of your readers is top notch. That is a direct reflection of you. The tone you set.

        I know I’ve said this a million times, but I really wish you’d consider making this a profitable venture.
        Also, albeit off topic, but something that’s been nagging at me. I don’t know where to start, but there has gotta be someone here that has info on getting you sponsored for monthly giveaways. It’s a fun idea and I know we all appreciate your heart and intentions. I just don’t think that you should pay for these regular giveaways. Especially because you’re making zero for your blogging. You’ve promoted so many products that we’ve gone out and tried ourselves…I am certain there is a way to get this done….anyone???

        Liked by 3 people

      • I’m blown away by all you’ve said, JaneyMae, and truly, truly appreciate it, and it means so much. I can not agree more with your assessment of my readership-you all impress me and I’m honored that you guys are to read what I write, however haphazard it comes across sometimes. Every site has trolls, but I honestly don’t think the troll problem is bad-they rarely make appearances. I’m sure there’s a section of people sorely disappointed that there’s no drama, fighting, or scandal at the moment-but oh well. As far as the giveaways-if anyone has any thoughts, let me know, but in the mean time, I’ve got no problem paying myself. It is the LEAST I can do for all the support and love you’ve all shown me these months.

        Like

  10. I cannot believe how you were setup — entrapment definitely comes to mind. And it seems like it took months from when the actual event occurred to when you were arrested, which again sounds so sketchy on the part of law enforcement. A great defense lawyer could have made this go away, if you had the money for one. But no, a young mother with little kids gets totally screwed because of a lapse in judgment. I’m so sorry that happened to you and I’m so sorry that another pathetic excuse for a human being outed you as your past is none of her damn business! But –as usual — it’s backfired on her because the bravery and courage you display in telling your story only serves to make the rest of us admire and support you. You should be proud of the lovely community you’ve built here among like-minded people who feel comfortable expressing their own opinions, without fear of ridicule or contempt or the “ganging-up” mentality that pervades other sites. You are small but mighty! And it’s through your struggles that you found your voice so that others could find theirs. Mahalo, my dear Allie!

    Liked by 6 people

    • Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am immensely proud of all of my Lovelies, lurkers and active commenters. I’m even somewhat grateful to my haters, they fuel me to be better and not bitter. I’m so grateful for all of the love and support.

      Liked by 4 people

  11. Oh Allie, I have been haunted by your story all day. My heart breaks for you and your children and the utter senselessness of it all. This story reeks of entrapment. For them to come after you six months after the event is horrifying and makes me lose faith with the whole judicial system. I know your story has a happy ending because here you stand before us, telling your story with such courage– your children and a wonderful husband by your side. I cannot comprehend the horror of being locked up because of one bad decision, that any one of us could have made. Yes, every step you’ve taken has led you to become the wonderful woman that you are, but I am so sorry you had to live this nightmare. I know you story will be heard and you will help many people by telling it. Thank you for sharing this difficult part of your lives with us. It makes us love and admire you eve more than we already did. xoxo

    Liked by 3 people

  12. wow, Allie. Much respect to you for posting about this, what must have simultaneously been the most frightening and humiliating thing to ever happen to you!

    “But for the Grace of God go I…”

    Your parents must have been right shocked. Did they have any idea about any of this?
    ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

    Liked by 5 people

  13. Wow, Allie, This made me so sad 😭Then I got really really pissed off at your attorney. He obviously did a terrible job of defending your case. The despicable poor excuse for a human being who set you up should rot. She will get hers,Karma baby.
    The best thing that happened is you kicked the bad habits. I have seen what happened to many cokeheads and it is not pretty.
    Kudos to you💥💥💥⭐️

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you. Oh, I had lots of habits I had to kick-keep reading. It was my first experience in the judicial system so I had no idea which way was up. It was a crazy, confusing time-it all happened for a reason though. For a while I thought I must have been Hitler in a past life or something to deserve all of the garbage that happened. Sheesh.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Allie, you are simply a delight! Delightful Allie – a breath of fresh air! ❤
    May we all learn something from your unfortunate adventure.
    Thank you for trusting us enough share the lowest point in your life.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I still feel bad that someone made you feel like you had to write this, but I’m glad you did, for you.

    It’s really no big deal. Lots of people make mistakes. What matters is how you change your life afterwards 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. I think what happened a few months ago was just my last straw. So many other people have told my story, savoring the pain and shame it caused me, twisting it and inventing things, taking glee in being hurtful-I’m taking my story back and telling it my way, the true way, with what really happened.

      Liked by 1 person

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