Here it is! I’ve been waiting all week to see Dorinda hand Sonja her ass on a platter! Let’s hope it’s worth the wait…
We pick up with Ramona greeting her guests, Sonja arrives with Tinsley. Sonja gives Ramona a candle, Tinsley is nervous about meeting Dorinda and it’s not just the intimidation factor, but what if they really hit it off and she likes Dorinda? Quelle Horreur! Sonja and Tinsley make the rounds socializing, and Tinsley finally comes face to face with Dorinda. Sonja is not so discreetly watching from the side. Tinsley tells Dorinda that she is Sonja’s current roomie and Dorinda wishes her luck. Tinsley keeps up the nervous chatter, and Dorinda’s talking head says that nothing is free with Sonja. Dorinda asks Tinsley why she moved from Palm Beach, and Tinsley says a bad relationship, and mentions her arrest. Dorinda reassures her that everyone in that room has fucked up and not to be so hard on herself. Tinsley feels like she has to bring up her arrest all the time, which I get-you feel like if you’re talking about it it’s not so hurtful when someone else does.
Carole rehashes the previous night’s dinner disaster to Sonja and talks about how Ramona went for Bethenny’s jugular with the “soft porn” and Brynn. Sonja says she heard about the movie and it wasn’t so bad, and uses her daughter as an example of how hard it is to embarrass your kids, look at what Sonja does. However- dollars to donuts Sonja’s daughter is mortified by her mother’s antics.
Luann joins the Tinsley and Dorinda convo, and realizes that Tinsley isn’t in the “bridal room” as Lu calls it (dumb) but is staying in Sonja’s daughter’s room which is beyond weird to me.
Lu asks Carole about her election party, Carole really doesn’t want Ramona there but isnt sure how to tell her. She might not even have to, Ramona may not even go.
“Dinner is served” shrieks Ramona. It’s a buffet style dinner that Ramona insists she cooked but Dorinda doesn’t believe it and neither do I. There’s an empty seat between Sonja and Dorinda which is good because it’s goin’ DOWN. Sonja breaks the ice and says hello to Dorinda, the usual oh you look so gorgeous, I didn’t see you earlier (lie). Dorinda gives a chilly response-Sonja says that she’s seen Lu and Dorinda walking around town-Dorinda tells her she’s been staying at Ramona’s house (that’s why you aren’t, Sonja) and makes it a point to say she has to split her time between Lu and Ramona because her time is in high demand. Sonja says “that used to be me but oh well”. Dorinda is winding up-I can see it and she’s about to swing. Sonja says that she can see Dorinda and Lu from her house, Dorinda asks if she’s called anyone to report it-awww shit… 3…2…1 Dorinda blows.
Dorinda says that they’re going to discuss the elephant RIGHT NOW, shut your mouth. Luann is sending a death glare to Sonja-she’s not on your side, dear. Carole isn’t gonna save you either. And in Dorinda goes. Sonja wants to know what she said, Dorinda says it’s more like what didn’t you say. Sonja challenges Dorinda with ” what are you gonna do, back it up?” Oh-yep. That’s exactly what she’s gonna do. She tells Sonja to “stop the vaginal rejuvenation because your vagina should have an EZ pass on it with your Holland Tunnel. Turnstile and ticket!!” Oh damn. Sonja looks like she wants to crawl under the table, keeps looking at different guests and just raising her eyebrows. But Dorinda isn’t done-oh no. She goes on to tell Sonja that everything she does has failed-Lu tries to intervene but Dorinda shuts her down. Carole is just piling food into her face to hide her smirk and not have to say anything. Ramona comes over and sits in the middle of the 2, and tries to shush Dorinda who is on a roll. Dorinda asks something about taking pictures. Ramona expected a blowout but had sort of hoped it would’ve waited til dessert.
Dorinda wants to know if Sonja enjoyed “doggy styling” the male strippers at Lu’s shower, Sonja says she did-Dorinda says if that’s Sonja sober, she’d hate to see her drunk. Talking head Sonja is embarrassed and says that this is not how one acts at a dinner party. Thank you, Miss Manners.
Tinsley, being brave, tries to stick up for Sonja to no avail. The Dorinda Rage Train has left the station and the engineer is sleeping with his foot on the gas. Sonja tells Tinsley she doesn’t care, she’s been badmouthed over and over. Lu explains to Sonja that a blogger came out with negative quotes from Sonja about the wedding, Dorinda, etc. Sonja denies it, rather dismissively and very unconvincingly. She then busts out with how she booked a trip to Thailand when she was still dating Tom-cue eyeroll from Luann-then says she’d never miss the wedding. Dorinda reminds her how not invited she is but Sonja insists she’s invited to the wedding despite Lu shaking her head no. Dorinda tells Sonja to shut up because this is the beginning of the end. Dorinda then, weirdly, tells Sonja to get a bag of cucumber and bananas-Carole tells her to knock it off, Dorinda agrees that was jr high. Sonja starts yelling and tells them to talk to her instead of reading the newspaper, yells about her off Broadway play to which Dorinda spits “it was disgusting”, Sonja namedrops some guy she says didn’t think it was disgusting and Tinsley gives a weak “it wasn’t disgusting, it was very nice!”
Some random named Glenn taps his glass to give a toast, trying to distract everyone from the show at the other end of the table. He toasts wonderful Ramona. Sonja talks over him the whole time.
Carole brings up the election so Dorinda throws in that Sonja worked for Trump as a consultant. Carole is all wait what? Sonja gets to talk about her favorite topic, Sonja, and says she was a “brand consultant for Trump Luxury Brands” but it’s all Charlie Brown’s teacher to me. It’s just more of Sonja’s ego overstating what she really did, if anything.
Dorinda is telling Tinsley that Sonja slandered her family and is getting really intense. Tread lightly, Tinsley. Tinsley makes a comment about not really knowing if it’s true, but Carole and Dorinda both tell her oh, it’s true (that Sonja has been
shit talking). Tinsley feels like this may not be the time or the place so she is wisely backing off. Dorinda calls Sonja a liar and a fraud and tells her to fix her toilet. What? Dorinda leaves the table and Ramona’s friend, FrankenNancy says how mean that all was. Carole and and Sonja are still at the table and Carole tries to explain to Sonja why Dorinda is so upset but Sonja, with all of her insight, says ” that’s bizarro”. Tinsley tries again to defend Sonja by saying she was hurt too, and Carole says what we are all thinking and that’s Sonja didn’t get invited to the Berkshires, it was one night, BFD. Tinsley is realizing that Sonja may not have given the entire story and this whole thing is not as one sided as she wanted Tinsley to believe.
Everyone is back at the table, there’s a ton of yelling, Lu says something about people busting into her room, then people are yelling “stirring the pot!!!” at Sonja-during all of this Bethenny pulls up to get Carole, and it seems that she can hear the yelling from her car. Bethenny calls Carole as Dorinda is yelling at Sonja calling her a disgusting pathetic delusional fool-lots of yelling. Carole tells Bethenny that the shit’s going down (Dorinda is now yelling “Fraud” over and over) finally Ramona pulls Sonja out of the room. Dorinda goes to follow but Lu calls her back to sit with her and Tinsley. Luann puts Tinsley on the spot, asking what Sonja says about them. Come ON, Countess of Etiquette. Tinsley says that Sonja knew she carried the grudge for too long and wanted to end it. Dorinda says “yeah right” and Lu asks for dessert.
Ramona hugs Sonja, who says that she thinks that Dorinda needed to vent because she hadn’t seen Sonja for a while. Carole tells Bethenny she will be out in 10 minutes, she just needs to talk to Ramona to make sure she’s not coming to the election party. She tells Ramona she knows that she wasn’t coming anyway, but MONKEY WRENCH Ramona says oh, I’m coming. Carole says no, Ramona says yes, and they do that for a minute, until Carole tells Ramona she doesn’t think it’s a good idea for her to show up. Ramona starts to have a big fit because is Carole disinviting her. I love Carole but this wasn’t her personal election and the elitist attitude about who’s informed and who isn’t and only wanting informed ppl there is not flattering. While yes, Carole is very informed, she’s far from unbiased. Ramona kicks up the immaturity a few notches by saying to Sonja and Carole “fine! You’re not my friend and you’re not my friend.” All she needed was a foot stomp and door slam to complete the look.
Dorinda is bitching to Candace Bushnell about Sonja and Carole finally makes a break for it. Ramona brings out a bday cake for all November birthdays (ohhhhkayyy) and yells an inclusion for Bethenny, who’s driving the hell outta there.
At Luann’s her brunch is underway, she’s got Ramona, Dorinda and Candice Bushnell over. Dorinda says she feels good about the way things went down the night before with Sonja.
Tinsley and Sonja are discussing the previous evening-Sonja doesn’t need mud slinging y’all-
Dorinda says there was no more interaction between her and Sonja after all that. She said what she had to. Ramona is on the background bringing up Bethenny’s name-why?
Ramona is back to dwelling on Bethenny and the fact she didn’t come to her party and isn’t at the brunch-she’s using it as an example of Bethenny’s grudge-holding. But wait-how’s it a grudge? She then makes a shitty comment about Carole and thinks Carole “disinvited” her on Bethenny’s behalf, but really it’s just that she’s not informed enough. Ramona is still going on, and says “Who does that? Who disinvites someone?” Flashback to Ramona disinviting Sonja. The convo goes back to Dorinda not regretting her freak out. Lu keeps telling her she’s too “elegant” for that, Dorinda tells Lu to knock it off, she’s seen Lu get upset too, enough is enough.
Tinsley and Sonja are leaving the house in matching hats for Ramona’s brunch. Sonja wants to talk to Dorinda because she knows Dorinda didn’t mean a word of that. They don’t ring the bell or knock, just walk in, and that makes the eavesdropping they do even easier. Sonja whispers “see? They’re talking about us!” When the discussion turns to Tinsley and that they all like her, Sonja kind of pushes Tinsley ahead. Sonja marches over to Dorinda and hugs her. All is well with them now.
Dorinda is glad that the argument is over-now Lu wants to show off her new addition. They’re all in Lu’s new bedroom and Sonja says how happy she is for Lu. Luann gets almost in her face and says “really? Are you?” Sonja says she is always happy for Lu but Lu is always mad at her. Lu is shocked. She’s letting it slide but doesn’t think it’ll last.
Sonja makes some backhanded comment about being there for Luann even though Lu dates her boyfriends and dumps her at parties. She just wants Luann to be there for her a little more, ok? Sonja still insists she’s invited to Luann’s wedding. It’s so weird, Ramona thinks so too. Luann makes a toast to friendship and happiness.
Dorinda, Luann and Tinsley are getting together for dinner. Lu and Dorinda are wearing the same outfit. Dorinda is throwing a surprise party for Ramona’s 60th birthday and hopes it stays surprise. Tinsley is glad that Dorinda and Sonja made up. Dorinda goes on to explain how before they all had algebra friendships ( A doesn’t like B so C doesn’t talk to D) and is glad that’s over as well. Tinsley is worried that Sonja might be mad if she becomes friends with the others yet she didn’t invite or tell Sonja about this dinner. Now, y’all KNOW how Sonja gets when she’s not included. Bitter and grudge-y. And real talky with the blogs.
Tinsley is spilling the beans about Sonja’s dating life, she calls the guy Frenchie. We get to see Sonja go through her underwear on the bathroom floor. Her towels are all monogrammed STAM so there’s no mistaking who’s toilet you’re crapping in. STAM. Sonja proceeds to wash her lingerie in the bidet. She’s a Francophile y’all, so she’s dating Frenchie. And washing her lingerie in the bidet.
Back to the dinner, Lu is planning Toms birthday and she’s going to have a mariachi band. How different and exciting. Tinsley needs to go back to Palm Beach to tie up her legal ends, have her court case disposed of, and be done with the nightmare. Dorinda wants to know if she has a mugshot. Duh. And she’s got some sharp ass brows in that pic. Tinsley thinks no one will want to date her after this but Dorinda and Lu reassure her that she will have noooooo problem in NYC.
Dorinda visits John at work and brings him a healthy lunch. Hannah is moving out and John thinks he’ll be able to drop by on a whim- not so fast bucko.
Bethenny drops by Carole’s house, and all of Carole’s pets are named “Baby”. Bethenny muses that Carole can write a bestselling novel, but can’t think of 3 pet names. Carole and Adam are “shacking up” but he’s still looking for another apt for himself. Bethenny asks why don’t they just stay living together? Carole says they both need alone time. Carole asks how things are with Jason, Bethenny says they’re horrible but she wants to fix it, and when Ramona pulled her soft porn/ Brynn crap, Bethenny ran out of I Forgive Yous. I can’t blame her.
Sonja is holding her assistant captive and making him listen to her bitch about Tinsley hanging out with Dorinda and Lu, and as predicted, jealousy has arrived. She’s playing the possessive friend game “they were MINE FIRST”. Connor the assistant could care less. Sonja namedrops the owner of the restaurant that Dorinda, Lu and Tinsley were at and says he’s her best friend, of course she’s going to hear about it. As she goes on, Tinsley gets home and overhears her. She hears Sonja complaining about her and is shocked.
Tinsley sweeps into the kitchen and confronts Sonja, saying “I just heard you bitching”. Sonja rolls her eyes and tells Tinsley that she can’t possibly know the same people Sonja does-but Tinsley says she’s known them since her Palm Beach days. She tells Sonja that she doesn’t have many close friends in NYC, so if she wants to claim someone as a friend, back off. Sonja as usual is all about Sonja and turns it in to her being butthurt because Tinsley never invites her along when she leaves the house. Oh and by the way, Tinsley isn’t allowed to bring a date home. Tinsley is a grown adult and Sonja’s rules suck. I get not wanting her to have a date in her daughters bedroom-so why didn’t she put her up in Lu’s old room? Or the “bridal room”? Because she wants to control Tinsley. After telling Tinsley she’s not allowed male company, Sonja humps her dog.
Next week: Carole’s election party and subsequent devastation, Sonja gets stroked, Carole spills the beans, Ramona and Sonja disagree.
Talk soon Lovelies