Hi everyone, welcome to the commentary, respectfully submitted by NoLife.
Tonight’s beverage is a glass of Apple/Ginger Juice as I’m still having afterglow of my migraine yesterday. Who says peri-menopause ain’t fun? Luckily, I am on vacation for the week so I’ll have plenty of time to chill and not have to catch a plane at 5am tomorrow J.
This won’t be a recap. More like impressions and comments. Please join in the fun.
First of all – The clothes:
Thank God, everyone brought their tits #sarcasm
Cynthia looks fabulous in the blue and I love her wig.
Kenya, I’m not a fan of her in gold, which she wears a lot, but this isn’t the worst. Love the shorter hair.
Kandi….rocking the pantsuit, but the, ummmmmm, camel toe…repeat after me: Camel NO!
Phaedra looks fantastic in red, and it looks like the ruffles MAY cover up the fat rolls. I’m hoping she doesn’t turn around.
Porsha looks good in purple, but I hate the print. And I really hate her with short hair – makes her face even longer.
Sheree in teal/green/steel blue? (Can someone tell me what color that it, I don’t have it on my color wheel)? She looks FANTASTIC! She is my pick for best dressed.
And looking at the pre-make up shots, Sheree has a miracle worker.
Andy calls them hilarious housewives….riiiiiiight.
He throws some shade at Kandi for having first chair. Then some at Porsha for having Kardi Buress season 2 hair, she says more like Halle Berry…. riiiiiiight.
First clips are all about the procedures they’ve had this year. Phaedra really thinks camel toe is a GOOD thing.
Now we talk about “titties”. Kandi just had her boobs done…she says they’re on fleek. And back to Phaedra and camel toe. Phaedra says Amazon sells artificial camel toe… riiiiiiight. Next she’ll be thinking moose knuckle is attractive as well.
What’s Moose Knuckle? Here’e the Phaedra Guide to high fashion:
This first segment is a disaster and a complete waste of time. Andy makes some inappropriate comments about how “black don’t crack” and how these ladies all have their real faces whereas on other shows they are all about the Botox and fillers. He really hates women.
Now the house wars, blah blah blah. Kenya got the award for coming up with the most names about the Chateau.
Most of the ladies admit to owning guns because of the intruder situation at Kenya’s…stupid question and they should NOT have answered that.
Commercial: So the juice is organic and would taste fantastic with some Whiskey in it, but it tastes pretty good without it too. It almost tastes like a mulled cider.
Back to Andy asking about Chateau Thelma and how Kenya said Sheree don’t live there on WWHL. Sheree says she lives there. Kenya says she drives by all the time and there are never lights on. The appliances are in but the basement still isn’t done. Kenya says Kim came for her because she needed a check. Kandi was just trying to not laugh because they were saying such funny things. Kenya admits that she was being shady going into the basement. They continue to fight. Kenya brings up the liens. Sheree says she’s paid the ones that should be paid. Sheree says a rich African put down the down payment on Kenya’s house. At the end of the day Kenya says (Chateau) is not her style but it’s beautiful. Kenya calls the feud silly and sounds like she’s trying to make up.
Ugh, Phaedra package…Andy calls her the peacemaker… riiiiiiight. Andy gives her props for everything she did this season….he’s an ass. She says she trying to get people into good places. And into the Kandi situation. She’s optimistic about Kandi, Kandi calls bullshit.
Commercial….at least they’ve kept the yelling to a minimum thus far for my head.
Kenya thanks Phaedra for including her in the Flint camp thing.
And now, the friendship that wasn’t….Phaedra and Kenya. Kenya was hoping for a healthy friendship….riiiiiiight. Phaedra maintains that Kenya was inappropriate and disrespectful of her marriage. Now we have rehashed the past years. Phaedra says Kenya drinks like a fish and Kenya really gets heated saying that’s a damn lie.
Commercial…I understand now, they need 4 reunion episodes to show all these commercials…thirty minutes in and this is the 3 with a minimum of 6 commercials each break. I should recap the commercials. This break lasted almost 5 minutes.
Back to the show….and Phaedra and Kenya. The divorce party and how Sheree threw herself one. Phaedra who just threw out Kenya is a drunk and something about a “Dubai date book” (anyone know what that’s about?) goes on to say that she has no ill will towards her… riiiiiiight
Guess what time it is? It’s time for another commercial. Five big minutes of show, so now we need 4 minutes of commercials.
Back with Porsha keeping her hands to herself package…. riiiiiiight. Andy doesn’t know what “on ready” means? Kandi explains that it means ready to be jumped on. Then he asks if anyone brought their guns….they didn’t, but I did. Porsha prattles on about her Anger Management. Porsha calls Kenya evil.
Another commercial: 0850 start: Preview of RHOP, colorUlta, The Circle (movie), KY, Maybelline, Nationwide, Dove, Galaxy S8, Victoria’s Secret, Michelob Ultra (yuck), Sweet home Oklahoma end:0853.
A viewer asks why does Kenya not to have to go to therapy. Blah blah blah. Another view says Kandi also has Anger Management issues as well. And they scream at each other….fantastic.
And we end…Thank you Jesus.
All in all, about you’d expect…there really wasn’t any big fireworks this one until the very end. Yeah, you can skip this one if you want.