Hi guys! Pip here. This is my first recap ever. Please bear with me. I am learning all kinds of things here, and I don’t have a clue as to what I am doing. I don’t even know how to post a picture! So, it may be a long night for us!
We open with TRav showing up to Landon’s house. He brings her a flower and she says “For future reference, orchids are my favorite”. Really? The dude brings you a flower and you tell him it’s the wrong kind? Not to mention, why is he giving her a flower? Hmmm… They are now outside somewhere talking near the water. Landon asks TRav what he is looking for now? He says “A life partner. I know it’s scary for you and you have a lot going on, but, why not? Let’s give it a shot”. Ummm… what?
And now they are flashing back to three months earlier, like they did last season. So I guess this is where we begin.
Shots of everyone doing their normal daily stuff (including Patricia reading her pug Chauncey his horoscope while lying in bed wearing a feather boa and white gloves).
Cameron says she has reached out to Craig several times, but he isn’t getting back to her, so she is just going to head over there. She says in her talking head that they are a little miffed at him for lying to them about his finishing law school. Cameron says she isn’t angry with him, but that her trust level has dropped a bit now.
Craig is a manly-man now and is building stuff. He says that he is now a professional gardener and carpenter. Craig says that his girlfriend will be working on her MBA while he is studying for the bar. Cameron questions whether or not he even wants to follow through with the bar, but Craig says he still wants to graduate from law school. He won’t be taking the bar for a few months.
TRav is talking about how Kathryn failed her drug test and he is now with the kids full time. He keeps the kids in the guest house instead of the main house because “kids are messy and destructive”. He wants to be able to retain the peace of mind that if they spit up, it’s not on a $30,000. rug. He didn’t really just say that, did he? Dude…
Kathryn is apparently not allowed to see her kids for a couple of months until she can pass a drug test for the courts. WOW! I am not a Kathryn fan, AT ALL! But I am sure this was tough. TRav is saying that he hopes that she can “get there for her sake, but more importantly for the kids sake”. I am pretty sure what he means is that he hopes she can get there for HIS sake. Two toddlers are a whole lotta work he probably couldn’t have imagined.
Shep is meeting up at the bar with his friend Austen. Is Austen a new cast member? They are both flirting with women. Shep has apparently been traveling a lot this summer. He also said the key to traveling is having a free place to stay. Amen Brother! Austen asks Shep if TRav hooked up with Landon. Shep says he has no idea, but would like to see the video? Really Shep? Come on! You’re classier than that! Apparently, Landon said to Shep, “when I thought you were ready, you would choose me.” Shep said he is NOT ready. Shep tries to get some girls phone number, and the girl asks if he remembers her name. He doesn’t. #fail
Some girl is waking up at Austen’s house (looks like a one nighter to me). As she is stumbling out of bed, he offers her a coconut water, asks her where she lives, and then says “Well, at least it won’t be a long walk of shame for you”. Classy guy. Apparently he broke up with his ex, Jenna a while ago. She wanted marriage, he didn’t OH. EM. GEE. We are getting a full on ass shot of this guy while he is getting into the shower. When did SC start with the nudity? Austen says that the reasons he moved to Charleston were for the beaches, the women, and the fact that it is a big drinking town. Clearly his priorities are straight. He is a rep for a beer company. He gets paid to do what he loves “like and talk about beer”. Mom and Dad aren’t quite so keen on this. They feel he needs a career, not a job just to get by and live paycheck to paycheck.
And now we get PATRICIA! Who I have been waiting for. In walks Whitney to the study and Patricia now has a buzzer for Michael the butler rather than the bell. She is very concerned that the buzzer doesn’t work properly. Michael the butler says “I am sure the battery has worn down”. OH SNAP!! Good one, Michael! You know that woman is hitting that buzzer constantly! Whitney went to Mexico with his friend and didn’t drink, but instead smoked weed the entire time. He is now being lectured by Patricia about the legal ramifications of smoking weed and how it can make you lose your family (jab at Kathryn- not so subtle). Patricia asks about TRav and Kathryn. I did not know that Kathryn tested positive for Marijuana, Cocaine, and opiates. Whoopsie. She apparently went to rehab. Michael the butler shows up with drinks and the bell, because God forbid, Patricia is without a way to beckon him. Patricia is now talking about how “Uncle Philip had a huge government job and then started smoking pot and ended up working at Block Buster Video”. Oh, how that made me laugh!! Bless your heart, Patricia!
Landon is going paddle boarding. She talks about how last year sucked. The failed website, the crush on Shep that didn’t go anywhere, and the crap with Kathryn and Thomas. She feels she has a scarlet letter on her because of the rumor. Craig calls Landon to see if she is going to some party on Sunday. She confirms, but states she is nervous because she hasn’t seen or talked to Shep. Things are awkward, so she is bringing a friend named Drew. Drew is ten years younger than her and she thinks he is really hot. Not sure about the status of their relationship. Sounds like kinda maybe dating? But no labels.
Polo and fancy music. TRav is playing polo with some blondie. Eliza- daughter of one of his best friends, Chip Limehouse who was in the state legislature. Apparently Limehouse is a big name down there as is Ravenel. They are discussing this party that is happening Sunday. TRav wants to know if Kathryn is coming. He thinks she should be invited. Eliza says that she has not spoken with Kathryn at all, just gotten these kinda “weird drunk texts”. Shelby, Kathryn’s cousin was letting her stay with her, but apparently Shelby had to kick her out. She felt she was having to babysit her. Neither of them know where Kathryn is now living.
Shep and Cameron are meeting up at a surf shop, looking for swimsuits. Shep is bringing his friend Austen to the party, and Cameron asks if Austen has now replaced Craig. Shep says a cadaver could replace Craig and there would be no change. Ouch! Cameron is bringing her friend Chelsea, which immediately gets Shep excited. He says he loves Chelsea. Cameron thinks she could be the one for Shep. They talk about Craig and whether or not he is making money doing his hobbies. They chuckle. Cameron reveals that Craig has told her that he will not start studying for the bar until two months before the exam. I swear, you guys? Wasn’t that what happened last year? He did the same damn thing and look where it got him. What a dumbass. Shep is over it. He resents how Craig turned in an application for the bar exam while Shep was WITH HIM, knowing full well that he wasn’t even eligible to take the exam. Shep is analyzing Craig… he says Craig is full of a family of jocks, and isn’t like them. So he came to Charleston and is basically a poser trying to be cool. Double ouch! Shep just actually said “There is no way he is cheating on Naomi… he couldn’t get pussy in a monkey whorehouse with a sack of bananas under his shoulder”. SHEP! What has happened to you? You use to be such a nice boy!
Craig and Naomi are in the car and Kathryn calls and sounds kinda weird. “Surprise surprise I’m back”. Kathryn is back in Charleston living with her family and “trying to do the right thing and get her life back on track”. Craig knows Kathryn has some issues, and apparently she was in rehab somewhere in California. Craig is leery, he says she makes things very complicated. They flashback to season one where Kathryn was… ahem… “spending time” with Shep, Whitney, and TRav. They hang up and Naomi says that she does not want to mention to Landon that Kathryn even got in touch with them… which, of course means you know Craig will tell everyone immediately.
Okay- were at the party. It’s hot and Cameron immediately strips down to her swimsuit. DAMN! Cameron looks GREAT in a swimsuit. JEALOUS! She’s ready to drink. Shep is excited about the big kiddie slide. Austen is being introduced to the girls. Cameron totally goes right in on him. You gotta job? What’s your deal?
HAHAHA! Craig and Naomi walk into Landon’s and the first thing he says is we just got off the phone with Kathryn. (Called it). Landon tells us she doesn’t like Kathryn. She was also surprised at her fancy rehab choice in California that was very expensive, and very far away from her children. Landon says the reason Kathryn went to rehab in Malibu was to find some rich guy… “basically her next victim”.
Back to Eliza’s pool party, where everyone is now showing up. Shep is by the pool (no speedo- thank you, baby Jesus), and Craig and Naomi have just showed up with Landon. Drew (Landon’s new boyfriend? Still not sure?) just showed up. Ummm… HELLO DREW! YOWZA!! Everyone is making small-talk and Landon is squeaking about how she feels everyone is talking behind her back. TRav says Drew doesn’t seem like Landon’s type. Someone sounds jealous.
In walks Whitney. Cameron is possibly trashed already and jumps on Whitney giving him a “I am so glad to see you!!” dry-hump. Shep and Landon finally chat. They seem happy to see each other. Landon feels there is unfinished business and needs to talk about stuff, but they don’t. They keep on smiling and pretend it didn’t happen. According to Landon that is the way of the south. She is still irritated with him.
Chelsea (Cameron’s friend) shows up, Shep is happy. TRav is drunk and flirting in the pool. Shep and Namoi chat. Shep is telling Naomi that Craig should be a Chef because he has so much talent. Naomi gives an eyeroll. Shep is kinda going in a little hard and Naomi seems unhappy with where this is headed. He is asking her what is going on with the bar, and she says “I think that is something you need to ask Craig”. Shep explains that when he DOES try and talk with him, Craig gives him bullshit. Shep is a little drunky. He apologizes if he offended her and she is cool and says no prob.
Shelby, Kathryn’s cousin just showed up. Shelby is the one who had to kick Kathryn out of her house. And now we have Kathryn leaving her house… and we all know where she is headed, right? Back at the pool party everyone is talking about Kathryn. She completed her Rehab program but according to Shelby, she isn’t doing “better”. Naomi is explaining that Kathryn just called them and said she is doing really well and that she really wants to see her kids. TRav asks her, “Well then why didn’t she take the drug test”? “I went in to take my second, I mean THIRD drug test and my lawyer was shocked that she had not been in there to take hers”. He tells Cameron that she refuses to take the drug test because she knows she will fail.
OH! Well I’ll be damned! Kathryn drove to the hospital for her drug test appointment. Nice job, producers. I thought for sure she was heading to that party to raise all kinds of hell.
What’d you guys think?